Watching Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols carry out Endeavor's master plan of minimalizing the former John From Cincinnati star Nichols through their publicist team, has been like staring at the bus below:
It has been that kind of year. In mid-March, we looked at a wild attempt by an intern to spread the word that Austin was married to Liev Schrieber in real life and that Liev's two boys belonged to both he and Austin. Phew! Remember that one?
Well, did you know that Austin must be a heckuva Don Juan when it comes to his former co-stars because now he's supposed to have also been involved in a serious fling with none other than...Roberto! Roberto "Rob" Buckley. Remember him? Clay from One Tree Hill. See if this picture from February, 2011 jogs your memory.
Ha! It's not what's in your wallet, but what's in yer pants!
Well, if we at Narnia had long ago tossed "Buckin" away into the compost bin, then it would seem a good bet that ten years later, the rest of the human population would have, as well. Except for this account that "sprang" up out of nowhere into Austin's twitter search about a week and a half ago.
And then the tweeting party dropped this "bombshell":
They weren't done yet. They had some extra "inside info" on our Jakers:
Uh huh. As usual, Management never knows when to stop and so here came the Stalker Intern butting in, a surefire deal sealer on this twitter conversation falling under the category of "social media Masterpiece Theater":
And then on the evening of April 22, another online account thought they would pay me a visit and try to sell the "childhood trauma" story as well:
Fortunately, my apartment complex has a 24/7 dumpster and that load of you-know-what has already been dropped off into it. *wink*
But, back to the Austin and Roberto "romance". Thanks to HelenClarke58, he/she stirred this author's memory, back to that time when there was indeed that fleeting ship known as "Buckin". And fueling that ship was a glorious video aired on E! Online during one of their "Top 10" television episodes, enhanced with hugging, flirting, and Roberto telling Austin that he had made him a PB and J sandwich just the way he liked it, with the crusts removed. Alas, the video is no longer available online, but these photos are from that interview:
and a bit of ha-ha-ha:
Austin and Roberto in a hot tub? Hmm. You don't say??? Pretty risque stuff!! And so, this whole "twitter convo" with some kinda shady characters caused M&M to sidle up with a rocking chair so we could "reminisce" about this "Buckin" golden memory! And, in doing so, this misstep by Management, incredibly adept at overplaying their hand, set the stage for a combing over and through to snap out a few "tangles", otherwise known as logistical mess-ups. And what we discovered during this collaborative throwback, was that had some of us really been paying attention at the time, we would have seen that the whole "Buckin" narrative didn't quite add up.
First, let's look at this time frame and a few events that were happening just prior to the unveiling of the "Buckin" video, which aired on September 9, 2009. I think Jaustin old-timers will find this pretty interesting.
• Jake and Reese Witherspoon were deep in the throes of their beard/merkin contract since debuting the coupling in Rome, Italy on October 23, 2007. Jake had been to Martha's Vineyard in August 2009 but, by September, both he and Reese were back in southern Cali.
• September 1, Austin and One Tree Hill co-star Sophia Bush sent tongues to wagging on Oh My Godot (OMG) over whether or not they were getting serious about bearding with this "date night" photo op at Madeo in Beverly Hills. Austin is also wearing his ring (dubbed Big Blue), which was believed to come from the Dominican Republic due to the unique Larimar stone. Tortuga Bay resort is in the DR where we believe he and Jake shared a romantic getaway in 2005.
Just looking at their ridiculously matching outfits was a huge clue that a fauxmance was taking shape before our eyes.
• September 2, the famous toddler footprint was spotted on Jake's shorts in pictures from a visit to the Beverly Hills Medical Building. OMG administrator Special K noticed the footprint right away. Zooming and enlarging ensued, in addition to lots of speculative conversation on the blog.
• Friday, September 4, in what would soon look like a botched photo op, Jake and Reese were photo'd by the pap site Flynet at Twist in LA, buying frozen yogurt with her children, Ava and Deacon. The pictures were actually from Sept. 3, but didn't appear on Flynet.com until September 4. [It's important to know that this was the beginning of Labor Day weekend]
By Monday the 7th, new promo pictures for the upcoming season of One Tree Hill are released, of which Austin is a part of, as well as Robert Buckley.
• Tuesday, Sept 8 Ted Casablanca has an interesting Awful Truth question/ask, which we will come back to later:
In this post from Oh My Godot on Sept 8, called PoPing Under Pressure?, at 04:38 am on Sept 9, someone posts what is supposed to be a tweet placing Sophia Bush at LAX. But another person corrects the record and indicates that the pictures are old and actually from July 2008.
The poster of the "Sophia at LAX" alleged tweet is called out for posting old photos and the thread deteriorates into deleted comments containing explicit profanity, a big clue that someone is none too happy about being correctly called out. The thread is quite interesting in watching how spoon feeding, misdirection and confusion can be purposely inserting into any blog discussion while trying to geographically place an OTP far apart from each other.
• Wed, Sept 10 Several observations about the photos caused posters to believe Jake arrived separately at Twist and met Reese there because someone(s) else was with him, thus Jake carrying extra cups of yogurt while Witherspoon and children were carrying their own. We now realize that the whole set of photos are not on IHJ and several others were deleted from the internet.
Again, there was much discussion when one commenter suddenly observed that the car Jake was walking towards looked like his black Camry. Since other pictures showed Reese with her car keys in hand and her car shown as well, the realization that Jake had driven separately fueled the idea that combined with the number of yogurts Jake had, Austin and family were most likely in the Camry. Also important to note the pictures were from Thursday the 3rd, but not posted on Flynet.com until Friday the 4th, thus intended to carryover for discussion and "absorption" the entire Labor Day weekend. By the time the pictures are posted on go-to site IHeartJake, the multitude of pictures were mysteriously reduced to only six.
Now let's step back to the Ted Casablanca Awful Truth Ask about Robert and Austin as "Buckin". It is interesting to note that tweeter HelenClarke58 had said "There were lots of rumors and speculation at the time". I had replied from my other twitter account @blastobutter when I saw that proclamation, and disagreed. While we had some fun on OMG with the whole idea of Buckin, note Ted's response to the AT Ask under the name "Dear Buckin Stops Here". In other words, he hosed down that fire before it even started. So where were all the "lots of rumors and speculation"?
Welllllll....dating back to September 1, Ted Casablanca had several "Ask's" from posters about Robert Buckley and Austin. Take this one for example, posted 9/01 on Waiting for Toothy2, followed by an observation by an anon:
Ted said...
Dear Awful Truth:
I have a suggestion to properly name the Austin Nichols/Robert Buckley bromance. Robstin gets too confused with Robsten, so how about renaming them Robin? If we are going to hear a lot about this hot pair, then we'll have to have them properly identified. Is Sophia Bush Shafterella Shoshstein?
—Celine
Dear Done With One:
To be honest, I don't anticipate us ever talking about Austin/Rob again beyond a Bitch-Back or two—fellas just don't have much of a gossip-worthy shelf life, methinks. And no, Soph isn't nearly on the same level of stardom as S2, but she is just as sweet looking.
I have a suggestion to properly name the Austin Nichols/Robert Buckley bromance. Robstin gets too confused with Robsten, so how about renaming them Robin? If we are going to hear a lot about this hot pair, then we'll have to have them properly identified. Is Sophia Bush Shafterella Shoshstein?
—Celine
Dear Done With One:
To be honest, I don't anticipate us ever talking about Austin/Rob again beyond a Bitch-Back or two—fellas just don't have much of a gossip-worthy shelf life, methinks. And no, Soph isn't nearly on the same level of stardom as S2, but she is just as sweet looking.
September 01, 2009
9:41 am
Anonymous said...
^Again, ted is implying there is something going on
between Austin/Robert. There are too many mentions to say they are just hints.
He's been mentioning them daily for weeks.
September 01, 2009
9:48 am
Anonymous said...
I'm still not convinced, so far I'm only sure about
Austin and Robert are gay hints.
September 01, 2009
9:54 am
Anonymous said...
^I think Ted is not just hinting they are gay. He always
put them together as a pair with a joint name and disguise it as a
"bromance".He is hinting they are are involved.
September 01, 2009 10:00 am And the next day on 9/02, someone brings up Robert and Austin again:
Anonymous said...
Austin/Sophia matching outfits:
Could this be a big F*CK YOU from Austin to the neglecting Jake???...
oh,my...and when I was starting to think the Toothy saga had nothing else to give us!! ;)
Could this be a big F*CK YOU from Austin to the neglecting Jake???...
oh,my...and when I was starting to think the Toothy saga had nothing else to give us!! ;)
September 02, 2009
5:56 pm
Anonymous said...
^Robert is Austin's big f*ck you to Jake ;)
September 02, 2009 6:08 pm And again on Sept. 4th.
Then on September 5, a question is posted by Ted Casablanca about "Toothy Tile," and the very first comment brings up Robert Buckley.
Anonymous said...
Dear Ted:
Why is Jake Gyllenhaal looking so bad and angry lately? He looks as if he is sad about something or feeling jealous.
—Robbie
Why is Jake Gyllenhaal looking so bad and angry lately? He looks as if he is sad about something or feeling jealous.
—Robbie
Dear Duh:
Yeah, it's this thing called a career.
I think this might be another hint to Austin/Robert. The
question talks about Jake feeling sad and jealous. It's too much of a
coincidence it's signed by a "Robbie" (Robert) and Ted replies with a
"Dear Duh". Robert's official twitter is named @robbuckleyduh.
It's been deleted, but you can still see it listed on the CW site and linked on
the official one tree hill twitter.
A conversation ensues on whether or not Jake is threatened by Robert, and if Jake finally pushed Austin too far with his bearding. Were Austin and Jake finally done-zo, etc. etc.?
Then on September 8, came the ask to Ted about "Buckin", where he indicated that there was nothing going on between Austin and Robert.
One day later, on September 9, here came the infamous "Buckin" video, with Austin and Roberto openly "flirting" and carrying on for the world to see, particularly Jaustin fans. Because Jake and Austin fans, no doubt, were the primary audience that video was most likely intended for. Once the deed was done, however, and the seeds of doubt planted, the video was scrubbed away, never to be visible again. Ironically, much too gay apparently. After, revisiting this timeline ten years later, clearly there has never a better time for our man, Frank Drebin:
So many orchestrated visuals, planted rumors and Ted Asks. So many "comments" and "observations" simply to try and plant the seeds known as "Buckin". And yes, "lots of rumors and speculation" where? Originating and mostly planted into minds on one site - Waiting for Toothy2! Most likely by its intern in residence. And the whole concept of "Buckin" just another example of anyone, but Jake.
Let's return to the yogurt pictures of Jake, Reese and the children which were not actually released until Friday the 4th in order to carry over for Labor Day weekend. At the same time, Austin and Sophia were attempted to be placed at the U.S. Open over the weekend in N.Y.C. In other words, heavy-handed though it was, "Buckin" was simultaneously seeded and planted to try and convince Jaustin fans that Austin was cheating on Jake.
This tactic of trying to pair either Jake or Austin with another co-star, peer, or director in order to indicate their relationship was done-zo was and still is one that would be repeated over and over to this very day. Yet somehow, without much effort, the folks of Oh My Godot and Narnia Dispatches blogspots continue to find constant re-enforcing evidence that this is far from the truth.
Let's leave everyone with this shiny gold nugget (more like a boulder) that was discovered in a Crazy Days and Nights Blind, but was linked in a Data Lounge discussion thread. Because no matter how many years pass, no matter how many "meards of the month" either of these men are given, no matter how many Instagram stories or tweets continue to attempt to place them apart in more ways than just geographically, no matter if the Ted Casablanca's, Trent Vanegas' (Pink is the New Blog) and Michael K's are run out of town, no matter if blog administrators like Waiting for Toothy 2's Jackie are mysteriously gone from their sites, or "new ring bands" or "bracelets" appear on Jake or Austin's persons, comments like the following bombshells have still appeared and blown up all of those best laid plans and board room strategies, and causing us long-time believers to shout out an enthusiastic Harry Styles "BOOM!".
And now hand this commenter a megaphone because both M&M and I believe this one is legit.
Couldn't have said it better, Harry.
Everybody? Have yourselves a great week!
collaboration: Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser pic sources: Giphy, IHJ, Jake Weirdland, Just Jared
our playlist: Brand New Lover - Dead or Alive
Suspicious Minds - Fine Young Cannibals
Where's the Love - Hanson
