Okay well, it's Back to School time, kids! 😄 Back to the books, the alarm clock, and the whole routine. For parents, it's those phone calls while you're at work once the kids get home, and settling sibling arguments.
And this month, it seems for us at Narnia, back to nonsense!
A few of Narnia's fave pairs have families and have been trying to divert attention away from the fact they've been enjoying summer vacations.
But mid-August means the end of that, and time to get back into those routines.
Believe it or not, Jakers and Austin still have at least ONE in school (BabyT Congras), if not several more. Their offspring are no longer at that preschool/elementary school stage anymore (well, unless SXSW2024 Sushi Lunch 2.0 is an indication of something different! 😱)
It was predictable therefore to see Jake (or very probably, his image) "canoodling and packing on the PDA" (to borrow Just Jared's telltale wording!) with beard Jeanne Cadieu at the Olivia Dean concert, Madison Square Garden. Thus, placing Jakers strategically in New York City, far, far, far away from his SO Austin, who had been in Ireland, but posted that he was soon headed "home".
We're not wasting Narnia space on yet another alleged "stepping out" by Jake and Morticia. If you'd like to see a tweet of the hinky looking video, here you go, brought to everyone by ol' "@Goldenhaall". The fact that the source is "Goldenhaall" is, right off the bat, Strike One against the count of validity. ⚾
Narnia extends Happy Birthday greetings to Baby Tile Leadville and perhaps a "Welcome Home" to the Gyllynichols Fam if they have indeed pulled up stateside and piled into their Family Shuttle, headed to wherever it is they're setting up camp. 😂 Whether they're really in the States or still across the pond, summer vacation is over, kids! 😊📘📐🏫🚌
Seems a shame to talk about Jake and Austin without any kind of photo. So let's show an oldie but goodie.
🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌🚌
And seems like ever since Jared Padalecki's meard Anson Gordon was mentioned in Narnia's post, "Sunday Musings: It's a Summer of Travis Kelce and Stale Bread" on August 2, those two have knocked themselves out silly promoting a brand new, conjured-up project: a viewing party for "Supernatural" because apparently, Gordon has never seen that show. LOL! You can't make this stuff up.
So it is looking like perhaps the unconditioned, static-y, just-took-the-beanie-off look is the new "beanie". Gotta have Jared looking like a wild man now. So he can be without the beanie, but the hair's gotta look Friday the 13th. Don't worry, we're keeping up with you, TPTB. 😉
And for those stans, I mean fans who want to go off about being "mean"; no, you look. This can be Jared:
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| 2021, for Walker promo |
Here he was again with "his boy", Gordon (Jensen was probably super excited over that one! 😏),
Days before, Jared's twitter account was used by his people to make him look clueless with regard to Perez Hilton. His people have set a long-time precedent of using his twitter account to establish and enforce narratives, incidents that Narnia has documented over the years. His team loves to make him look clueless, insensitive, an ogre, and/or a victim.
Anyway, we're not going to show the "supportive" tweet which was followed by "I didn't know, I had no idea his history!", followed by the lengthy "tweet correction and apology", along with examples of fandom attacking and apologists. It's the usual old hat, but mostly due to the sensitive subject matter, there just is no need to give them cyber space. We've seen this rerun before.
To use Hilton's breakdown episode to 1) manipulate his fandom and 2) enforce the 2015 originated narrative of Jared's own alleged struggles, shows once again how sensitivity is not a visible quality of these pr teams.
Plus, his team has used Perez Hilton before to help sell a narrative or two in the past.
Oh look, Perez wrote in the past about the "very bad car accident" which involved the meard, Anson Gordon, who had tried to insinuate that he had also been in that same "accident", but just couldn't fully commit. 😒 Narnia wrote all about this "very bad car accident" in May 2022, in our post "Monday Musings Pt 1: Let's Hear It For the Boys Misha Collins, Jensen Ackles, and Jared Padalecki (By Default)".
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| 2022 |
Boy, does that give the flashbacks. 😰
And taking a quick glance at the online written activity regarding Jared's twitter account and the Perez Hilton incident, we see a red flag pattern that's become quite familiar to readers of Narnia:
"Poor" Jared.
• Had to "apologize".
• Had to "delete".
• "Backlash"
• "Explains Why"
See those negative words in the subject lines? Signs this was yet another stunt.
For those readers who are unaware, Jared is a former high school debater who once thought of becoming an engineer. He has those kinds of smarts. And so these repetitive bouts of "poor Jared" are what? Month old, stale bread.
Narnia knows he's fully capable of that Sara Lee fresh-from-the-store quality! 💪 🍞
🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊🥊
Last week, Travis Kelce joined the ranks of contract-driven, similar performances.
First of all, following his training camp post-practice presser, when he sent "Tayvis" fans tweet-squeeing over his use of the word "my wife". 😴
Narnia would refer to this as Bearding 101.
Back in 2009, Jakers set off the car alarms when he used the phrase "my girlfriend" to refer to Reese Witherspoon at a press conference for his movie, "Brothers". At that time, it was significant for Jake to do.
Jake Gyllenhaal called Reese his “girlfriend” at a press conference for Brothers. According to People Magazine, Jake said: “I’ve learned so much from the kids in my life, and somehow they just become the center of your life and the way you look at things. Obviously I exist in my girlfriend’s world and my sister’s world in a different way, but it’s opened my heart and I feel much more grown up and want to be grown up as a result of it.” - Grazia Australia via People via hollyscoop via OhNoTheyDidnt, Dec 05, 2009
Of course, what's kind of amusing is that less than two weeks later would come word that Jakers and Witherspoon had "broken up".
And who can forget, in March 2017, when an airport stunt was performed, all so that Louis could be documented as saying "my girlfriend". By the way, everyone knows, the phrase is, "me girlfriend". Get it right, tabloids. I mean if you've been tasked with spreading PR narratives at least be accurate in the fabrication.
[American Airlines representative] Robinson said she observed Tomlinson placed himself between Larsen and Calder. Robinson said she observed Tomlinson place his right hand on Larsen's shoulder and stated 'please stop taking pictures of my girlfriend.'' - Daily Mail, March 10, 2017
Copy of a copy of a copy, right?
And second of all, a wedding ring worn on the field at the Rams pre-season game? For the cameras? smh
Well, let's wrap this one up as it was all full of shenanigans, wasn't it?
This was very nice to see. Travis with DeJuan Bonds at the Purple Label Barber Shop (I massively apologize for not knowing the other gentleman! I'm mud. If someone wants to let Narnia know, please do so, in order that he can be credited.). This Instagram story photo may've been taken on Saturday, August 8 of this year as it was posted that evening.
On the 4th of this month, Austin posted an old photo of the family dog, I mean his dog Otis. These are great.
We're speechless!
And speaking of speechless, here was Louis in St Louis in June, looking and sounding terrific.
Louis has the charm, doesn't he? He was proud of Team UK as he should be. Team Narnia was pulling for them in the World Cup!
And ending with some Johnny Gage and Roy Desoto,
Caption this:
LOL! Look at them.
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| "You know, you're really too much." - Roy DeSoto |
Okay, well that's all we've got. This needs to go to press before it's not Monday anymore! What a disaster. 😅
Pic sources: FETV, tenor, giphy, WorldTomlinson twitter, IHeartJake, People.com,
Facebook, spnfangirl15, Alloy, screencaps51, Perez Hilton
our playlist: Poor, Poor Pitiful Me - Linda Rondstadt
Bad Time - Grand Funk Railroad
Hurt Me Bad (In a Real Good Way) - Patty Loveless
Suddenly Last Summer - The Motels
