Since early December last year, Jake Gyllenhaal's social media team has been trying to plant him in New York City with Christmas Carol singing, Happy Birthday to Me singing, Happy Birthday to Amy Schumer dinner, walking around and around and around in SoHo.
The Critics Choice Awards took place on January 11, and though this was the only major award event where he was nominated, Jake did not attend their ceremony. Nor did he attend the Palm Springs Film Festival with Tatiana Maslany to help promote the film Stronger, where it was shown two days earlier on the 9th.
He did attend the Sundance Film Festival on Saturday, January 20th, yet as we observed in" Jake Gyllenhaal leaving Sundance 2018 With Everything But the Money Shot ", it appeared that his time spent at the film event was brief at best. He was in and he was out. And if Narnia didn't know any better....well, we won't go there, let's put it that way.
On February 10, Jake was allegedly seen in London. What? You mean, you're not sure this is him having a sip of tea?
Excuse Narnia while we try to post that picture with the straightest of face.
On Tuesday, February 13, Calvin Klein held its fashion show in the Big Apple as part of NY Fashion Week. After last year's July visit/ bro-fest at Raf Simons' NY Fashion Show (the one with the umbrellas and rainboots), which turned out to be a prelude before Jake's own Calvin Klein splashy "campaign", what a surprise it was to see Jake hopping on a plane out of NYC faster than you could blink an eye.
— Olli Haaskivi (@olliahaaskivi) February 13, 2018
Whaaaaa? Jake miss the Calvin Klein show? But Margot Robbie was there!!! Didn't it also seem as though fashion shows were becoming a new thing for he and his sister? After all, he was attending several last year, right? And again - Margot Robbie. Plus, that whole New Face of Calvin Klein campaign! But wait. Now, guess who else was there? In fact, she was on the runway...
Liya Kebede and Irina Shnitman for Calvin Klein Fall/Winter 2018 New York « Iconic Management https://t.co/oC60t9xQKR— ICONIC MGMT (@ICONIC_MGMT) February 15, 2018
Well, well, well, well.
Must have been something significant to keep him from attending the show and a chance to catch up with his Calvin Klein campaign co-star, Liya Kebede?
But of course, who saw this coming, especially when their engagement was just barely announced Feb 12 (using the vehicle of Ellen DeGeneres' 60th birthday party to do the reveal)
Yup, that's who you think it is. Quiet, unassuming Chris Fischer - you know, childhood Martha's Vineyard friend of Jake Gyllenhaal. So often seen with Jake in his earlier NY years when the pictures were too numerous to count and the rumors about Jake and Austin were as hot as could be. Has Chris been seen with Jake since the Witherspoon fauxmance years? Not very often. But then, when you have the
Aaah yes, ring a bell, Jake Old-Timers? :-) So back to our present year of 2018, imagine the sound of our gasps when we saw that these two lovebirds couldn't even wait until Austin's birthday in April to occupy Jake with a wedding ceremony to attend.
The news hit the feeds of CNN, People, US Weekly, E Online, Vogue and USA Today, which is an indication that their teams wanted to reach a few more folks than merely Just Jared readers and Instagram followers. ;-) And for the many who didn't know who Chris Fischer was, the likes of Just Jared and People.com were there to help. This story was seen on several sites, 5 Things To Know About Amy Schumer's New Husband (apparently everything happened so fast, Just Jared didn't have time to dig into their photo files for a different side-by-side):
So where does our fave guy, Mr. Jake figure into all of this? Well, it sounds like he was on the guest list. Does it sound like he was the Best Man? Well, looking at this alleged seat position, it doesn't look like it. Thanks to this Instagram account holder for showing the way with this high-vis yellow arrow:
Okay, then.....Well, a bit hard to tell, isn't it? Let's see if we can round up another photo of our guy, maybe one with his face.
Let's be clear, when a poster needs yellow and turquoise high-visibility arrows to point to Jake Gyllenhaal, that's not a good sign. Oh, wait! You mean there IS a good, clear picture? Hold on! Well, lookee here.
We're minus the bride, but we can't have too high of expectations, I reckon.Jake Gyllenhaal at Amy Schumer and Chris Fischer's wedding in Malibu on Tuesday. (https://t.co/h0v77zbIey) pic.twitter.com/mrLHs0BpLf— Jake Gyllenhaal (@JakeG_Online) February 15, 2018
So Mr. Fischer is married™, biting the big one before his childhood beach buddy Jake is able to. Hopefully, he got over this obvious set of nerves,
Amy Schumer Marries Boyfriend Chris Fischer After Just Months Of Dating - Go To >>> https://t.co/Y7u5Isxl8w #women #fashions #shop #deals #cute pic.twitter.com/NLDRu8IfQZ— SoCutsy (@SoCutsy) February 18, 2018
07 11 20: Well, well, well. Yet ANOTHER deleted tweet. Let's try another, shall we?
Hard not to notice that dead man walking expression on Chris' face, don't you think? It is interesting that the twosome progression of Chris Fischer and Amy Schumer was rushed along through the public lens faster than Apollo Ohno on ice. Within months, the odd couple went from a dark, grainy dinner photo to a birthday party à la Instagram in December, to engaged on Feb 11, and married two days later, the day before Valentine's Day! A wedding which happened so quickly, it looks like there wasn't even time to line up an official. From Page Six:
Rather
than be joined together in holy matrimony by a religious figure, Schumer chose
actor-comedian John Early dressed in drag as his character Vicky, who appears
on the Netflix series “The Characters,” Page Six has learned.
During
the ceremony, Early — who also had a notable role on Netflix’s “Wet Hot
American Summer” series — donned a sash that read “Reverend Vicky” over a pair
of blue jeans and a button-down.
- Page Six link to source
And where was the wedding taking place?
The Blast reported that the pair rented a private home along
the scenic coastal enclave to exchange their vows. - The Knot News
Other sources would be much more specific and mention that the wedding took place at a "private residence" in Malibu, California, somewhere we know both Jake and Austin are quite familiar with. And, since Jake apparently vanished again right after the "I do's", we might need that high-vis yellow arrow to find him again. That is until the next stunt drops him into another "public" moment to date stamp his existence.
collaborated: PG and M&M
pic sources: nurseanonymous, WWD.com, Zimbio, Giphy
our playlist: Chapel of Love - The Dixie Cups
She's in Love With the Boy - Trisha Yearwood
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do - ABBA
Dear Valentine - Guster
She's in Love With the Boy - Trisha Yearwood
I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do - ABBA
Dear Valentine - Guster
8 comments:
There was more subterfuge with this wedding than there were rose petals. Like I said in the post, when you have to point out where Jake is in the pictures of the wedding itself (I'm not talking about a posed pic with oceanfront background which could have been taken at another time), and they aren't clear pictures at that? I'm sorry.
Jake was not at this wedding. That is likely his & Austin's property we see where the wedding took place, but he wasn't there. I don't think the Gyllynichols family has been in this country for who knows how long. They're hiding out.
And why has there been Jake-Not-Working since last fall? Well, that'll be a post for another day.
Could not believe it either when we discovered today that Liya Kebede was at that CK Fashion show, and actually several other shows during NYFW. Why would you not send Jake to that particular fashion show where his commercial co-star was? That is a pretty darn big mess-up. It was a by-chance that I happened to come across an article that hinted she was one of the CK models.
What a huge heads up that the campaign was a one-shot event, not a "campaign". One commercial does not make a campaign.
So you have Jake rushing off to LA so as to give a reason for him not being able to attend the fashion show, right?
And yet, I don't see indisputable proof (other than People.com saying he was there and that's not near enough notarization for me) that Jake was at the wedding that he's said to be at. Fuzzy pictures and back of the head shots? And Chris Fischer doesn't have him stand up for him? No best man? No matron of honor? Not to mention a wedding said to be thrown together so fast, family members couldn't even all be there because there just wasn't enough notice. And held on a weekday?!
Who's buying this whole story? What a crazy show.
What's not clear yet, is who needs this "marriage"? I don't even buy that they're really married. They use a comedian to officiate?
Is Schumer needing this for some reason? Chris Fischer has flown under the radar all his life - he doesn't need it. No one is paying any attention to him. Even Jake is seen publicly with him hardly any more.
It's just not clear yet.
Posted on another blog:
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Yes. He would visit Chris at Martha’s Vineyard and they have cooked together. Chris also used to date Jake’s other best friend, Greta!
February 16, 2018 at 4:37 PM
Anonymous Really? said...
How do you know Chris and Greta dated?
February 16, 2018 at 4:44 PM
Anonymous Anonymous said...
I read it in a interview Chris did about his farm and restaurant.
February 16, 2018 at 6:03 PM
Sooooooo, you know when someone says they saw it in an interview, I've got to see if I can find something. Check it out. Oh my dog.
The next stop is the family farm at Beetlebung Corner, for fresh vegetables. Founded by his grandfather, Ollie Fischer Jr., who is in his nineties and can still be found tending his vegetable gardens on any given afternoon, Beetlebung Farm has been in the family for 40 years. Ollie’s daughter, Marie Scott, maintains gardens and a farm stand on the property, and Chris himself also keeps several gardens there, where with the help of his girlfriend, dark-eyed Greta Caruso, he harvests cabbage, kale, peas, fava beans and potatoes for sale and for his cooking.
From The Vineyard Gazette
LOL!! What in the hell?
Why would a chef need a beard? Why would an actor's daughter need a merkin?
This whole thing is just bizarre as heck and only continues to become more weird. I've seen too many comments on a few other stories from people who know that Caruso is also in the closet. And it makes sense, right? Knowing Jake's patterns with whatever female he is pretending to have something going with. But it's perplexing to me to see that Fischer thought he too needed to beard.
I didn't realize the cooking industry was tough in that way?
Okay, I'm an idiot. I was just told that probably it was because of Jake. I forgot that for awhile, Fischer was thought to be Jake's bf because they were seen together so often. #facepalm I forgot.
Okay, enough of that analyzation. Makes sense now.
This whole Fischer and Schumer "hookup" is bizarre on so many levels. She does have a movie coming up that was supposed to be released in late June and then suddenly was pushed up to April. There really are no valid reasons given for this shift other than the preview got both positive and negative reactions. So what? All movies have positive and negative reviews. The date for the movie release is now set for April 27, suspiciously close to Austin's birthday. So who knows. Jake used Marcus Mumford three years in a row to give an alibi during Austin's birthday until he was called out on it on Oh My Godot, then suddenly it stopped. Maybe the reintroduction of Fischer into his "public" life is a way of providing Jake with another accomplice for his closet?
Some people may not know this, but Jake's old friends, Michelle Williams and Busy Philipps are both in this upcoming Schumer film too. Remember Jake's inner circle is very small. There's definitely something going on that benefits Jake too. Fischer is a chef so he hardly needs a beard. But, Schumer is almost 37 years old. Never married. I suspect she may be lesbian so she needed a more mainstream image change. Jake helped to legitimize the bizarre "courtship" and "romance" of Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford. He could be doing this again with Schumer and Fisher.
Just a fun aside. Several years ago, in 2013, one of my local entertainment guys spoke about how weird the whole Mulligan and Mumford marriage was. He said when he was down in LA for promo related to "The Great Gatsby" he was literally instructed to never mention Mumford around Mulligan and vice versa. He was then told that the topic was completely off limits. The entertainment reporter went on to say that he got the distinct impression that they didn't particularly even like each other. Basically, telling his colleagues at the morning show desk that it was the first and only time this had ever happened to him. He's been in the business for over 20 years.
I love the whole fashion show ramp up from last year with Jake and his accomplice, Big Sis. Remember Maggie was suddenly placed at Paris fashion week in October, during the whole virile rollout of Jake and his multiracial family advertisement/video. Jake was suddenly all about the fashion world and being picture with African American celebrities as a way of making that huge CK ad release on October 19th look organic. LOLLLL! Remember how the marketing kept referring to this being part of an extended campaign. Yet, month after month, no more promo. No more fashion shows, no more Jake and family chatter on the Internet. Instead, Jake suddenly removed himself from the fashion world completely. No more talk about him wanting to be a daddy. He just disappears for months and months until a cameo quick appearance at Sundance and then recently that hinky "attendance" at Schumer and Fischer's rapid fire "nuptials". Nothing to see here. *winky face*
Post a Comment