Sunday, May 7, 2017

Hokum, Bunkum, Bupkis: Jake Gyllenhaal and the Met Gala, 2017 edition


The day began with surefire assurance carefully bookended next to spoon-fed ambiguity.  In the world of Jake Gyllenhaal, a typical pre-arranged tweet that shenanigans soon would be following later that evening.


Enter the inevitable head fake, razzle dazzle series of tweets to try to place Jake in California late the night before. A 1D "fan" account conveniently providing the late night contrivance. While another 1D "fan" with over 58K "tweets" strategically fills in the gap to lend more credibility to the sighting.  Even identifying Jake's Audi mode of transportation in the darkness of night.  Riiiight.


GPS positioning provided.


Fast forward to the day of the Met Gala, and Twitter is curiously abuzz all afternoon (in a way never before seen) about whether or not Jake Gyllenhaal would be in attendance. Hardly a fashion icon, and not known to be dating any high profile model or actress, the social media chatter was completely out of proportion to public interest in Jake's personal situation. Sunday in the Park with George had completed it's very limited 10-week engagement and his last movie had already faded into oblivion almost the day it was released. In a nutshell, Jake didn't exactly have any current projects in the pipeline to cause such eager anticipation.

After several more social media conversations about will he or won't he be there, a discourse designed to create an artificial groundswell of suspense, the convenient "proof" suddenly appeared, like Kabbalah magic, amid the fret fest. Laughably the initial answer was provided with the over the top tweet of "so many new pictures of Jake Gyllenhaal," even though a mere glancing inspection of the photo collage reveals that there was really only one photo of Jake, duplicated four times.  Synchronized to follow the circus sideshow, here came the supporting evidence that Jake was really there, with sis Maggie once again helping to provide the lynchpin "proof"; similar to her simulated participation at the Women's March in January.





The key point to remember here is that there is not one photo of Jake and Maggie together at the Met Ball last Monday night. Not a single one. Even though Peter Sarsgaard was in NY and mysteriously not by his spouse's side, Jake had never shied away from stepping up for possible date night pics with his sister. They even walked the red carpet together at the Met Gala in 2014 when Peter was once again in absentia. Why not this time?

Instead we get a closely cropped, deceptive side by side of them supposedly together at the Boom Boom Room after party. A photo that could have been taken anytime, anywhere. Notice too that Jake doesn't have a bow tie in the "after party" image and his chest girth is much broader than the other photos the media was portraying as being from that night. Another oddity was that the normally uninhibited siblings were not touching any part of their bodies. Their arms were not even around one another. That alone would be cause for suspicion given the well-known intimate physicality of their previous public poses, dating back to the early 2000s. In fact, where is Jake's right arm anyway? And what happened to his neck? His head is literally sitting inside his shirt. Truly pathetic. #PhotoshopFail

                                  After Party, Met Gala 2017  -  Not one body part touching





















Compare with the uninhibited Met Gala Red Carpet, 2014




Following the meticulous roll out earlier in the evening, more set up tweets gradually began to appear to provide additional supporting evidence of Jake's attendance. One person even wondering if Jake might be seen "third wheeling" it with fellow attendees, Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively. Drum roll, please. Miraculously, like a lighting bolt from the sky, the ready made visual answer was presented. The tweeter quickly noting that they must be able to predict the future to further hit home the idea that the opportune timing of the photo was really just a lucky guess by a random fan.





Lucky guess aside, let's look a bit closer at this supposed friendly gathering of the "super-private" Pound Ridge neighbors. Notice, how awkward and unrealistic the shot of the "happy" trio is. Somehow there is no social interaction between these close friends we heard so much about during "Life" promo.  Jake's line of sight is not even on Blake, and Ryan looks like he's off on his own as he saunters along, not a care in the world. Almost as if the backdrop is a canvas and three separate photos of each person have been inserted/layered into the frame. The well-known technique known as Photomanips, which would be automatically tagged as such on Tumblr, is business as usual for entertainment industry management teams who hire professional photo editors, with the expressed intent to deceive. The goal being to fool the public and create a false "record" of someone being somewhere or with someone they are not.

Don't forget the technique can be applied to video as well. As we can see in this four-second footage (what professional takes only four seconds of video?) of Jake jogging up the stairs, with the event's carpet blurred and Jake's feet more than fleeting. Blurred images and the cutting off of feet often clues of chicanery. Moreover, I thought Jake didn't walk the carpet at the Gala? Then again, narrative consistency is not exactly PR's strong suit. That Shutterstock watermark was a nice touch as well, don't you think?






For someone as deep in the closet as Jake Gyllenhaal, who is officially supposed to live in New York when he's not working, photomanips have been consistently used as early as 2011, albeit in a far more awkward and sloppy manner.  Six years later, however, with the availability of far more sophisticated digital technology and software, his desperate team are now applying this tool to more high profile events. Hoping no one will notice that the Emperor has no clothes.

How to Add People Into a Photo

Oh My Godot - Family Shoppin' Yom Kippur (October 2011)


Of course, there were other photos from that night with a select group of enablers like Nick Kroll, Andrew Rannells, and Hugh Jackman. All more than happy to help Jake out for the evening. In fact, the benefit of placing Jake mostly at the After Party allowed enough photos from the event to be published/posted in real time so his "media" team could use actual footage to layer in other folks who were known to be there that evening for added verisimilitude. Kroll and Jackman have WME ties and Rannells recently shared Jake's gum at the Tonys. I mean, when you've shared saliva with someone, what's a few more stunts between friends.

Given all the special effects people that were on the clock that night, I'm just surprised PR didn't figure out a way to work in Leo Gyllenhaal. That really would have been the cherry on top, particularly since we were told Jake didn't have a date for the evening.  Then again rumor has it that Leo's Valentino tux didn't arrive on time for a proper fitting to take place. Ah well. There's always next year. And, there is already much talk in certain chic circles that Mr. Leo is planning for a more daring red carpet look. One that will make heads turn.

Camera Ready


pic sources:  wiki, pinterest, Just Jared, Twitter
our playlist:  Do You Believe in Magic? - The Lovin' Spoonful
                     Magic Man - Heart
                     Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones



5 comments:

prairiegirl said...

I watched that night on Twitter the way Jake's people manipulated Twitter, delaying any pictures of him and then finally releasing one single, lone, "exclusive" photo.

Then they used his "fan twitter accounts" to start wailing and crying for more pictures. Where were the pictures? Why was Jake being "slept on"?

By morning, the slow rollout began and it was a molasses rollout if I ever saw one.

If Jake was really there, there's no reason to hide. Why do you have to play games like that? You don't. There should be nothing to hide - either you're there or you're not.

Methodical Muser said...


Here are two photoshop tips regarding putting together composite pics and the inclusion of feet:

Darken the Feet

This is one of the best-kept secrets in the compositing world. If you’ve got a full-body composite, and you place a person’s feet on the ground, one of the telltale signs that it’s fake is typically going to be around the feet. It’s really hard to get shadows and lighting to look perfect when the person wasn’t really standing there. We have tricks that we can do and one great way to hide what was done is to take people’s attention away from it. Since we’re drawn to looking at the brighter parts of a photo, darkening the feet helps keep people from focusing on them and the fact that something may not be quite right. Trust me, from this moment on, take a look at every ad or movie poster you see where you think something may be composited and look at the feet. Nine times out of 10, you’ll see it’s darker at the bottom.

Don't Include the Feet

This is another great secret in the compositing world. If at all possible, create the image so that you don’t have the feet included. You’d be surprised at how much feeling, movement, and mood you can create in an image, even if you don’t see the person’s entire body. Again, keep an eye out for movie posters and magazine ads, and you’ll see that most of the images that seem like they must be a composite don’t even have the people’s feet in them.


http://www.graphics.com/article-old/10-things-you-need-know-about-compositing-photoshop

prairiegirl said...

And then you look at the celebrities that Jake was paired with photographically and many have a co-reason to enable because like Hugh Jackman and Ryan Reynolds, they're both in the closet and have everything to hide. That's why they have no hesitation to help Jake, and have a stake in keeping the Hollywood closet alive and well.

Jake is keeping dangerous company in the likes of Jackman and Reynolds because they're two very high profile celebs who have no hesitation in lying to the public. But the deeper he and Austin remain and cement themselves in, the more they will be seen with the likes of these types of folks. It's a pretty bad sign.

But anyway, what I also found interesting was the name Nick Kroll - he was one of the guys Jake is photo'd with from that evening. Nick Kroll was a very prominent person from that whole SXSW of 2016.

The girls who were used to get that picture leaked, they had used Nick Kroll several times in their tweets from Bangers. I found that very interesting. And of course, in digging back through emails from that day, found that Nick Kroll is also represented by WME, just like Jake. And just like Reynolds.

Methodical Muser said...


Although it's not explicitly stated in our post, it's obvious Jake is not in NY. He is with Austin and the kids somewhere enjoying some much deserved downtime. But, he doesn't have the cover of a movie set or a stage right now so his people use high profile NY events like the Met Gala to place him there.

Also note, just like at the Women's March in January, Peter is nowhere to be found. But, there's Maggie. Always willing to lend a hand to help sell the idea of Jake being somewhere. And, by the way Peter was in Long Island at a People's Climate March that day and easily could have attended. At least, according to the official narrative.

destiny said...

LOL you cracked me up with that last picture.