30 Days of Toothy Tile, Grey Goose and Baby Tile(s)
Day 1
[Prelude]: Over the next thirty days, we have decided to shake it up a bit at Narnia Dispatches, and celebrate Austin Nichols' birthday month by drum-rolling out thirty Toothy-related "finds"/observations that have been compiled throughout the years. Precious nuggets of information which began with Ted Casablanca's most famous and longstanding Blind Item about a hot, young closeted celebrity with an actor boyfriend and a hidden family. Long after Mr. Casablanca's nimble fingers ceased typing out his snarky and clever clues back in 2012, this infamous Blind Vice still remains one of the most seductive and entertaining love stories in Hollywood history. The special kind of love story that dare not speak its name, but never really ever goes away.
With this juicy teaser setting the stage for what's to come, it is only fitting that we begin Day 1 with the fondly remembered post that introduced the gossip world to Toothy Tile for the first time.
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On March 10, 2005, the following, seemingly innocuous, Blind Item appeared in Ted Casablanca's long standing gossip column, "The Awful Truth," a regularly scheduled E! Online feature. The unprecedented blurb was affectionately dubbed, "One Adorable Blind Vice":
Okay, sugar-muffins, the only reason this one's in the Vice section is because until quite recently, Toothy Tile was dating his superpopular, superannoyingly perfect girlfriend. Not boyfriend. Which, if you ask this old gossip whore, is the classification Tile would prefer his significant others be filed under in the very near future.
Mere days ago...Tile was right out in the open holding hands with his man in a West Hollywood restaurant -- which shall remain nameless -- because I love going there and they probably wouldn't serve me anymore if I start outing their customers, ca-friggin-peesh?
Not that I'd be outing anybody, anyway. Mr. Tile took care of that himself. Covertly, but he did it.
It was late in the afternoon; everybody had cleared out. Save Tile and his man-amigo, who extended his hands flat on the marble table (yes, that's a hint) until they were intertwined with Tile's. Massive smiles then appeared on both daring dudes...
And it ain't: Tobey M, Keanu Reeves, Jamie Foxx
The first question many readers pondered back then was where exactly had this low-key, but still steaming, tête-à-tête meal taken place? At first glance, the puzzle seemed to be a tough one to solve. A foodies paradise, West Hollywood was home to tons of eateries, which only complicated the matter. That is until people began to notice how many of the clues seemed to point to another article Ted had published just 7 days earlier. A post about one of the most promising young actors in Tinsel Town:
March 3, 2005
Jake Gyllenhaal, grabbin' some Cali-esque grub at Basix Café. Boys Town. Gabbing fer days with a guy-pal, Jake-poo, decked out in a white sweatshirt hoodie and jeans, covered up his buzzed noggin with a red baseball cap. The sensitive hunks lingered on fer over an hour, smiling, exchanging childhood stories--with a bit of misty-eyed emotion even? Hey, take it up with my WeHo Desk, 'kay?
Basix Cafe? Located in West Hollywood. Where there just so happens to be marble tables.
Aaaah yes, I see what he was talking about...
An outside view of the now-closed Basix Cafe.
As for the sentence, "extended his hands flat on the marble table (yes, that's a hint) until they were intertwined with Tile's"..... M&M figured out years ago that this two-handed reference cleverly translated to five digits for each hand. Five = nickel. Make sure to add an "s" because there were two hands extended and the word is suddenly pluralized to nickels. Or, in Austin's particular case, Nichols. Get it? An actual homophone to complement the wily "Boys Town" reference. Ah, those were some fun times.
Although Ted's most popular Blind Vice endured for over seven years, Jake Gyllenhaal had already become the most popular guess for Toothy Tile by the end of 2005. A not surprising feat either, since Jake most definitely was known at the time for his familiar and dazzling toothsome grin. On top of that dead giveaway, his high profile, closeted role of Jack Twist in the critically acclaimed, Brokeback Mountain, was thought to be a telltale sign as well.
The much more mysterious "man-amigo" who had been paired with Jake that day was later assigned the descriptive moniker of Gray Goose, i.e., Austin Nichols. Besides the two-handed clue that had been used in the original Blind to spell out Nichols, it was well known that Austin's father had named his son "Austin" after the Austin Nichols Distillery, which produced Wild Turkey. In fact, the spirits' packaging, at the time, displayed the nomenclature prominently on the front label: Austin Nichols. True to his special brand of subtle snark and his clever use of words, Ted came up with another popular liquor to refer to Toothy's boyfriend. Instead of Kentucky "Straight" Bourbon, Austin was transformed into Grey "Gay As A" Goose, Vodka. And the rest, as they say, is history.
collaboration: M&M and PG
pic sources: Yelp
our playlist: Beginnings - Chicago
I Want You So Bad - Heart
The Beginning - Nikos Ignatiadis
