Showing posts with label Sundance 2018. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sundance 2018. Show all posts

Monday, September 3, 2018

Living the George Costanza Way - That's "Our" Boys


Sitting in the next booth watching WME/IMG/Endeavor Era Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols having themselves a lil' reminder conversation:


I think that's Austin as George Costanza teaching his other half Jake as Jerry Seinfeld, his wily ways since 2002.  Right, buddy?  ;-)  Like Eddie Haskell leading Wally Cleaver down the wrong path....
Sort of.

 So anyway, since last we "saw" our fave twosome Jake and Austin, they were on a collision course of both possibly being in Italy at the same time, crossing streams and all of that.  At least, Austin for sure, right?  Austin was promoted to be coming to Tricase, Italy for the Salento International Film Festival 2018 where his flick, The Iron Orchard, would greet everyone opening night.

 Even as late as August 31, Austin was scheduled.

 Google translation:


The edition of this year - number 15 - opens with the national premiere of the film "The Iron Orchard", screened Saturday, September 1 at 20.30 at the throne room of Palazzo Gallone. Hassie Harrison and Austin Nichols, the two main actors, will be present at the evening, in addition to the producer Camille Chambers. The film is in English with Italian subtitles. Free admission while seats last. - source


In the throne room of the Palazzo Gallone.  The Palazzo Gallone began as a military tower built in the 15th century,  complete with a prison and a drawbridge.  It was purchased in 1661 by the Prince of Tricase, Stefano Gallone along with a nearby fortress and he added the palace.  The prison's walls are said to still show graffiti of captives and the palace held a mill, bakery, stables and warehouse space.  Prince Gallone was said to want "as many rooms as there were days in the year" and also a "throne room", which is 79.7' x 38' (24.3 x 11.70 meters), large enough to hold more than a thousand people.   It was this throne room where Austin and his beard, Hassle "Hassie" Harrison were to participate in a Q & A along with The Iron Orchard's producer, Camille Chambers.




Exterior portion of the Palazzo Gallone:


What history, what architecture! A real castle with a moat, drawbridge, noble rooms.  And free admission to see Austin! You certainly can't beat this opportunity.

 And Austin "coming all the way" to Tricase, Italy to promote The Iron Orchard via a Q & A.  Quite the opportunity since he was apparently unable to join in this Q & A which was held in Dallas in April of this year:

This above Q & A in Dallas was on April 19.  Where was Austin? Wellll, we're not exactly sure.  On the weekend of March 19, he was in Wilmington NC. We know this for certain because Florida Tom and I were there; we saw him and shook his hand. On April 22 just three days after the Dallas Q & A, he was allegedly "somewhere in Texas" for Earth Day:


A post shared by Austin Nichols (@austinnichols) on
 

Then, in early May, at the Dallas International Film Festival (allegedly).  Here he is posing with the dimbulb beard (courtesy of an enabling, Mgmnt-taken-over twitter):


Even though according to The Iron Orchard's official Instagram page, they show neither one of these clowns, I mean individuals in their DIFF selection (perhaps they were at the concession stand getting screening snacks) According to this attendee, the screening was private:


We at Narnia know that Austin fans are waiting for real-time pictures of the DGA card holder in Italy at the Salento Film Festival!!


Agree with this long time, devoted Austin fan.  They must have been waiting with abated breath like the rest of us and imagine also being in the same country as her tweet seems to indicate!  Imagine that.  ;-)

 But alas.

 September 1 has come and gone and we are sad to say that, well...
we're all left looking yonder for hide or hair of Mr. Nichols at the Salento Film Festival.

We see that allegedly, producer Camille Scioli-Mcnamara was there.  But it looks like Austin and Hassle were NO SHOWS.


 
So whaaa? What happened?  Where was the beard? Looks like that same day, she was on a boat somewhere. "Doing the least." No kidding.

And Austin?  Perhaps this was him.

And Jake?  Well, his movie The Sisters Brothers showing at Venice 2018 had representation:

Because remember of course, Jake is filming, working on Spiderman: Far From Home for which we still have been awaiting an official announcement that he is confirmed.  Even today, IMDb is reluctant to commit:

But it looks like Jake will be done filming Far From Home just in time for the Toronto Film Festival, one he just doesn't seem to miss.

Looks like Wildlife is playing as well. He couldn't make Cannes, perhaps TIFF will see a Jakers double play:

Meanwhile, Jake's social media team has already been warming up things, at-the-ready with the Jake/Riz Ahmed romance with the reliable assistance of former Vulture writer, now with the New York Times, Kyle Buchanan. We've seen Mr. Buchanan before:



And now he's back at it, preaching to us that Jake and lil' Riz are two lobsters made for each other.  Awww. Maybe Jake's new bromantic interest can help politically inspire him in time for the press junket interviews. ;-)
 
Watch it, Baby Tiles.  Papa's back at it again, looks like.  ;-)  Another movie, another set romance with his male co-star or male director, courtesy of his thoughtful agent.  Looking forward to perhaps some Jake/Riz hand clutching at Toronto, a la Jake and his director Paul Dano at Cannes!  Thanks for the heads up, Mr. Buchanan.  NYT promotion, I mean check's in the mail, right?  *wink*

                                                          Jake & Paul 2017

Jake and his politically-inspiring lobster, Riz. #aw

 And Big Sis? She is making the trek from "Vermont" to screen her film, The Kindergarten Teacher.  It'll be another 3/4 Gyllenhaal Reunion; who could forget this photoshop, I mean photo from Sundance 2018 of the threesome?


Looking forward to another round, folks!

 In reality, Jake, Austin, their Baby Tiles, Big Sis Maggie and her two daughters, and the matriarch Naomi Foner have already loaded the barge and returned Stateside in preparation for a return to work, with a drop-off of the hubs and collective offspring somewhere between customs and Toronto.

 But, we'll be polite and patiently wait for the first narrative.  After all, if we can wait for Salento FF pics, we can surely wait for TIFF.


Note:  Because Instagram has made it impossible (that I know of) to embed anymore, here are some of the Instagram posts that are in the post above, in order of appearance in the post.

 

the Iron Orchard promo in Dallas, TX - where was Austin?


 

Austin "somewhere in Texas", for Earth Day, Apr 22, 2018

 

 

Austin and Chumley missing for Salento Film Festival Sep 1, 2018

 

 

John C Reilly for The Sisters Brothers, Sept 2018


  


pic/reference sources:  itinerari.galcapodileuca.it, pinterest, 123rf,
                                    gfycat, Portia d'Oriente, IHJ, IMDb
our playlist: Escape - Enrique Iglesias
                    Wishing and Hoping - Dusty Springfield
                    Ghosttown - Madonna               
                                  

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Sunday, January 28, 2018

Jake Gyllenhaal Leaving Sundance 2018 with Everything But the Money Shot


Because of previous experiences with the likes of Cannes 2017 and then that whole Met Gala Spectacle of 2017 , any time there's a film festival or high profile party attended by Jake Gyllenhaal, the stunt antennae must be activated.  For our fave guy, the Sundance Film Festival 2018 was almost flawless. Almost 100% top notch and Windex clear. But like a child unable to resist kicking a rain boot up in a puddle, Jake's team and Big Sis were up to some "distractions", which obviously they felt were "helpful" to Jake.  As only they can do.


So, Jake appeared at the Sundance Festival all professional and such with co-star Carey Mulligan and director Paul Dano. While we were denied more of those playful hand-holding pics with Mr. Dano, there did seem to be some lost-in-the-moment goings on, didn't there ? Aaah, these boys will be boys after all!



A-hem.  ;-)

Jake's Sundance stay was drive-thru at best.  He was in...



 and then he was out, like a thief in the night.  

 Not that Management and Big Sis didn't try.  They were flag waving and bell clanging in an effort to show otherwise.  And we'll also give an extra credit sticker to Marcus Mumford and Carey Mulligan as well, for their hinky efforts.  Let's play Sister Wendy for a moment and look at some pictures from Sundance.

 At first, there was a tweet tease:


 

It took awhile, but eventually by the next day, the first picture was released.  Jake with his best "rendered speechless" look,

and of course, the classic "back of the head" shot on who looks to be Marcus.  One can also see beard, I mean "wife" Carey Mulligan in the photo, her distinctly cut-out hair causing this author to reminisce about those fun peel-and-stick Colorforms for some reason. 


  

Anyway, Carey seems to have found something extraordinarily funny, didn't she?  Jake?  Not so much! 


More pictures were delay-released; these were admittedly better:
Carey Mulligan and her husband Marcus Mumford of Mumford and Sons. He might be a little tired considering he just appeared on Ellen and he played at The Forum in LA ▪️ [Sundance Film Festival, Wildlife premiere, Utah, 1.20.18.] ▪️ Jake’s new movie Wildlife is directed by Paul Dano with Carey Mulligan and Ed Oxenbould. Synopsis : Montana, 1960 - A portrait of a family in crisis. A boy watches his family fall apart after his mom finds another man. Based on the novel by Richard Ford #jakegyllenhaal #jake #gyllenhaal #jakegyllenhaaldaily #gyllenhaalic #gyllenhaalics #actor #actorslife #jg #pauldano #careymulligan #zoekazan #sundancefilmfestival #movie #movies #film #newyork #newyorkcity #sundance2018 #sundance18 #nyc #junepictures #edoxenbould #sundance #wildlifethemovie #wildlifemovie #mumfordandsons #marcusmumford
A post shared by Jake G Fan Account (@jakeovereverything) on


And another:


Carey Mulligan with her husband Marcus Mumford. Jake has been friends with Carey Mulligan for many years. Her husband is actually one of Jake’s best friends, Marcus is in the band Mumford and Sons. ▪️Wildlife premiere 🔥🔥 ▪️ [Sundance Film Festival, Utah, 1.20.18.] ▪️ Jake’s new movie Wildlife is directed by Paul Dano with Carey Mulligan and Ed Oxenbould. Synopsis : Montana, 1960 - A portrait of a family in crisis. A boy watches his family fall apart after his mom finds another man. Based on the novel by Richard Ford #jakegyllenhaal #jake #gyllenhaal #jakegyllenhaaldaily #gyllenhaalic #gyllenhaalics #actor #actorslife #jg #pauldano #careymulligan #zoekazan #sundancefilmfestival #movie #movies #film #newyork #newyorkcity #sundance2018 #sundance18 #nyc #junepictures #edoxenbould #sundance #wildlifethemovie #wildlifemovie #ninestories
A post shared by Jake G Fan Account (@jakeovereverything) on
 
ONE more time...this time, some outdoor shots, complete with added snow effects aka snow filter , I mean falling snow...




I guess Carey's left leg is directly hidden by her right one?  I'm just kind of wondering! [There's a second picture in the post, but it's not any more helpful.] Maybe whoever was in the photo lab could use some human anatomy lessons.

Hmmm....I don't know...we'll table this for now. 

Then there was the expected support from the women in Jake's life - the matriarch and Big Sis.  As we've come to expect, the male members of his immediate family were nowhere to be found:  the patriarch and bro-in-law. [And, while we're at it, "Where's Leo?"]



lol, where's Leo.  Anyway, so following the Wildlife after party, it looks like Jake ambled over to the Indie Film Project party to spend time watching Big Sis try her hand at singing.

Er...here we go.


 

And there was lil' bro watching from afar, against the wall. Not a brick wall, but rather a Utah natural wood one, but a wall nonetheless.  ;-)



WARNING: Personal Protective Equipment (aka PPE) is advised before viewing the following:



This video appeared two days later.  Do NOT blink! You'll miss it. Pfft!


 

And finally, this shot, [no doubt intended to be the deal-sealer as far as Jake's attendance was concerned], complete with the matriarch, Big Sis and lil' bro all in the same frame:




No treading on personal space in that picture, is there? Could they all be any further apart? And, what is wrong with Jake's legs, they seem to go on forever in all directions. Let's include a Perspective Drawing class to go with that Human Anatomy course work. lol.  

 And THEN?  He was gone.  Poof!  No witnesses, no "canary singing" cab driver, no departure photos.  Jake slipped out into the night.

via GIPHY 


No "hold 'em, Dano" pics, no OTT bromance tales a la Ryan Reynolds, no Lily Collins dress carrying and yet, this festival could not be shared with the class without the hinky, could it?  

One needs to ask why?  Let's put it this way.

Jake is a "single" and what appears to be a robust (aka fertile), vibrant young man of 37,  free of commitments and a filming schedule at the present time.  He was in and out of the festival like the character of Moonlight Graham in Field of Dreams.  Yet, we are supposed to believe he was at the Indie Film Celebration party on Saturday evening, when the evidence doesn't quite match up to the official narrative.

And on the other end of the spectrum, we had Maggie Gyllenhaal, aka Big Sis.  She's "married" and has two small girls, none of whom were seen to be with her (the excuse no doubt being that they were in school).  And Maggie was at the festival earlier than Jake as her movie Kindergarten Teacher premiered on Friday the 19th.  She was also at this party, then a premiere (including Ethan Hawke's premiere on Sunday evening), a songfest and an interview, another photo shoot, ♪ lalala ♪♪☺.  She was all over the place in all kinds of different outfits, apparently not in a hurry to get home to "New York City" and her "family".  

What's wrong with this picture?   And, shall we go into all the ways why the promotion of Marcus Mumford being in attendance seems so questionable?

 Well, maybe because Jake left town without two critical money $hots. Never mind the reasons why he might have left town so early. Remember that domestic pull is a powerful one.

1)  Jake did not join in on stage with Maggie and Martha Wainwright.  After all, how many holiday photos/vids have we had of Jake taking up the karaoke mic with the likes of a singalong with Maggie several Christmases ago. And, just last year, with Broadway's Claybourne Elder.  Suddenly, Jake is suffering from a severe case of wallflower syndrome on a window seat.  Hmmm.

 2)  Jake failed to take a picture with Marcus Mumford.  This too, would have been a money shot. Like this outing at a Lakers game in May 2013. But, who knows if this coupling was even real given these two's bizarre history in the "spotlight".
So what happened last Saturday night at Sundance?

Aaaah, another festival, another mystery to solve. We here at Narnia will be exploring these Jake Gyllenhaal and Marcus Mumford "photo" opportunities in the near future, because I think M&M and I may need to dig into our mad money cans and get ourselves a couple of mystery machine cycles.  ;D


via GIPHY 


 collaborated:  PG and M&M
pic sources:  IHJ, Giphy, Reddit, Daily Fail
our playlist:  Please Don't Go - Double U
                     Easy Come, Easy Go - Bobby Sherman
                     Bye Bye Love - The Cars
                     Closing Time - Semisonic
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