One Year Later - Remembering Kay Vermeulen Nichols

Of course, those in the Jake and Austin fandom knew Kay Nichols as Austin's mom.  But she was known for so much more, and long before Austin came along.  For anyone who didn't know her personally like myself, we rarely find out someone's personal qualities and gifts until they are gone.  I learned more about Kay Nichols by reading guest books, online tributes and the Clark Lake Spirit website than I ever would have known otherwise.  What a special lady.  I've always said the highest compliment any of us can have said about us when we've gone is for folks to say you were a good person. That you were kind. Positive. That you took time out for others.  Forget everything else, all of the professional accolades and trophies on the mantle.  It's how you touched other people that leaves the lasting impression, your imprint on this earth after you've gone.  That's your gift.

“She was an Austin water ski icon for sure,” said family friend Dick Gilliam. “Kay was one of the most genuine and nicest people I’ve ever known.” - My Statesman.com

So, on this September 12, we think of Austin and his family because as so many of us know who have lost one or both parents, that first anniversary is especially tough.  We don't know probably even 1/100th of the extent of her impact on Austin, but we know that Austin is well-liked on his film sets, spoken of well by others, has shown admirable work habits, exhibited high respect for co-workers, and has amassed many, many friends.  These are traits of someone who was raised by caring, mindful parents who handled their life role so well, and in that sense, the apple no doubt did not fall far from the tree.

Of course a boy grows up to be a man. And, that man must make choices that will ultimately define who he is. Austin is a product of his upbringing, as well as the environment and circumstances he has chosen to identify as his home. The closet is despicable in many ways not only because of the lies that form the rock solid basis of the institution, but because of the techniques used to bury any trace of same sex narratives. Publicists and management teams will use the amoral exploitation of any event or occasion to advance their must-be-heterosexual goals, without regret or apology. Birthdays, anniversaries, special dates, whatever can be devalued and defiled is all up for grabs in their dirt bag world of heteronormativity.

One notorious example of this de-gayification practice, happened at a Lakers game in January 2009 when Jake Gyllenhaal and his second multi-year contracted beard (yes, Kirsten was fake as well) Reese Witherspoon, staged an awkward, but high profile game kiss cam moment that just happened to be spread far and wide in real time.  The goal was not merely to post several cozy pics (including one of Jake “kissing” his “girlfriend”), but to even more importantly sully the well received photos of Jake’s Lakers’ photos from his actual date with Austin Nichols, back in February 2006.  Austin is not innocent either. Because he later participated in the same demeaning exercise by being photographed courtside with his own beard, Sophia Bush, in 2011.

                Jake and Austin, Lakers Game, February 11, 2006

      Jake and Reese Witherspoon, Lakers Game, January 4, 2009
                      

            Austin and Sophia Bush, Lakers Game, May 4, 2011

Although this kind of inverse mirroring is to be expected in closetland, sometimes the level of despicableness that is reached, exceeds all expectations.  September 12^th is the first year anniversary of the passing of Austin’s beloved mother, Kay Nichols. Yet, instead of the weekend remaining quiet and respectful, or Austin using his social media in tribute, the world is met with another one of Chloe Bennet’s inane and sleazy video snapchats. A narrated description of an unidentified sick man (whom she refers to as her boyfriend) lies in the darkness on a bed, while she adds:  “I'm taking care of you, baby, all weekend in Austin, Texas.”  

Truly an unbelievable act of repugnancy. And, beyond the pale of any stunt these two dimwits have participated in over the three insipid years of their fake relationship. Whether or not Austin was actually in that video is irrelevant. The point that cannot be ignored or excused away is obvious. Even on the anniversary of his mother’s death, he allows his public image to be used to sell a fauxmance.  I know Jake is desperate for that Oscar nomination, but the lengths to which these two will go truly boggles the mind.

At this point, a quote from the Army-McCarthy Hearings delivered on June 9, 1954, can be revitalized with renewed meaning and poignancy: "Have You No Sense of Decency, Sir?"

Don't let anyone fool you. The closet is not just about maximizing profit, image management in a global economy, or a performer’s privacy. It’s about the dehumanization of others and of us for casually accepting the outrageous when the unacceptable is visible for all to see.

Written by in collaboration:  Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser

Photo Credits: Austin's Twitter,  Fitness Blog, awasouthcentral.com, IHJ

Songs:  Love Song for My Mom - by Moby
            Go West - by Pet Shop Boys