When Everyone Knows Baby Tile's Birthday, or How I Actually Spent My Son's Ninth Year Celebration by Toothy Tile

Fortunately for most of the remaining Baby Tiles, the dates of their birthdays remain an unsolved mystery.  Otherwise, the celebratory dinner table would always be missing a body at one of the head chairs wouldn't it?  (At least on the date imprinted on the birth certificate.) 

With no surprise, October 17th arrived and both parental units provided their expected GPS distractions to try and dispel any possible public ideas of Marvel birthday cakes and Star Wars paper-wrapped gifts.

There was Austin Nichols waving the I'm-in-Los-Angeles flags with beard Chloe Bennet:

Chloe via #InstagramStories 🎃 pic.twitter.com/fYXTJPdQfi

— Chloe Bennet Brasil (@BrasilBennet) October 17, 2016

 And then yesterday, Papa Jake did his thing:

First there was an appearance at the Headstrong Gala which was held at Pier 60, Chelsea Piers, NYC at 7:30 pm ET.  

Then, Jake sped his way to the St James Theater in NYC for the Hilary Clinton "Stronger Together" fundraiser which started at 8:30pm ET.

where he arrived for the Broadway themed event,

and somewhere along the way did the ol' wardrobe chang-eroo

#JakeGyllenhaal #BroadwayforHillary pic.twitter.com/HG3Lc0KBXB

— JakeGyllenhaal FF (@GyllenhaalicsFF) October 19, 2016

Now, before one can click their tongue along with a Jessica Fletcher shake of the head, it is remembered that Jake has appeared several times before with Zach Iscol, Seth Meyers and the Headstrong Project dating back to May 2013 and October 1 2014.  It is an important cause and one that Jake appears to have been touched by.

While Jake's Twitter search was flooded with pictures, quotes, videos and squeals over him paired with Jon Hamm, our M&M has made note of an interesting logistical moment she realized herself.

Only 2.1 miles and a 1 hour start time separated Jake's Headstrong and Stronger Together public appearances. 

And what about the Great Pumpkin Conveyor Belt Caper by Austin and the beard? Well, let's just say the actual spoon fed location of both video participants is about as believable as the existence of the Great Pumpkin.

No, wait a minute.  I think Linus and Snoopy might have one over on the Conveyor Belt Caper.  *wink*

While the seventeenth day of October banged and clanged all over the internet, it was actually October 15th and 16th that interestingly enough made even more noise with how quiet both Austin and Jake were during the weekend. Seems likely that's when the real celebration took place in a quid pro quo deal with Management.  And as is Jake's style, subtlety is not included in his list of "See? I'm not a father" best practices as he made not one public appearance last night, but two.  And the beard's technique of uploading grainy, three-second videos with mumbled voice overs remains just that -- grainy, brief, mumbled and... hardly persuasive.

collaborated:  PG and M&M
picture sources:  IHJ, brainjet, @GyllenhaalicsFF
song:  I Run To You - Lady Antebellum