Because of previous experiences with the likes of Cannes 2017 and then that whole Met Gala Spectacle of 2017 , any time there's a film festival or high profile party attended by Jake Gyllenhaal, the stunt antennae must be activated. For our fave guy, the Sundance Film Festival 2018 was almost flawless. Almost 100% top notch and Windex clear. But like a child unable to resist kicking a rain boot up in a puddle, Jake's team and Big Sis were up to some "distractions", which obviously they felt were "helpful" to Jake. As only they can do.
So, Jake appeared at the Sundance Festival all professional and such with co-star Carey Mulligan and director Paul Dano. While we were denied more of those playful hand-holding pics with Mr. Dano, there did seem to be some lost-in-the-moment goings on, didn't there ? Aaah, these boys will be boys after all!
A-hem. ;-)
Jake's Sundance stay was drive-thru at best. He was in...
and then he was out, like a thief in the night.
Not that Management and Big Sis didn't try. They were flag waving and bell clanging in an effort to show otherwise. And we'll also give an extra credit sticker to Marcus Mumford and Carey Mulligan as well, for their hinky efforts. Let's play Sister Wendy for a moment and look at some pictures from Sundance.
At first, there was a tweet tease:
Jake Gyllenhaal and Marcus Mumford just hugged at Wildlife screening and my indie heart melted #sundance— Leigh B. Z. (@leighblickley) January 20, 2018
It took awhile, but eventually by the next day, the first picture was released. Jake with his best "rendered speechless" look,
and of course, the classic "back of the head" shot on who looks to be Marcus. One can also see
Anyway, Carey seems to have found something extraordinarily funny, didn't she? Jake? Not so much!
More pictures were delay-released; these were admittedly better:
And another:
ONE more time...this time, some outdoor shots, complete with added snow effects aka snow filter , I mean falling snow...
I guess Carey's left leg is directly hidden by her right one? I'm just kind of wondering! [There's a second picture in the post, but it's not any more helpful.] Maybe whoever was in the photo lab could use some human anatomy lessons.
Hmmm....I don't know...we'll table this for now.
Then there was the expected support from the women in Jake's life - the matriarch and Big Sis. As we've come to expect, the male members of his immediate family were nowhere to be found: the patriarch and bro-in-law. [And, while we're at it, "Where's Leo?"]
lol, where's Leo. Anyway, so following the Wildlife after party, it looks like Jake ambled over to the Indie Film Project party to spend time watching Big Sis try her hand at singing.
Er...here we go.
Here are Maggie Gyllenhaal and Martha Wainwright singing together at this #Sundance indie film party pic.twitter.com/M7cz89s4G5— A.B. (@AlannaBennett) January 21, 2018
And there was lil' bro watching from afar, against the wall. Not a brick wall, but rather a Utah natural wood one, but a wall nonetheless. ;-)
WARNING: Personal Protective Equipment (aka PPE) is advised before viewing the following:
— Maggie Gyllenhaal (@mgyllenhaal) January 23, 2018
This video appeared two days later. Do NOT blink! You'll miss it. Pfft!
And finally, this shot, [no doubt intended to be the deal-sealer as far as Jake's attendance was concerned], complete with the matriarch, Big Sis and lil' bro all in the same frame:
No treading on personal space in that picture, is there? Could they all be any further apart? And, what is wrong with Jake's legs, they seem to go on forever in all directions. Let's include a Perspective Drawing class to go with that Human Anatomy course work. lol.
And THEN? He was gone. Poof! No witnesses, no "canary singing" cab driver, no departure photos. Jake slipped out into the night.
via GIPHY
No "hold 'em, Dano" pics, no OTT bromance tales a la Ryan Reynolds, no Lily Collins dress carrying and yet, this festival could not be shared with the class without the hinky, could it?
One needs to ask why? Let's put it this way.
Jake is a "single" and what appears to be a robust (aka fertile), vibrant young man of 37, free of commitments and a filming schedule at the present time. He was in and out of the festival like the character of Moonlight Graham in Field of Dreams. Yet, we are supposed to believe he was at the Indie Film Celebration party on Saturday evening, when the evidence doesn't quite match up to the official narrative.
And on the other end of the spectrum, we had Maggie Gyllenhaal, aka Big Sis. She's "married" and has two small girls, none of whom were seen to be with her (the excuse no doubt being that they were in school). And Maggie was at the festival earlier than Jake as her movie Kindergarten Teacher premiered on Friday the 19th. She was also at this party, then a premiere (including Ethan Hawke's premiere on Sunday evening), a songfest and an interview, another photo shoot, ♪ lalala ♪♪☺. She was all over the place in all kinds of different outfits, apparently not in a hurry to get home to "New York City" and her "family".
What's wrong with this picture? And, shall we go into all the ways why the promotion of Marcus Mumford being in attendance seems so questionable?
Well, maybe because Jake left town without two critical money $hots. Never mind the reasons why he might have left town so early. Remember that domestic pull is a powerful one.
1) Jake did not join in on stage with Maggie and Martha Wainwright. After all, how many holiday photos/vids have we had of Jake taking up the karaoke mic with the likes of a singalong with Maggie several Christmases ago. And, just last year, with Broadway's Claybourne Elder. Suddenly, Jake is suffering from a severe case of wallflower syndrome on a window seat. Hmmm.
2) Jake failed to take a picture with Marcus Mumford. This too, would have been a money shot. Like this outing at a Lakers game in May 2013. But, who knows if this coupling was even real given these two's bizarre history in the "spotlight".
Aaaah, another festival, another mystery to solve. We here at Narnia will be exploring these Jake Gyllenhaal and Marcus Mumford "photo" opportunities in the near future, because I think M&M and I may need to dig into our mad money cans and get ourselves a couple of mystery machine cycles. ;D
via GIPHY
collaborated: PG and M&M
pic sources: IHJ, Giphy, Reddit, Daily Fail
our playlist: Please Don't Go - Double U
Easy Come, Easy Go - Bobby Sherman
Bye Bye Love - The Cars
Closing Time - Semisonic
