The One That Got Away From The Tabloids: When Austin Nichols Attended Jake Gyllenhaal's Play, SeaWall/A Life

 

who was seen, where and when...

 

Funny thing now about Hollywood gossip, with the likes of Ted Casablanca now gone, the news that gets blared online for all to see.  Scandalous bragging of affairs, "hiding in plain sight", and brazen "flirting" and "clothes sharing" for the whole world to see.  Allegedly authentic relationships which might be scandalous in nature or risque, are openly talked about on Tumblr and Twitter, commented upon on Instagram.  What's even more humorous, is these out-in-the-open affairs involve Narnia OTP halves who aren't even known to be out.  

Oh, no.  They're supposed to be involved with other people of the opposite sex.  Yet, somehow they are allegedly sending out loud signals with clothing and jewelry, writing poetry books and musical lyrics shouting to the rooftops of their "true" love. [i.e. Cockles, Gyllenholland]

And then, when a real life mention happens, which places this particular famous blind vice couple in each other's earthly orbit, somehow...it was totally missed.

No Just Jared mention.

No tweets. 

Crazy Days and Nights, anyone?

This "was" a famous couple!  They were biking and Laker game buddies!  They co-starred in a silver screen disaster film together.  They have been talked about ad nauseum in numerous gossip threads, a la Data Lounge, Towleroad, Lipstick Alley, Just Jared just to name a few.  

So what's the tea?  The who, what, when, where?

 

Let's transcribe the post:

fernwooddesigns - Chatted with a handsome gentleman yesterday at #seawallalife (it's an incredibly moving, well-done show.  See it.)  At dinner, @mukristy figured out it was @austinnichols.  Had I realized, I would have asked 1,000 questions about my favorite show; @agentsofshield.  You got off lucky, sir! - August 4, 2019 source

Wait, WHAT?!

"Chatted with a handsome gentleman yesterday at #seawallalife"

"At dinner,  @mukristy figured out it was @austinnichols."

Well.  Blow me down.

Do we have any photos?  Nope.

Do we have any other sightings at the Hudson Theater?  Nope.

 

But guess what we had?  We had @yabishchristina, who was located near Seaside Heights and Montclair, NJ, locations that are under an hour from New York City.  Austin visited her job on the same day as he attended Seawall A Life, on August 3, 2019.

 

 

Funny thing, @yabishchristina's twitter account is no more.  Isn't that just amazing?  #not 

Funny thing too, now, about New Jersey.  Maybe there's more to the state than just somewhere that Austin was perhaps killing time before the big show.  Remember the time Jake was spotted holding a baby at a Mumford & Sons concert?  Guess where the concert was on August 1, 2012?  Hoboken, NJ, about an hour and a half from Seaside Heights, NJ.  This gal's twitter account limits its visibility now, although it does still exist.  But PG's archive can still be productive!

 

 

 

 

And how about the time Jake (who was supposed to live in NYC) was spotted at Newark, NJ Airport?  Remember that one?

Or this especially damaging receipt from a fan who was at the stage door of Jake's play, Sunday in the Park With George, with deet-spilling cast members who said that Jake always high-flew out of "town" to board the train for New Jersey after each show.  Awwwww...😍

 

 

Well, well, well...seems quite plausible and undeniable at this point, doesn't it?  Austin being sighted in New Jersey?  The family roost when Jake is working in New York City.  Near the water.  With a boardwalk that looks an awful lot like Santa Monica.  A home away from home for the water baby hubs, Austin.

 

Additional funnies, aka the timeline, that Jake's Team Mara created.  Let's look at the time period surrounding this conversation and sighting of Austin at Jake's play in 2019:

• On July 20, Austin and the beard, Chumley "Hassie" Harrison were in New York City.

• On the same day, July 20, 2019, Jake is papped eating an orange, crossing the streets of New York City as well.

•  On Friday, July 26, a heads up begins to show on Twitter about Jake's interview with enabler Willie Geist on television's CBS Sunday Morning, which consisted of the infamous, "You know, I am not a father.  I do hope to be a father one day." - source

 

 

• Austin is flying out, as tweeted by this One Tree Hill fan, whose mother was allegedly on his flight, July 25, 2019.  Location unknown.

• Austin shows up at the TCA's at the Beverly Hills Hilton in Beverly Hills, CA, for Sundance's This Close, on July 25.

• Austin's on the move again, allegedly sitting next to this fan, who hasn't tweeted since this tweet, July 26.  Boy, quick turnaround, wasn't it?   Her home location is Temple, TX, so we assume she's headed home, and duh... Austin is headed to Texas?

• July 31 - Chumley is in Ireland

• Aug 4 - Austin is mentioned in this Instagram as having attended Jake's play, Seawall/A Life the previous day, Aug 3.

 

• Early on the morning of Aug 4, Austin suddenly tweets that he is flying over Iceland.  Or it could be a typo by the intern and they meant to type an "r" instead of "i".  LOL!  Because to go from the States, then over Iceland, then on to Ireland???  😵

• Aug 5, Austin posts on his Instagram that he is now in Ireland, over a week since Chumley showed up there.  

Unconvincing videos like this one where Chumley isn't even seen:

 

Or this one, where the only person you could surmise is Austin is the tall fellow on the left:

Or this video which doesn't even show Austin OR Chumley, but at the end you catch a glimpse of what could be the Gyllynichols Family Van!  Because of all the times Jake and the fam have been in the UK, they very well probably took a vacay to Ireland and well, that could have been their fam cruiser.  LOL!

The next thing we know, Austin is posting about being in the Grand Tetons by September 6.

That's a lot of shenanigan GPS maneuvers and distractions, isn't it?  

 

On August 6, Page Six posts this story about Jake and beard Jeanne Cadieu suddenly "getting serious".  (btw, we're still waiting for signs of this "seriousness"! 😁)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And we can have this, meard Tom Holland blathering about being married to Jake (September 3):

and lots of pics with co-star Tom Sturridge.  Here they were with Dr. Oz for a Q & A,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We knew about John Mulaney attending opening night,

 

 

And fellow Marvel colleagues Hiddles (Tom Hiddleston) and Jake's co-star from Velvet Buzzsaw,  Zawe Ashton) and Sebastian Stan, along with Jake's co-star from Sunday in the Park With George, Annaleigh Ashford!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And during the winter run of Seawall/A Life, there was Jake's co-lead in Constellations, Ruthie Wilson and even Austin's co-star from Ray Donovan, Liev Schrieber!

 

Alot of support from former colleagues.

 

But....no photo allowed of or with Austin, his co-star from the film, The Day After Tomorrow.  Well-known biking buddy.  Photo'd together so often, we were able to compile a Masterpost:  30 Days and 16 Years: A Pin-Up History of Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols.  

Even posted on Twitter, a fuzzy, fast-swinging video, so fast that you couldn't see hardly anything, of Austin supposedly at a holiday party of Jake's in NYC in 2018, yet - unable to see Jake and Austin in the video.  But hey, he was supposed to be there (good luck trying to spot Jake)!

 

 

Notice when Austin attended - during previews, not during the regular run.   Jake could be seen with work colleagues or the colleagues could be seen/publicized attending his play, even though the one colleague that he had known since 2002, was BFF's with, had once spent all day in a set trailer with, shared a residence with in Canada during the filming of The Day After Tomorrow, shopped for books at a Borders with on a Friday night, worked out with at a gym in 2010, ate sushi with in 2012, drove this friend's truck in 2012, rode with in an SUV and hung out with during Demolition promotion at SXSW 2016, need we go on?   By 2019, there were no more photos.  No Just Jared post.  Even the Instagram post which mentions Austin had attended Jake's play, has no comments.  Only 16 likes.

Talk about flying under the radar.  That's how it is when you go underground.  Look at how long of a transition that has been.  Jared and Jensen fans, take note - it is a long process.

For 2019 though, a year past the expiration date of "Jake Gyllenhaal knows Austin Nichols", it looks like we had some associating going on.  Do you really need pictorial proof that Austin was there?  Not really.  Looks like a done deal to Narnia.

Happy Valentine's Day Eve, fellas. 💕💕💕

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

😉

 

 

pic sources:  clipartqueen, eonline, I Heart Jake,  reactiongifs,

our playlist:  Train in Vain - The Clash

                     Took the Last Train - David Gates

                     Love Train - The O'Jays

                     Morning Train (9 to 5) - Sheena Easton

                     Groovy Train - The Farm

The WME/Endeavor Network Brings You "The Jake Gyllenhaal Reboot"

Wait a second. You mean it's not 2012 all over again?  Narnia sure thought it was because a hard reboot just happened right before our very eyes. 

We went from soft-hued, orange sherbet-y, Jake...

and wafer'ish Jake in pastels -

to seeing him abruptly replaced with dark and gritty Jake...

Granted, back in 2012, when William Morris Agency (WME/IMG)/Endeavor first put their own corporate stamp on Jakers' new image, he wasn't sucking on his thumb like he appears to be in the photo above, but oral stimulation was still part of his reworked package.  Newbie Spidey fans may be in the dark, but longtime followers remember this "revised" Jake, early circa 2012.

The Time to Dance music video:

Standing around with unnamed friends, "caught" by paps:

in New York City, allegedly on Dec 7, 2012:

James Dean'ish Jake pictured above in 2012 is quite different from the cuddly, cashmere sweater lovin' young man from early 2011 (as seen directly below).  The change was striking and sudden, as one could imagine.

Hmmmm.... so, are we in for another WME/Endeavor Jake restart? The good thing is, they don't have to "move" him to New York! He's already got his time-share, I mean "pap free condo" residence in the Big Apple.  So, the showy "Hollywood Hills estate sale" would not be necessary; that's a cost savings right there.  ;-)

Back in 2012-2013, the new talent agency also tried to "ease" Jake back into the "relationship" game (after supposedly nursing his still raw "break up" wounds with A-List Beard Reese Witherspoon for a protracted two-years under CAA). The primary hints being generated by strategically-placed internet rumors with the likes of Minka Kelly and Are They-or-Aren't-They photos with blue-haired Lea Seydoux.  This non-tactile, sterile tactic eventually evolved into more rumors and a picnic table photo flotation with model Emily Didonato, which quickly shifted into a broadly publicized "relationship" with model Alyssa Miller.  That contract ended in late 2013 with a much-delayed announcement in January 2014. (See how they did that? No one even noticed that Jake got to be free just in time for the holidays!)  A very similar and convenient post-Thanksgiving timeline was employed in December 2010 with Taylor Swift, with the "break-up" announced on January 4, 2011. With this kind of holiday season timeline, one would almost think that Jake might have wanted to be with some special someones, wouldn't you?

And now Sony and Marvel have finished manipulating and playing their fans with the following Henny Penny, "The sky has fallen!", aka "can't come to terms" narrative:

Followed by breaking out the Crying Tom picture:

 Dreams Shattered!

That door is CLOSED:

And then?  Welllll... maybe crack open that door, just a smidge.

 













Notice in Variety's September tweet above, the important words "For the Moment".  

And then finally, another ride on the Sony/Marvel Tilt-A-Whirl ride. It's a miracle! An agreement has suddenly been reached.

Oh indeed, little one!  Indeed.  And guess what?  The two big juggernaut companies had a "savvy" mediator involved with the high level negotiations. Guess who it was?

Peter Parker saved the day.  We sure couldn't see that one coming.

Oh, yes.

 

And so the Spidey universe has now been saved and Holland is a hero just like "movie Spiderman", his character.  You couldn't write a better script than that, could you?  Oh wait...I think it just was, wasn't it?

And, what about Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio, also known as Jake Gyllenhaal?  What does his future hold? Well, now that Jakers is done with Sea Wall/A Life, Tom "Homewrecker" Sturridge has been kicked to the curb, I mean, lol - I mean, he's moved on to other projects.  That is, until perhaps a London run of Sea Wall/A Life sometime next year, a la Sunday In The Park With George?  A run in late summer/early fall might work out, pre-Thanksgiving/Christmas?  Don't be surprised at all if the play is taken across the pond.  Jake's frequent filming overseas and taking SITPWG for an extended run in London fits in nicely with hiding the family and Austin along with him.

And also now that Sea Wall/A Life has ended (on Sep 29), what has happened to Jake since that closing weekend?  Well, he stage door'ed on Saturday the 28th and there were plenty of pictures reflecting this.  

Stage-dooring - (love this smile on him):

Posing with other actresses in the business:

And then, in pictures of a suddenly and noticeably beefier-looking Jake and beard Jeanne "Homewrecker III" Cadieu, allegedly taking a New York City walkabout on Sep 30, after giving the paps a ring.  Here's an "informative" account telling everyone what day it was:

  Additional pictures spread like a wildfire:

There was some, sorta-kinda-maybe PDA?

The ol' "I think there's something in my hair" line:

Unbridled passion in a stolen moment:

 















*whispers* "Is that really Jake's gluteus maximus? I dunnooooo..." ;-)

And then of course, the ol' "Hey! Who are you lookin' at?" pose.

A promoted attendance at an art show called JR: The Chronicles of New York City, with the enabling assistance of Chris Rock (WME/Endeavor client) and an old trustworthy, enabling art business contact and former merkin for actress/pal Michelle Williams, Dustin Yellin.  He has now popped up multiple times with both Big Sis Maggie and Jake.

Here's Jake, Dustin Yellin in the forefront and a headless hugger, I mean someone that Jake is embracing whose head we somehow cannot see at all:

Good ol' Yellin.  The Gyllenhaal's can count on those in the art world for help, much like Harry Styles' people seem to do for him.  

More reading from the same playbook, perhaps?  *wink*

Harry at the “Tim Walker: Wonderful Things” exhibition at the Victoria & Albert 

Museum in London yesterday - October 3, 2019

 Harry in London with Jefferson Hack at The Store X The Vinyl Factory’s Transformer Exhibition, October 4, 2019

But, we digress. The time came to roll out another NYC walkabout with Cadieu, on this occasion, with a nocturnal edge (Ha! Get it?)  "Nocturnal"..... I know, lame.  :-( 

In a set of pictures (which yet again hit Instagram first, and then I Heart Jake) entitled "Out With Jeanne and Friends", here's Jake, Jeanne and unnamed friends, allegedly taking place on Sep 29, but for some reason, not released until Oct 4.

You have to admit, Jake and Cadieu have some just-between-them kind of unique PDA uniqueness going on.  LOL!

 Or, perhaps Jake got his shoe stuck on some gum and Cadieu is trying to help pry his shoe free from that offending sidewalk?  Either way, that young gal cannot keep her hands off of Jake! You have gotta love their being able to throw themselves into these manipped moments.

And this particular "shot" captured some pretty fancy footwork.  Looks like they may have been doing some docey-do'ing square dancing, as we see Ms. Cadieu with her body on Jake's left.  One minute in the first picture, her left leg is in front of Jake's,  perhaps trying to nudge his knee and heel from behind to get him to start moving.

And, in what can only be described as a "swift" move, she's docey-dandied back behind his leg! What a sly maneuver by the young model!

And then here's Jake with the levitation move, so light on his feet, almost like Fred Astaire (if he ever square danced, that is)

Wow! These kids are a day late and a dollar short for Hee Haw or Lawrence Welk, aren't they?  

And then there's their desire to draw their friends on the sidewalk into their two or was it three-step moments, almost to the point of stepping-on-toes awkwardness:

I don't know, but we think Cadieu ought to turn around with her eyes on her path because she's about to slam right into that young lady. ;-)  As is apparent, Narnia does not pass up on any opportunity for a safety moment, ladies and gentlemen.

And for good measure, use The Daily Mail to tell everyone it was a Date Night and throw her much-younger age into the title so that the comments can be steered to discuss what a "Leo DiCaprio" Jake is.

In between all of this New York City activity, we had a new Jake photoshoot from the late Peter Lindbergh which was released on the internet.  This was a nice one:

And Austin came out of the woodwork, looking suddenly quite, er...purposely "rugged":

DO YOU HAVE GUTS?
I’d love to meet you folks. Atlanta @WalkerStalker. Oct 18-20. See ya there! pic.twitter.com/Ppjp0hqVSh

— AUSTIN NICHOLS (@AustinNichols) September 30, 2019

 While GyllenHolland ramped up a bit with a gag reel and "behind the scenes" to go along with the released DVD of Far From Home, and an "old"/"new" video that was released, which GyllenHolland fans thought was very romantic and husband-ish, if their Instagram posts are to be believed.  See for yourself and see if you aren't overcome with something. At least this account helps to spoonfeed, I mean explain.

View this post on Instagram

When they both look at each other when the diamond ring part comes on...it all makes sense now. 👀 _____________ ac- @jake.and.tom ✨✨ song- (look back at it) • :)

A post shared by ɢʏʟʟᴇɴʜᴏʟʟᴀɴᴅ (@jake.and.tom) on Sep 29, 2019 at 8:22am PDT

 

(and because Instagram doesn't embed cooperatively any longer, a screenshot below of the post)
 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Also in the past week, Big Sis Maggie came out with her own Vanity Fair interview, a la Jake, and stepped out (allegedly) with Peter at the New York Film Festival.  Narnia isn't seeing solid proof that Peter  was there.  And it was her new Vanity Fair interview which helped to robot-stuff her brother's Twitter search for a day or two, while chatting about Donnie Darko.  Very handy how that works!

Such a flurry of activity from everyone, where to look, what to think?! So what do we take away from this week that was?  

For one, alot of look-over-here while Jake rejoins his real life family.  Narnia is accustomed to that kind of smoke and mirrors though, right?  There's something else and that is number two, that Jake undoubtedly will do additional Spiderman flicks.   This is why Sturridge was so abruptly kicked to the curb and Cadieu immediately rolled out, literally onto the sidewalk, before the doors of the Hudson Theater were even locked, lol.

The Spiderman universe is bigger than Prince of Persia ever was.  Jake would never have gone to the extent that he did this past week, but for the push from behind onto the ship's plank from Team Mara and Sony.  That was all publicist Mara Buxbaum and Sony Movies behind the Cadieu photoshopped, I mean NYC, walkabouts.  Besides, it really doesn't matter that they're photoshopped, right?  We can see this, yes.  But to the masses, they're not looking closely enough (or care) to notice and people like Mara, Sony and Marvel count on that.  

It's possible that Jake very well may need to "marry" his French beard.  It wouldn't be a real marriage because in reality, he is legally married to Austin so he can't be a bigamist.  But like some Hollywood marriages these days, one doesn't need to have a blood test and piece of paper to be portrayed as married anymore.  All you need is a "private" barn location and a few enabling "guests" for the wedding and the assistance of Instagram, People.com and The Daily Fail.

Jake and Austin are reaching an impasse due to their ages.  Look at this comment from the Daily Fail post on one of the NYC walkabouts:

More people are going to be like TheRealDangermouse, if they're not already, for those who aren't as familiar with Jake.

For those who are?  Well, there were these interesting and knowing words from that particular demographic. 

And there were many, many more in the Daily Fail thread, the vast majority not buying the photos with Cadieu.  For some reason, Jake just doesn't get away with the pretense like a Ryan Reynolds or Hugh Jackman.  And so it might be that we see Jake coerced into a fake marriage, a la Justin Bieber.

It doesn't benefit for Austin to.  No one knows who Chumley is and Austin isn't as high profile.  It's Jake who is and it's Jake who is Mysterio.  So we'll see.  Either way, Narnia has no intentions of dropping the ball regarding following this continuing story.

While this writer likes to have some fun, the intent is not to fault Jake entirely for this path, because there's a very long story and history to his situation, right?  It's always clear since the days of Witherspoon, that Jake is not comfortable bearding. He doesn't handle it near as well as Austin has. But he's the main breadwinner. He's the face of the Gyllenhaal family, undoubtedly with the careers of Big Sis Maggie, ex-bro-in-law Peter Sarsgaard and mother Naomi Foner still riding on his back and digging their heels in to his sides.  Pressure from peers.  There are a lot of small dividends who now depend on him and Austin to provide for them. 

There's a comic con approaching next weekend, Ace Comic Con in Rosemont, IL (near O'Hare Airport) and Jake will be appearing with Tom Holland as part of the Spiderman universe.  Chris Hemsworth is also scheduled to appear.  Unlike with his beards, Jake throws himself into the mearding, lol.  He cannot help himself, wedding band or no wedding band.  The mearding and burial of Austin should be in its highest gear, since the stakes have visibly been risen.  The following weekend, it will be Austin's turn at the con circuit as he appears at the Walker Stalker in Atlanta, GA. Sandwiched in between is Baby Tile #1's birthday.  Narnia says these next two weeks could be lawn chair worthy.

pic sources:  IHJ, popsugar, Daily Fail, techolac, Just Jared,

                     reaction gifs, PeruTV

our playlist:  I'm Not Your Man - Tommy Conwell

                     Brokeback Mountain Suite - City of Prague 

                                                                    Philharmonic

                     Brokeback Mountain Suite - Gay Men's Chorus of

                                                                   Los Angeles

                     The Way It Is - Bruce Hornsby & the Range