As we know in an OTP world, when a holiday is on the way [and it doesn't matter which one it is], we can count on Management Teams being out in force to geographically "separate" their closeted clients. Sometimes spoon feeding is proactively started before the holiday to set the stage for what is to come. In other words, the holiday itself may be quiet, but the teams will have "established" that the two men are nowhere near each other, or are involved in their own individual family situation, apart from the other half.
With an impeccable sense of timing, we here at Narnia were slowly sipping our favorite beverage of choice when suddenly Austin Nichols appeared in our view. Now, we pretty much haven't seen Austin since another National Day of Observance, Father's Day, which also coincidentally was a day after his & Jake's tenth wedding anniversary. But, with the Fourth of July just around the corner, the next vaudeville show has already begun, via its customary enabling twitter account, which is primarily used to peddle concocted Instagram Stories. Because otherwise, what self-respecting pap would ever seek them out. *wink*
With the stage set, let's take a look at Austin displaying the fruits of his socializing labor, so to speak.
— Austin Nichols daily (@AustinNsource) June 29, 2018
Making sure to get the beard, Hassle Harrison, into the video shot is naturally a must:
— Austin Nichols daily (@AustinNsource) July 1, 2018
The most important factor to remember with Instagram Stories is that they are based on uploaded photos or videos, meaning that the "creator" has free rein to select from a Gallery of options, aka file. To be clear, this means that the posted media that generously appears on a Sunday morning is not necessarily a real time occurrence. And, with closeted celebrities very much wanting to be seen to project a certain image and story line, yet simultaneously hiding their real whereabouts, the likelihood of a real time moment being captured is a rare event. Another point to remember, although not in this case, but utilized ad nauseam with former beard Chlo Bennet, voice overs can be synced with the video. Just because you hear a voice (a la Genevieve Cortese Padalecki) talking over a video doesn't mean that person is physically there. A voice-over technique can be utilized, meaning the lead "actor" or "actors" can be anywhere.
So here we are in 2018, and just like with Chlo Bennet, Austin is once again employing a beard to geographically place himself far away from his real family, especially for high profile occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and holidays. What's even more hilarious is the ramping up of this new fauxmance is beginning in July, nearly a year to the day of his announced "breakup" with his third official beard, Faux Chlo on July 4 of last year. While Austin understandably needed a vacation to coincide with Jake's hardly working status, Bennet moved on immediately with that PR nightmare of a hook-up, Logan Paul, whom we learned was her new "boyfriend." In fact, the big reveal happened...wait for it...on Instagram!!! To quote EXTRA:
On July 4, Bennet posted a pic of herself with a shirtless Logan, writing, "Understated festivities going on over here. @soniamichelle @loganpaul.”
Bwahaha! Who writes this stuff?
While Chlo has been getting the maximum benefit out of being paired with a viral You Tuber who thinks posting a video on his social media channel of a suicide victim is "newsworthy" click bait, Austin seems to be stuck in neutral right now with a beard who has no publicity benefits for him at all since she is not a sought after actress, not even medium profile. She apparently has the right qualifications, however, because of her previous bearding resume. Narnia came across the following article, which was quite amusing indeed. From April 2017:
American
actor Wilson Bethel has been at the center of the gay rumors for a very long
time. It is normal for celebrities as they are bound to get hit with the rumors
with regards to their personal life. But is he really a gay? Does he have a
girlfriend? Is he married? Let us find out.
Is Wilson A Gay And Is He Dating Or Seeing Anyone?
Wilson
has been able to cement a firm place in the acting industry with all that he
has accomplished thus far. But along with success, he has also earned some
rumors and mostly those rumors are directed towards his sexuality. People often
call him a gay but is he really a gay?
Well,
he might not be a gay as back in 2013, he gave an interview in which he opened
up about him having a girlfriend.
When
the interviewer asked him who would his dream celeb date be, he answered,
"I
would score big points saying my girlfriend."
That
means that he indeed had a girlfriend then and hinted that she was in the same
industry but did not reveal who she was. - Wilson Bethel's Answer In An Interview Proves He Has A Girlfriend And Is Not A Gay Man; Still Dating Her?
Well, now. Because Mr. Bethel made such an affirmative statement in an interview, then it must be so!
And because "Hassle" tweeted this directly below, then she obviously was affirming confirmation.
— Hassie Harrison (@HassieHarrison) January 5, 2012
***UPDATED** - Uh oh!! Looks like someone has deleted this tweet now from Chumley's account. Hmmm....wonder why???
The article picks up from there:
Although
she did not name call anyone but we all know that she tweeted this when she was
with Wilson back in 2014.
Surely,
all of these answers from him shall be enough to smack those gay rumors as a
gay would not talk about having a female partner.
So it sounds like Wilson Bethel and Hassie were kind of serious? Rumors even circulated as late as 2014 that the happy couple might be heading down the aisle. Three years together. Hmm, was Hassie six when she started "dating" Mr. Bethel?
Wilson Bethel has been dating Hassie Harrison who is an actor too. She also
appeared in three episodes of “Hart of Dixie.” The couple was spotted together
many times.They were recently also seen together enjoying a beach in
Sydney. The couple was also seen together in jewelry stores closely looking at
pricey finger rings. That gave a hint to their engagement. However, none of the two have flashed about the engagement or marriage.
The relationship is, however, heating up and many of his fans speculated
them to be living together as a partner. Source: The Celebscloset.com - August 3, 2017
And, let's not ignore that one line of how they met. "She also appeared in three episodes of 'Hart of Dixie.' How curious that we didn't hear about Hassie and Austin until she was "auditioned" in more ways than one to co-star in Iron Orchard with Austin last year - at a time when stories were being published about her and Wilson getting serious. Oh, well. I guess Austin and Jake gave her an offer she couldn't refuse. Sorry, Wilson!
The whole set-up sounded a lot like how other OTPs "met" their beards. Jared Padalecki in particular comes to mind, since he supposedly met the ball and chain on the Supernatural set. Gee, if only Jake had thought ahead like Wilson Bethel and Jared, he would not have had about five different explanations over 48 days of how he and Taylor Swift "met" back in October 2010. First, Big Sis Maggie introduced them. Then Mommie Dearest. By December, when the contract was already running on fumes, about to be severed in early January, Jake's team finally settled on his good friend Gwyneth Paltrow as having been the matchmaker. Whew! Now, that wasn't so hard, was it, Jake? If only you had done that New Year's Eve film with her, which your team "cleverly" added to your IMDb page to provide a subliminal explanation for your odd pairing, you might have made a more plausible "couple."
The whole set-up sounded a lot like how other OTPs "met" their beards. Jared Padalecki in particular comes to mind, since he supposedly met the ball and chain on the Supernatural set. Gee, if only Jake had thought ahead like Wilson Bethel and Jared, he would not have had about five different explanations over 48 days of how he and Taylor Swift "met" back in October 2010. First, Big Sis Maggie introduced them. Then Mommie Dearest. By December, when the contract was already running on fumes, about to be severed in early January, Jake's team finally settled on his good friend Gwyneth Paltrow as having been the matchmaker. Whew! Now, that wasn't so hard, was it, Jake? If only you had done that New Year's Eve film with her, which your team "cleverly" added to your IMDb page to provide a subliminal explanation for your odd pairing, you might have made a more plausible "couple."
Indeed, the bearding and merkin pool in Hollywood is incestuous in a sense, with recycling, reconditioning, reincarnating, re-using and much re-purposing going on. Despite her abbreviated bearding dance card, Hassie Harrison didn't come to Jake and Austin's interview without references.
In this Just Jared post from September 2015, we see Hassle was hanging with some former enablers of Austin's - Chris Hardwick, Jaime King and Kyle Newman.
This was 2016, Hardwick again lending his social media to help out Austin and Chlo. Oh, and there's ol' Kyle Newman in the fun shot!
And it turns out that the first picture in the post of Hassie with Wilson Bethel was taken at a
Just an interesting aside; Jaime King's bestie? Tay Swift. You can also find social pics with Selena Gomez, Nina Dobrev, and Gigi Hadid. So it would seem that Hassie has been learning "the ropes" under strongly experienced tutelage and has "mystery blonde" qualifications. In a Daily Fail post from November 3, 2015, here is an actor by the name of Jason Dundas frolicking around on a beach with a "mystery blonde". Hmm, looks familiar....
Well, still kind of hard to tell. Let's try this one. Oh! - Yup, looks like Hassle!
Huh, well now wait a minute. This beach romp near Sydney, Australia was from November 3, 2015. But....she was supposed to be with Wilson Bethel, wasn't she?
Here was Hassie with "her man" in an Instagram post dated July 4, 2015, so just a few months before the Jason Dundas "sand session". On the beach (again) in Australia:
At least, that is what this article states, that they were still together as of April 2017.
**UPDATE** Well now lookee here. Yet another dead link directly up above "that is what this article states". Looks like someone wasn't too happy!
Hmmm well, sometimes social media and the internet can be a bit tricky in that way - a sense of timeline management is essential!
*wink*
Nonetheless, for the man who needs an abundance of free time to co-manage a full household, one that includes a partner who needs filming work time, the social media fauxmance is the perfect fit. Find a beard who doesn't require high profile rag time (a la Reese Witherspoon), who isn't a controversial twitter mess (a la Chloe Bennet), and can't immortalize the phony relationship with an entire song album (a la Taylor Swift).
Hassie "Hassle" Harrison provides the holiday "pre-occupation and distraction", the essential social media provision, a Jared Eng connection, and a friend network which translates to birthdays which translate to birthday parties to Instagram Story about. With Austin's real life hubby seemingly about to embark on a higher profile role with the lovely Sony studio, we will no doubt be seeing more of the token blonde adorning Austin's fabricated "private life".
Hopefully, Austin & Jake's team will not screw up the fauxmance timeline and beard-block any possible Jason Dundas-like beach romp. One thing is for sure, we can look forward to a torrent of embarrassing Instagram stories in the future. Some things never change.
pic sources: Daily Fail, LiveRampUp, Just Jared
our playlist: Beach Baby - First Class
Only in America - Brooks and Dunn
Yankee Doodle Dandy - The Fireside Singers
Thunder and Blazes - Ray Waters and his Orchestra
3 comments:
Boy is that little video of Austin awful. So clearly staged and they both look stupid in it. I didn't realize Austin had found a new beard. I know I hardly look at gossip sites anymore, and I know magazine sales have plunged. Do that many people care anymore?
In recent months I've read an article about how in some ways actors don't really matter in movies and shows. It's all about franchises and stories. Studios don't want to market based on stars so much in case something goes wrong, and because people don't really seem to care about that anymore. People are not going to turn out to a movie anymore just based on who the star is. Given all these changes, the continued bearding or insistence in HW on such is baffling to me.
Hi Destiny!
Given all these changes, the continued bearding or insistence in HW on such is baffling to me.
I know, you've got me. And it's funny because it looks like Jake is indeed going to be playing Mysterio in the next Spiderman movie, which is going to be put on by Sony. Sony is just about one of the worst companies as far as how they treat their contracted closeted clients. They have treated Louis and Harry just horrifically. Quite inhumane, really.
If you look at some of the Marvel/DC movies, there are those who got married like Benedict Cumberbatch and those who engaged in high profile fauxmances like Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift.
But look at who is the hottest right now - Sebastian Stan and Chris Evans. I have no doubt both of these men are gay. Neither one is bearding right now. Chris Evans did in the past but you never saw him and his "gf" on Just Jared all the time, not like you see other bearding celebs like Justin Timberlake or Ben Affleck. Sebastian Stan doesn't have to beard. But those two guys are hot tickets right now.
Will be interesting if Jake will have to beard or will they just make Austin do it?
Interesting points you brought. I can believe it. And it seems like this is probably why Jake is doing the Spidey film. He needs the money after some of his other films bombing at the box office, I guess? If you can't beat 'em, join 'em?
I think it's kind of cool, and his kids will think it's cool. But there's a lot of outside promo that goes with these kinds of films like conventions and the crowds/unpredictability that goes along with them, I'm not sure if Jake is ready for. He's used to a very controlled atmosphere and he's not going to get that at those conventions.
Boy is that little video of Austin awful. So clearly staged and they both look stupid in it. I didn't realize Austin had found a new beard. I know I hardly look at gossip sites anymore, and I know magazine sales have plunged.
She came along gradually, Destiny, and you didn't really see her hardly at all for the longest time. They tried to do insinuation pictures, like pretending she went over to Paris with him for the convention, yet you never saw them in the same pictures. But around his birthday? You began seeing her in a few pictures with Austin and then they posed on the red carpet together for The Iron Orchard.
I would imagine if Jake doesn't beard for his Mysterio role, then Austin and Hassle will ramp it up a bit. But the big problem they have is she is not famous. At all. No one knows who she is and so she's not going to bring any visibility at all to their fake relationship. That's kind of what we were talking about in that this is pretty much just a social media fauxmance. It's all Instagrams and Instagram stories, basically.
And with Austin not working makes it even worse. No one is paying any attention (except myself just about) on the internet. And all we're going to do is call them out on their silliness, so not really sure how this benefits either one of them.
Another thing we found out on Facebook is she comes from a lot of money and doesn't come across as a serious actress. Vocally, she sounds an awful lot like Chlo on video. They really know how to pick 'em for Austin, lol.
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