Monday, July 27, 2020

Sunday into Monday Musings: Round II of The Summer of Jake and Austin - The Struggle is Real


The Marketing Tactics of Today's Athletes:

What does a publicist do when a star athlete needs to represent his sport at a big charity event and he wants to join along with a teammate while he's at it?

Well, if you're the star athlete's marketing/social media team, you get TMZ on speed dial and drag along those who are willing to show the world "what the athletes are getting".  The big charity event was the American Century Celebrity Gold Championship and it was held July 8 through the 12th.  From the very start, QB1 Patrick Mahomes and tight end Travis Kelce were repeatedly shown they had guests along. This was not going to be a "guys' trip". And Harvey Levin's sleaze site TMZ was used every single time to let everyone know.

Taking off for Lake Tahoe.


Pre-match boating activities on the lake.


Evening entertainment at the local casino, some with masks, some without.


The tournament came right after Patrick had signed his huge contract extension with the KC Chiefs and those money bags needed to be brought up repeatedly, as did lots of skin by the...girls.  Didn't you know?  These guys are getting "plenty" of "this".


I think Patrick's now-famous face accounts for 1/1000% of the content of that photo.  Isn't he the star in that photo???  Just askin'.

And so then the other one needed to compete in the Battle of Biggest Wedgie:


We can't help but wonder at the lack of social distancing exhibited.  Let's face it, how can you be up in arms about the safety precautions taken during the season, when you can't observe social distancing and mask wearing on personal time?



Covid-19 pandemic?  What pandemic? 

Considering Patrick had just signed his mega, half-billion dollar deal, the odds must be good that all of these folks would have been tested before this trip.  And with that kind of investment, the KC Chiefs are not going to have one of their players catching the 'Rona due to a wedgie boat outing.   😉

Not only that, but who couldn't tell the entire weekend's agenda wasn't planned out ahead of time? Marketer Dahl had a schedule and it was carried out; they knew who would be on the trip.  Still, not everyone thinks of that and so some fans are thinking, 'why should I wear a mask or social distance? They're not.'   Just something to think about.

Interesting too, isn't it?  You don't hear or see much about the wives or gf's of other players.  Chiefs fans used to see Jennifer Montana (wife of Joe) once in awhile up in the suite during games.  Once in awhile, the wives/gf's used to be seen in a commercial spot promoting a donation project.  But who knew or recognized any of the other players' wives/gf's?  With these two players, Matthews & Nicole are front and center, mostly undressed.

Even in this Madden 99 box presentation by Travis to his QB Patrick, look at who needs to be seen entering the room first, ahead of the star player.  Remember, this is for a video game award and this promo video isn't even one minute long, yet it's important for everyone to see Matthews.


This is what was choreographed, er - determined, you "needed" to see, before Patrick was presented with and opened up his Madden box.


I don't know...

 









Now, let's add a late addendum to this tale.  Last night, Jul 26, Houston Astros Cy Young Award winning pitcher Justin Verlander began trending because he developed a sore elbow.


Guess who else begins trending as well?  His wife, who is Kate Upton.  Because a pro athlete is injured, his wife trends?  Well, if she's a Sports Illustrated cover girl, she does.  Lots of tweets like this.


Isn't that interesting when an elbow injury is enough to bring on twitter trend reminders about who your spouse is?  And so looking back at how Matthews and Nicole are being used on social media in an unavoidable fashion, the tactic is similar and should make people wonder why, when the athletes are all so exceptional in talent.

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In the Narnia "Swiiiiiiing and a Miss" category, looks like I goofed when it came to our Father's Day post of our faves with their fathers.  I guess this oversight occurred because I was searching for "Kevin and his father", but I should've searched for "Kevin and his mother"; then, I would've found this picture of him and his father! Duh!  And here is the gorgeous Kevin McHale with his mother and father; you can certainly see some of their inherited features in his face.  Wonderful picture from this past May!!  My apologies I whiffed and did not get this pic included in our Father's Day post.


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And since we last posted, guess who we heard from? 


Looks like Austy told Jakers, "I'll be in the study!" and he shut that door for some "me" time.  But you know how that goes if you're a parent.  Whether it's Tool Time, Me Time or Bathroom Break Time,


LOL!  Good luck with that one, Austin.

Austin pulled out that DGA card and made up some hours.  His presence in the audience was appreciated.

















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And speaking of parenting, remember in our March 11 post, Winter/Spring 2020 Musings: Bringing Back Jake and Austin, Pt 4 of 5, we had mentioned that Michelle Williams had pulled a 2-for-1, she was suddenly pregnant AND engaged to Thomas Kail, Lin-Manuel Miranda's close friend and work partner.  So, she predictably disappeared (i.e. the London GPS placement) and then in June, came this vague announcement,




















And as everyone knows, when a proud papa comes into the office or factory, he tells everyone "We had our baby!"  But he can't disclose any other details?  "Nope, don't ask anymore questions, please.  Just know that we had our baby."  Riiight.  That's not going to pass muster at the workplace, or amongst friends.  Or, those proud phone calls to the family.  Everyone wants some details when it comes to the birth of a baby; that's why you make the announcement, right?  Then you can show pictures and disclose the weight, length, head circumference, etc. You know, every last little detail. Except for 2019-2020 Hollywood and going forward, this is what we now get:

"There's no news about the gender or name of the baby, at the moment."

Even People.com didn't know.


"Child".  "The Baby".  One website seemed to be daring enough to publish that "the baby" was a girl.  So does this mean that later on, US Weekly or People will have the exclusive cover story and "first pictures" at a time to be determined, when either Williams or more likely, Thomas Kail needs the extra promo?

Remember that Thomas Kail is the writing partner of Lin-Manuel Miranda and their joint effort of "Hamilton", just recently debuted on Disney Plus's streaming service, bringing the network a huge boost in new customers.  The venture was a success and now Disney is rumored to be entertaining the idea of bringing the Broadway version of Aladdin to Disney Plus.  So Miranda and Kail's profiles have been raised even more than they already were. 

It will be interesting to continue watching this out-of-the-blue pairing of Williams and Kail, one that has the overwhelming appearance of being mutually benefiting.  

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And courtesy of Cartier, we have a new throwback photo from Jake with another person who is identified as his father Stephen in the caption (hence the bizarre photoshopped Pittsburgh Pirates ballcap atop of another ballcap).  No doubt this is fetus Jakers in the foreground though!  #Awww 




One look at Jake's social media, and one can see how his social media team is struggling to compensate for his and Austin's absence (brought on by the restrictions due to COVID-19).  Remember, he was going to have Sunday in the Park With George to provide the perfect reason for him and the fam to be in the UK all summer.  With the play being totally cancelled, the alibi is gone, plus there are some British pounds not going into the bank account, which probably hurts a bit.

Despite this, both men are likely having fun building sand castles with their own "crew".  😉   Enjoy, fellas!

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Coming up next, we've got a Narnia Salute for Mr. Liam Payne, congratulating him on his very impressive and entertaining LP Show, which streamed live on July 17.  It was likely inspired (and perhaps test-run?) by the success of his You Tube shows, but the LP Show did benefit food banks through The Tussle Trust, and tickets were very affordable.  In ADDITION to this, Liam utilized a band and stage engineers, sound workers, etc., employees who have suffered from lack of work due to the COVID-19 pandemic.  So huge applause and salutes to Liam!!


Liam referred to this unique streaming show as "Act I", so hopefully there will be an Act II.   His set list included:

1.  Strip That Down (feat. Quavo)
2.  Bedroom Floor
3.  Live Forever
4.  Tell Your Friends
5.  Home With You
6.  For You
7.  Little Things
8.  Midnight
9.  Familiar
10.  Polaroid


Here he was checking the streaming messages:


Singing and dancing.










We hope there will be an encore, but in the meantime, he is to be commended and admired for this successful venture.

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What about Adam Lambert also putting the positive "P" in performance for this car-dragging of a year, 2020?  Here's Adam as he was participating in a fundraiser for Democratic presidential candidate, Joe Biden.  The fundraiser, called Celebration for Change, was live streamed on Facebook last night, July 26.  Adam sang Ready to Run, whose lyrics seemed pretty boot kickin'!  Huge thanks to Adam for lending his voice and support.

Boots on the ground
Had enough of this clown, no
I won't stay 'round
Catch a bus, Greyhound
No, I'm not gawkin' back
Turn around, it's a trap - "Ready to Run" - lyrics by Adam Lambert




And that's what we've got for this round, little bit of this, little bit of that.  Even with the restrictions of a pandemic, there can be some noteworthy observations. Have a great week and thank you for reading.

pic sources:  liam 93 productions, Just Jared, newnownext, pinterest
our playlist: Ready to Run - Adam Lambert
                    Polaroid - Jonas Blue, Liam Payne and Alesso
                    Sand in My Shoes - Dido


Thursday, July 23, 2020

We Interrupt Our Sunday Musings for This #10YearsOfOneDirection Salute - July 23 2020

                                                                                                                                


I know, I know, we're right in the middle of our Sunday Musings, but this day is bigger than any Musings.  We've gotta stop.

July 23, 2010



• a "baker"
• a music technology college student
• a self-taught guitarist and student
• a student who planned to teach English
• a waiter, cinema worker and acting student

were grouped together in a show called X-Factor in the United Kingdom and placed third.   But they really won it all and went on to become a juggernaut singing group - the biggest boy band ever across the entire world.





2011:


2012



2013 at the Brit Awards


2014 at the American Music Awards


2015 without Zayn


2015 returning to X-Factor where it all began, before the Hiatus from Hell


Between 2015 and 2020, each band member has successfully released their own music,

Zayn Malik - collaborations, two albums
Louis Tomlinson - producer, collaborations and one album
Liam Payne - collaborations, EP, one album and fashion line with
                       Hugo
Niall Horan - two albums, international solo tour
Harry Styles - two albums, international solo tour, acting role in
                       movie Dunkirk

All five young men have been involved in charitable causes, appeared on late night talk shows and remained highly popular with their fans.

It is because of their humble self-awareness and engaging personalities, that each member of One Direction has maintained a strong following, despite a five-year absence which has been torpedo'ed with forced melodrama and offspring which are not theirs.  They have endured devastating personal loss, lack of promotion from their own record companies, and verbal/psychological abuse by individuals on social media whether real or public relation team interns.

But together, all five men have risen above it all, still adored by legions of some of the most loyal, dedicated, loving and talented fans ever.  They could not stand where they are today without these hundreds of thousands of fans and it is a true testament to their maintained integrity and inspiration.

Narnia Dispatches is truly touched and honored to be fans of Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson.  We salute each one of you and extend our best wishes for much continued success, and hope for freedom and extended happiness.

Congratulations on this momentous day.  We can't wait until we see you reunited once again, whenever that will be.










pic sources:  pinterest, Daily Fail
our playlist:  Best Song Ever (Live) - One Direction
                     Teenage Dirt Bag (Live) - One Direction
                     Fireproof - One Direction
                     Once in a Lifetime - One Direction
                     Where Do Broken Hearts Go (Live on X-Factor) - One
                         Direction
                      Don't Forget Where You Belong - One Direction


Sunday, July 19, 2020

Sunday Musings: Round II - The Summer of Jake and Austin



Aaaah yes, here we are in 2020 in the middle of a global pandemic, 409 Cleaner absolutely nowhere to be found, Zoom Happy Hours are the new hang-out and Narnia readers ask, "But dónde están Jaustin?"

Well, but for a few brief, closely shot videos of Jake in what could perhaps be a storage room on the grounds of the Gyllynichols Hacienda,  we've not seen hide nor hair of either him or his better half.  Just for reference purposes, let's remind ourselves what our OTP looks like!


and the hubs, Austin.  *digs deeper into photo archives*


(That above photo was from the TCA's photoshoot from last year to promote AMC's This Close)

There they are!!!  In all their glory. 

Let us pause a moment to reflect and recall the good times.












😉 


Even though we at Narnia have now become quite accustomed to the Gyllynichols disappearing acts, it never ceases to befuddle when we observe the MO of Jake's publicist and her social media team as they cover for his hiatuses.  And pandemic 2020 wouldn't really be any different, just some slight variations.

• If one looks at Jake's Instagram search, you have to search for him amongst all of the other celebrities in his search:  Chris Evans, Henry Cavill, Ryan Gosling, Anne Hathaway, Chris Hemsworth, and most of all, his sidecar Tom Holland.  This is the huge wasteland that is Instagram:  you search for "Jake Gyllenhaal" to see pictures of Jake, but you get tons of pictures of Holland and/or his brothers, and others of Chris Evans, Zendaya, and Captain America shields. 



I'm not seeing too much of a chance for a Jakers Hollywood Squares Tic-Tac-Toe, are you?  Maybe a Marvel Tic-Tac-Toe, lol.   And this would most likely be because Jake doesn't have a lot of content that he can share with his fans unless he's actively working (which he hasn't been for awhile) or interviewing from the basement. 

Now here below, we have a stunt kitchen (with a couch?), again devoid of any decor - no signs of those Banksy's that Jake's supposed to have!  ;-)


And the latest video did have Jake bringing "Leo" out of mothballs.  Here he is doing his best Lin Manuel Miranda impression as he shares a video with his long lost pooch. Guess he couldn't get Leo in the same frame with him:




































Another recent social media exhibit has Jake bringing up a toast that allegedly was made two years ago at a wedding he never quite convinced he was actually in attendance. [See our post Poor Jake: Always a Guest, Never a Groom.] So to dig a deeper credibility hole, here's Jake proceeding to inform everyone of his longtime childhood friend Chris Fisher's state of sheathing...


After allllllllll these years, and a plentiful history of pap pictures and stories about Chef Fisher (and then the disappearance-of right around the time of the arrival of WME/Endeavor), AND two years after said toast,


suddenly Jake feels the need to tell the world about his bud's...you know.

Here was Jake following publicist Mara and her social media team to the bottom of the barrel to come up with this kind of filler content.
















lol. *wink*  And of course, a byproduct of that tweet, besides providing some kind of "proof" that Jake attended the so-called wedding, was this kind of reaction.



After all these years.   What makes the usage of Chris Fisher in this way so interesting is that since Jake joined WME, his team did everything to erase Fisher from his public circle.  They couldn't get Jake away from Fisher fast enough, why?  Well, because there were blurbs like this one:

Former Hollywood publicist Jonathan Jaxson says that Jake Gyllenhaal is planning to come out sometime by the end of next month.  Jake is reportedly ready to come out because he and his boyfriend of several years (rumored to be actor Austin Nichols or Chef Chris Fisher) are expecting a baby in September.  -  2007 gossip rocks

And so Jake was simply not seen with Fisher for years.  For years.  Until Amy Schumer needed a merkin and now he's on Just Jared, on Instagram, on television in Fischer/Schumer's cooking show, on People...and now Page Six as everyone reads about Jake's "intimate" toast.  And Jake and his team can't stop wink*wink*nudge*nudge spreading the reveal enough.  Yet another demonstration of how small Jake's circle of willing enablers has become.

And the latest social media filler has been and will continue to be the release of The Devil All The Time, which will air on Netflix on September 16.  It stars Tom Holland, Sebastian Stan, Jason Clarke, Robert Pattinson, and others.  Pretty starlit cast, eh?  And Nine Stories (i.e. Jake) is a producer, so now there are tweets touting his new, non-acting role.


So this likely explains Holland tossing out a Milkbone to Gyllenholland stans:


And Austin?


We're really not quite sure where Austin is supposed to be.  LOL!!  Let's just say that Narnia is pretty sure he's either in the water, or he's near it. 

We'll leave the guys alone now.  They're living their life and that's a great thing.

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Narnia wishes to extend our BIGGEST Happy Birthday Wishes to who is 38 years old today?  This big guy right here - Mr. Jared Padalecki.  You are but a mere pup, Mr. Jared.  Hang onto those 30's for all you're worth.  You look fantastic-o.




























And you can't have a Happy Birthday pictorial without the Blue Steel!


lol.  He cracks me up when he used to do that.   Happiest of days, Jared.  And just so that we remember when an OTP is involved, birthday and holiday greetings don't come without garlic necklaces. We're thankful Jensen was allowed to post a birthday greeting today.  But we could've done without the obligatory "haven't seen you in a long time" message and the separators, i.e., chaperones.


Aah well, to be expected!  We know that Jared, Jensen and the fam are having fun today around that big dining room table.  Kids love to sing Happy Birthday.  😊🎂

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Well now, Part I was all kinds of domesticated, wasn't it?   Part II not so much.   Thank you for tuning in!  Stay tuned for Part II tomorrow or Tuesday.   

pic sources:  rebloggy, Entertainment Weekly,Get Real Post
                     gfycat
our playlist:  Summer Love - One Direction
                     I'll Remember - Madonna
                     Suddenly, Last Summer - The Motels