Anyone with even a casual introduction into the stunt
world of Jake Gyllenhaal is well versed in the vernacular of beverage bearding and the words that capture the moment.
Java run. Casual for coffee. Java tour. Coffee dates.
Cozy at a coffee shop. Sipping, grabbing, sharing maple lattes. Steaming up coffee shops. Matching smiles and coffee cups. Strolling, carrying, ordering,
juggling, walking, leaving, spotted, stopping for, gallivanting… The venues are
infinite and so are the words that describe the insatiable need to be caffeinated
at all times whenever paparazzi are nearby.
And, when all is said and done, words alone cannot capture the hallowed "grounds" of the Hollywood Hookup. Soooo, with cups in hand, let's see who can spot the real couple first!
Then we have the man of the hour himself. Just solo java-in':
The businesses, like the locations, are familiar. Not just because Jake is a creature of habit, but because his contract probably stipulates what specific establishments will provide those vital endorsements for the Baby Tiles et al. College Fund. Whereas the venues are chosen to reinforce whatever geographic placement Jake's management team need to sell at any given time. Hint: Wherever Austin Nichols is not supposed to be.
Blue Bottle Coffee
Cafe Lux
Cold Process
Frothy Monkey
Gorilla Coffee
Intelligentsia Coffee
La Colombe
LaMille Coffee Shop
Peet's Coffee
Urth Caffé
Beverly Hills
Brentwood
Chelsea
Silver Lake
Park Slope
Leadville
London
Los Angeles
Nashville
Ojai
San Francisco
Santa Monica
Tribeca
Soho
Venice
I know, I know. A certain someone is probably wondering where all of this talk about coffee klatches is headed. What's the matter, Jakey? Didn't you get your caffeine fix this morning?
Well, I guess not. LOL! Let's get this show on the road then.
Given the predictability of Jake's coffee rituals, it is always a surprise when he suddenly pops up somewhere brand new - and in a location that is not pre-approved. Especially, if that location is anywhere near a certain persona non grata by the name of Austin Nichols.
And where is SPoT Coffee situated? Well, their headquarters is in Toronto. But, most of their physical franchises are in the nearby Buffalo/Rochester area of New York. Not Manhattan. Not Tribeca. Not Brooklyn. Not even Bedford, where WME has been trying to sell a NY suburban bromance between Jake and his new bestie, Ryan Reynolds. In other words, if you review that coffee venue list up above, upstate NY has never been one of Jake's publicly sanctioned stomping grounds. Instead, the tweeter @maeveewilliams and the bulk of SPoT cafes are in Western, Upstate New York.
Well, lookey there. I think we can see a nearby state and city familiar to the Jake and Austin love story on that map: Jackson, Michigan.
Could it just be that after his performance on Thursday night, Jake returned to Austin and their family for whatever reason and was then making his way back to the Theater District in downtown Manhattan for an 8 p.m. Friday night performance? There are airports everywhere in the area where Jake was seen. That kind of "commute" would definitely require a caffeinated pick me up. Ah, the wonders of private jets in the age of the closet. It's amazing what a little ingenuity and planning can do. And that, my friends, is just another example of how Jake and Austin make this secret family work. Social media is a double edge sword. A malleable tool for management to manipulate at will. But, every once in a while the truth shines through, bright and clear as day. Especially, if one knows what to look for among the lies.
pic sources: Just Jared, Daily Mail, PopSugar, FanPop
Our playlist: One More Cup of Coffee - Bob Dylan
Talking Body - Tove Lo
Jackson - Johnny Cash and June Carter
You're the Cream in my Coffee - Nat King Cole Trio
Leaving on a Jet Plane - Frank Sinatra
