Fake news: False, often sensational information disseminated under the guise of news reporting. When deliberate misinformation or hoaxes spread via traditional print and broadcast media, including online social platforms.
Contrary to Trump's braggadocio-ridden blathering, disinformation and strategically planted sensationalistic lies have been around since time began. A tried and true method of planting a seed in the mind of an ill-informed audience, or a group of people predisposed to want to believe a story either out of ignorance or often times based on biases that influence perceptions as well as realities.
The tactic is simple. Construct a certain image or an exaggerated reputation that stays imprinted upon the mind and muscle memory of the public. That way if any semblance of the truth accidentally shines through, there is an embedded predisposition to believe the lie.
Within this frame of reference, it should come as no surprise, that the powers that be use the narrative of THE SCANDAL to plant the seed that someone is genuinely, truly, no doubt about it, very much heterosexual. That way if any rumors surface (or more than likely already have), the public has some high profile event or airing of dirty laundry they can point to as "proof" of that person's undeniable straightness.
In today's more savvy, aware world, a public marriage is no longer enough to "convince" or shut down discourse. Dating scenarios, even Lothario in nature, or broken off engagements, are also far too bland and commonplace to convince the cynical and shrewd at heart. Therefore, other elements must be thrown in for good measure. An in-your-face "shock and awe" story that can last for years. Sometimes decades if rolled out properly. People's memories are notoriously pathetic if left with only mundane material to draw upon. But, throw in some sex, nudity, infidelity, or prosecutable outrage and now we're talkin'.
1) 1997 - Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Pitt
Supposedly, "innocently", vacationing in the
West Indies in 1995 the poor unsuspecting "couple" just couldn't
catch a break. Several frontal nudes of Pitt surfaced, taken by the
supposed trespassing pap. Paltrow, of course, had to be nude as well to
solidify the story. But, the real red flag in this celebrity "scoop"
is not just that the pics were published by "Playgirl" two years
after the alleged incident (August 1997), but conveniently only after the two
"broke up" because, of course, they were engaged as well (June 1997).
I particularly love the attention grabbing headline, "Brad's Forbidden
Photos." Google images still has the proof of straightness available for
all to see, but here's a more-safe-for-the-workplace example. Derrière touching
with a receptive tush: No gay here, people. Move along!
.
2) 2005 - Sophia Bush and Chad Michael Murray
Sophia Bush has a special place in our Narnia hearts because part of her public "story" involves one-half of a favorite OTP you all should be familiar with by now: a tall Texan by the name of Austin Nichols. In fact, Austin stepped right into her straight bona fides, once Chad had completed his contractual obligations. Admittedly, the provided "facts" do not coincide with what actually happened, but then management teams are not really known for embracing the truth about their closeted clients. In fact, by the time Austin Nichols and Sophia Bush "broke up" (conveniently, only a few months after "One Tree Hill" filmed their final episode in late November 2012), Bush went from "dating" Austin since 2009 to some razzle dazzle revisionist history that made it seem like they had been an on-off couple since 2006. The manipulation of their dating histories helped both of them out, even though it was an outright lie. Bush had supposedly married CMM on April 16, 2005. By September of that year, they had separated. By February 2006, she had filed for an annulment, which was denied. The divorce became final on December 29, 2006. See how that worked out nicely? She needed to fill in gaps associated with her hetero cred cover and so did Austin, since he had "broken" off his engagement with Claire Oswalt in 2004 and had not publicly dated anyone until Sophia Bush in 2009.
Here's the happy couple, aka the cheek smooch
But, you rightly ask, where is the scandal in all of this OTH three degree of separation stuff, and you would be right to refocus our attention. In fact, let's start by noting that the shotgun romance and break up story with Chad Michael Murray was so well executed that it is still reaping benefits in 2017, allowing Bush to conjure up the ancient past to remind everyone that she was once married, albeit to a cheating woman chaser. See, all involved in this mess were heterosexual just in case anyone might question either side of the coupling. Particularly, since Chad Michael Murray had his own rumors with another half of one of our other OTPs.
Chad Michael Murry and Jared Padalecki
You can see where it might be important to hit home the CMM douche bag image as well:
Live and learn. Sophia Bush opened up about the aftermath and "trauma" of her much-publicized 2006 divorce from Chad Michael Murray in a new open letter published in Cosmopolitan. US Magazine, January 2017
The passionate nose smooch
Seems like I've seen that sly move before. If only I could place...
The passionate chin smooch
Aaah yes...In any event, back to the subject at hand. At first, the rumors were indeed fairly lukewarm. CMM caught leaving strip clubs soon after they married. Then the perfect story developed with famewhore de jure, Paris Hilton being the one to lure the actor into temptation. The convenient connection was the movie, The House of Wax which premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival on April 30, 2005. Who cares if the movie was actually filmed in Australia a year before in June 2004. A minor technicality easily solved by Aaron Carter going on The Heterosexual Ryan Seacrest™ KIIS radio show (don't worry, we'll be returning to Ry Ry later on) to silence any doubters one year later:
The on-air "corrobation" by another recognizable celebrity a common seal-the-deal technique to silence those pesky conspiracy theorists who refuse to be bullied into corporate submission:
Here's the sensational TMZ write-up, the headline surgically extracted from the radio interview:
10/5/2006 2:31 PM PDT -- TMZ
Paris Cheated on Me w/ Chad Michael Murray
It was bombshell after bombshell when Nick Carter called into Ryan Seacrest's top-rated morning show
on KIIS FM in Los Angeles Thursday morning. The former Backstreet Boy
shocked both Ryan and listeners by claiming he "hooked up" with Ashlee Simpson, as an act of revenge against his ex-girlfriend Paris Hilton.
According
to Carter, Paris forced the situation after she allegedly cheated on
him with her "House of Wax" co-star Chad Michael Murray. When asked if
Murray was together with his ex-wife Sophia Bush at the time, Nick
promptly responded, "Yeah."
If the name Aaron Carter, might sound familiar in 2017...it probably should. In some ways, he was just another up and comer singer back in 2006, with his own queer rumors to tap down. A nineteen year old boy/man standing in the shadow of his much more famous Backstreet Boys brother, Nick. But, because of his lineage, he was also an individual cognizant of the realities of the business and the machinations of the closet. In other words, the perfect enabler. Someone who not only wanted to advance his own music career by selling a mandatory straight image, while simultaneously rubber stamping an earlier version of the same Sophia Bush/Chad Michael Murry "love" story.
Aaron Carter on Revealing His Bisexuality: ‘I Just Can’t Live a Lie Anymore’ -- August 14, 2017 "People Magazine"
3) 2012 - Prince Harry
Let's face it, this stereotypical Bacchanal "scandal" is so cookie cutter in its content as well as its scripted roll out that all that's needed are some basic "facts" to expose what is really going on here. First off the level of detail is noteworthy, in addition to the "exclusive," predictable tabloid reveal. Supported by the added push of credibility via PEOPLE magazine. Let's set the stage first. The venue: SIN CITY, Las Vegas. The protagonist: Prince Harry, third in line to the throne. The event: An extraordinarily well-publicized jacuzzi pool party and strip billards game in a VIP Hotel Room. The confirmed refreshments: £65
pitchers of ‘dragonberry’ mojitos and a £13,000 15-litre bottle of
Veuve Clicquot champagne. The protection: High level security.
At this point, credulity is already being stretched to the maximum, but let's continue anyway just in case we can't guess what the real purpose for all of this intricate detail is. Apparently, just reporting the elements of the story, based on eyewitness accounts, was not considered enough to ensure that the Prince's true preferences would be indisputable. Therefore, drum roll, please. Shockingly, the celebrity website TMZ (often used as one of the first purveyors of PR stunts in the United States) is able to somehow obtain candid photos of the 27-year-old royal, naked (that's right fully naked!), except "for some jewellery" (a nice detail to bolster authenticity). Bodyguards are at the ready, but still allow a bevy of naked women into the Prince's VIP hotel room to take photos of him playing strip billiards. Afterwards, the "drunken women" (because the presence of an uninhibited orgy of females is far better than one woman) were simply allowed to dress and leave with their camera phones and their un-deleted snapshots.
Of course, the story line was "toned down" with an "official" statement from one the girls assuring everyone that it wasn't really an orgy. Just some "sexy naked," time (whatever that's supposed to mean). But upon closer inspection, that's about as believable as Prince Harry's security allowing such a publicized debacle to happen in the first place. Luckily, the world is assured by the "esteemed" Daily Fail, that there was no security breach so there was absolutely no need to worry about the Prince's safety at anytime. In other words, nothing bad could ever have happened because the Prince's bodyguards and minders were not there to protect his reputation. Only his manhood, apparently. Because that's what everyone was meant to take away from this event. Prince Harry loves the ladies a lot. And they love him back. Case closed.
For a candid photo, the Prince sure seems perfectly positioned, don't you think?
pic sources: Us Magazine, Getty, People, Daily Mail
our playlist: Oops!... I Did It Again - Britney Spears
Demons - Imagine Dragon
I Won't Back Down - Tom Petty
Know Your Enemy - Green Day
