You have to keep the salt shaker nearby.
If you happened to be poking around Jake's social media search on May 5 and days following, this was his lead story via Deadline:
Heyyy, so another project with Guy Ritchie? And Jake fans are familiar with the beautiful Eiza Gonzalez, who he starred with in Ambulance. The involvement with Henry Cavill was something new, although if you've ever looked at Jake's Instagram search activity, Cavill (along other WME/Endeavor clients) is all over it. (Let's not even get into the exhibited challenges of hash tagging by account users.) So, what are the details on this "big-budget untitled action movie"?
Deadline tells us:
"Plot details and title are being kept (largely) under wraps but we hear the story, which is said to be laced with Ritchie's trademark humor, will revolve around two extraction specialists who must plan an escape path for a high-level female negotiator." - Deadline, May 05, 2023.
Fast forward to actor Henry Cavill's IMDb and oh yes, there's "Untitled Guy Ritchie's Action Movie". lol, don't you love how Guy Ritchie's name is the identifier in the temporary title?
And then, there's director Guy Ritchie himself. Here's that big guy's IMDb,
"Untitled Guy Ritchie's Action Movie" listed as being in Pre-production. But wait, look at that. Did you notice? Both Guy Ritchie and Henry Cavill have another project in common - "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare". That movie is listed in Post-production and scheduled for 2024 release. Interesting!
Makes us wonder about Eiza Gonzalez. Okay, this is too strange - here's Gonzalez's upcoming projects.
Eiza Gonzalez is also listed for both projects. So what is this "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare"?
The British military recruits a small group of highly-skilled soldiers to strike against Nazi forces behind enemy lines during World War II. - IMDb
Hmmmm, these aren't the two same movies, are they?
If you look at IMDb, "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare" lists all the actors, as shown above, while "The Untitled Guy Ritchie's Action Movie"? Looks like this:
What would be the odds of two different films both being directed by Guy Ritchie and starring Jake, Henry Cavill, and Eiza Gonzalez?
The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare completed filming in late April after having started in mid-February. Isn't it interesting that we never saw the director of The Covenant, Guy Ritchie, at any of the promotional appearances? We only saw Jake and co-star Dar Salim. But how could he appear, when he was still working on The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare?
Boy, is there some shady kind of dealings going on? LOL! Just when you think you've seen about everything from Jakers and his team, this bag of wool gets pulled over the general public's eyes.
Alrighty then...
Hold up for another oddity. According to Deadline, the "Untitled Guy Ritchie Action Movie" is to be marketed for sale by its production company, Black Bear International, at this year's Cannes Festival, which runs from May 16 to May 27.
So far, Jake's allegedly not anywhere near Cannes. He's being placed in Los Angeles, after being widely pushed on social media as having attended a Los Angeles Lakers' playoff game on Saturday, May 20.
Oh, yeah.
There were photos galore.
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| flanked by Patrick Whitesell, Gene Hong |
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| chatting up David Geffen and Gene Hong |
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| allegedly 😉 |
[Don't look too close at that last photo; we'll help guide you through it and explain why it's labeled simply "allegedly", later in the post. 😉]
And a video, of a waving Jake walking alongside fellow attendee, Gene Hong, Adam Levine's BFF 😉 and long-time, speed-dial, photo-op helper for Jake.
The photos were crystal clear and professional. Long-time followers are very familiar with Gene Hong. And note who Jake is also sitting/talking with ➡ he's sitting with his agent, Patrick Whitesell, who also happens to be executive chairman of WME/Endeavor.
Not the beard, Cadieu. Not even speed-dial beard, Greta Caruso. No fun in the sun for this game! And there were plenty of heavy-hitting tweets, roboting through Jake's search on Saturday night, all showing his image with those of Adele, Jack Nicholson, Denzel Washington, etc. Because why? Well, this tweeter tells us!
No, after a string of, unfortunately, under-performing movie releases, it seems more likely that Jake was provided with a huge booster seat of endorsement for this outing, hence the influential presence of Whitesell.
The funny part is, was Jake really even there? My motto is, all you have to have is one flimsy entry in the portfolio of photos.
There's a reason why the parties are all wearing black, a color which best covers up the boo-boo's of photoshop cropping. And then there's this.
And it is in an enlargement that you see the telltale lines of different skin tone, in addition to misalignment in the right hand middle finger.
Even the gentleman sitting on the other side of Jake, David Geffen, has longtime ties to WME/IMG/Endeavor's CEO, Ari Emmanuel.
Geffen has been a mentor to Emanuel since the latter’s days as an agent-trainee at CAA in the 1980s. - Variety, Oct 14, 2018
So, these are some heavy swingers that Jake was supposed to be "hanging with" at the basketball game as well as having his image included with, on social media.
And even on a likely manufactured/spliced "outing" like this? Jake's people are always thinking, lol. The T shirt that Jake is wearing? Let's let this alleged civilian account tell us what we need to know:
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| PR slipping in the promo |
"Howl's Moving Castle"? That's an animated movie released in 2004, of which one of the voices was handled by Christian Bale. Well, Big Sis Maggie is going to be directing a remake of Bride of Frankenstein for Netflix, starring guess who? Christian Bale. Marketer and publicist's minds never stop working, do they?
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| smh |
And yet? And yet, Narnia seriously doubts Jake was in attendance at all. Everyone is helping Jake out with his image in light of several box office shortcomings, so if he really wasn't at the Lakers/Nuggets game, where might Jake be? Because if he was really in Los Angeles, he would have no reason to not attend the game in person.
Which means....he really...could be across the pond? That would be kind of ironic, wouldn't it? Especially after all of his "proud to be American" chatter during The Covenant promo because for some years now, Jake, Austin, his sister, nieces et al have all been living across the pond much more than they've been in the states.
“I sat there
crying, watching what happens at the very end, and it just reminded me — I
walked out feeling, feeling proud to be an American and knowing what we can do
and what we can be.” - faithwire, 'It Made Me Proud to be an American': Actor Jake Gyllenhaal Grateful to Portray Soldier in War Movie, May 01, 2023
And so where is Austin, anyway? Well, back on the 8th, Austin's latest social media sharing since his birthday, was this beauty.
Could have been performed and uploaded anytime, right? Oh, and btw, um...whose fist was Austin bumping at the end???? Austy, have you taught Jakers how to drive that boat??? 😉🛥🌊
Well, it is the month of May. And the month of May has always been special for Jake and Austin, as that is the month they first met at the auditions for The Day After Tomorrow and is right before their wedding anniversary, which Narnia believes to be on June 16.
But for a couple like them, the month of May is no doubt, a very busy month, just like it is for numerous families across the United States (and Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles with their brood!). Graduations and the school year ending, and adjusting to a summer schedule, all make for a hectic month.
And is it because of Jake and Austin's secretive private life together that WME/Endeavor continues to bend over backwards to help Jake do as little as he does? That their secrets are protected to such an extent, so that neither man is tempted to leave the fold that's become so familiar?
It's becoming quite noticeable at this point.
collaboration: Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser
pic sources: Variety, Coolture Diaries, IMDb, gfycat, IHeartJake, Deadline, faithwire,
Giphy
our playlist: Heaven Must Have Sent You - Bonnie Pointer
I Need You - The Pointer Sisters
Candy Man - Mary Jane Girls
Friends - Elton John
4 comments:
"And is it because of Jake and Austin's secretive private life together that WME/Endeavor continues to bend over backwards to help Jake do as little as he does?"
I say this because for his last several movies, Jake has not done nearly the amount of promo that he used to. Or else, he's just doing "screenings with light refreshments". Granted, this is still navigating post-heavy-COVID era, but Jake has had several movies now and this last movie, The Covenant, he did about a week and a half of promo, I'm not kidding.
His Instagram work is basically capable of being done by an intern because they're just endorsements, ads, and reblogs. They're never about him or something personal.
This is because Jake apparently is much more content living his life with his family. And yet, why should one be surprised when his movies aren't doing well? This would be one reason, not the biggest reason or only one, but certainly this figures into it. Jake doesn't share much of himself anymore and so he doesn't have a large fandom anymore.
And the reason why I was winking "allegedly civilian" at that twitter account which gave an explanation for that T shirt, with the wink wink to Big Sis and her future project, is because it's that very same twitter account that tweeted a baiting tweet showing a screencap from what she says is a video.
@toycapgun
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4h
I don’t know who the little kid is that’s in this video, but they are walking just like Jake Gyllenhaal is and it is so precious..
and in the photo, it is baiting that the guy is supposed to be Jake and what? Mislead someone like Narnia that the kid could be a Baby Tile?
IT'S THE SAME TWITTER ACCOUNT!
That ain't gonna work, smh.
One more thing, the new "Untitled Guy Ritchie Action Movie" is supposed to start filming later after summertime. In Spain.
Is that to provide a back up reason so Jake can be sighted overseas this summer?
Just wondering!
That A+ Lister comment is hilarious. Remember, when his people used to insert the indoctrinated phrasing of "Best Actor of His Generation," into articles and tweets? That was always entertaining. Also, I'm beginning to wonder, since Jake will be turning 43 this December, if his career is going to be jump started again. It's pretty obvious that his 30s were largely spent raising kids so that his 40s will probably be the decade that he returns to a more typical movie-making schedule. Or, at the very least, become more active. Over the past twelve years, in particular, there's been lots of money spent to convince the public that Jake is constantly working and in demand, (the ol' workaholic image), but if anyone was paying close attention, Jake was in fact hardly working at all. Lots of smoke and mirrors typical of the closet, but amplified even further because of fatherhood. Also, amusing that we are meant to believe that Jake attended the Los Angeles Lakers playoff game on Saturday, yet the NY resident never attended a single New York Knicks playoff game. Hmm. I wonder why that would be? Just sayin', but it seems that slowly but surely somehow Jake has publicly returned to Los Angeles and he and his people just hope nobody notices. Of course, now that Narnia has pointed this out, it will be interesting to see how long it will be before we get pics of Jakers in NY. Maybe with the beard in tow to save some money and reinforce two dormant narratives at once.
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