Narnia Dispatches will be the first to admit that it's not easy following Jake Gyllenhaal, 40, and his man, Austin Nichols. Neither has been seen much since the pandemic began unless it's before controlled Instagram cameras and it is a rarity when either's Instagram account (or in Austin's case, his Twitter) actually posts something.
Austin did work briefly for Jared Padalecki's show Walker and Jake has done some filming for a couple of projects. There has been a rash of announcements over the past several years for Jake regarding movie projects, so at least two of them have come to fruition already. (A little more on that later.) Aaaand we did have a couple of Cameos from Austin this past week. Otherwise, social media activity/visibility for both is usually, erm - all kinds of dried up. 😁
But just because Jake isn't active on a Twitter account, that doesn't mean his publicity team can't play in that sandbox. His team is kicking up the sand on a regular basis. And so in the last several weeks, Narnia has taken several of our regular perusings to see what was happening with his name search. *sigh*
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| whenever we check Jake's social media searches |
As mentioned before, Jake had a new endorsement campaign - for Prada fragrance. His commercial was released, which was pretty cool. Here's Jake in an interview for Prada, which comes with an "incoming-bullsh*t" warning.
Actor and producer #JakeGyllenhaal invites you to the journey of the modern adventurer. In his words, he evokes his collaboration with Prada Fragrances and explains how Luna Rossa Ocean makes him feel a deep connection with the Ocean.#PradaFragrances#OpeningNewHorizons pic.twitter.com/dLiRhiXYRG
— PRADA (@Prada) August 30, 2021
Some may find the "incoming" warning a bit harsh, but when you see the publicity stunt that accompanied the release of his ad, you really just have to question what motivation was behind all of this. (I mean, let's just go ahead and start with one of the big guns, People.com)
L.A. Times:
enews:
Gotta do TMZ, right? TMZ is a go-to for widespread attention:
And Jake trended on Twitter all day long, we are to assume this made long-time publicist Mara Buxbaum absolutely thrilled. This tweet has 3800+k "Likes" by who knows how many phony accounts. This twitter account name alone is beyond hinky.
And on and on it went all day long and into several weeks.
ha ha ha ha.
we're rolling here. Who's writing some of these, 4 year olds? Perhaps Jake's social media team found a Family Dollar Store-equivalent for the purchase of twitter accounts.
They even found a way to get publicity for Tay Swift and her upcoming re-release of Red which will garner Jake allllllll kinds of major publicity in one of his & Austin's top months for their children's birthdays.
There's just not even enough space in the cyber world for all of the fakery:
Team Jake Publicity even trying to get themselves some shout-out action:
Poor unclean, stinky Jake.
Hey, let's even tie the whole "stink-gate" to the whole Mysterio/Spiderman/Marvel world because we know that Jake isn't done with all that, so let's shoot some attention and publicity in that direction.
All of that (and that is not even a spore-sized sampling of the number and "quality" of publicity content Jake was receiving) stems from this interview he gave to (surprise!) Vanity Fair.
"More and more I find bathing to be less necessary, at times. I do believe, because Elvis Costello is wonderful, that good manners and bad breath get you nowhere. So I do that. But I do also think that there's a whole world of not bathing that is also really helpful for skin maintenance, and we naturally clean ourselves." - Jake in "Jake Gyllenhaal on Fast Boats, Extra -Thin Lox, and the Mysteries of Loofah", Vanity Fair, August 5, 2021
So an interview which focused on the new Prada fragrance ad and Jake being their new face is released to coincide with the official release of the video. There were numerous tweets which even speculated as to the sense of this.
And instead of this Jake,
Why wouldn't Prada use...
Even in recent years, fans would comment about Jake's appealing aroma. LOL!
From an Instagram post at Ace Comic Con in 2019, looks like Jake cared about the cleanliness AND smell of his clothes. Apparently, now this account calls herself ash.pughh, as opposed to 2019 when she was trashleypugh.
Well, well, well now. And even as far back as 2013, back when you could believe Twitter more easily than now.
Germophobe? There was also that chatter about Jake dating as far back as my early days on Oh My Godot.
Not just a germophobe. But, a MAJOR germophobe.
😂😂😂😂 LOL!
Jake's people constantly trying to re-write Jake's history with a few of us long-timers still around to dispute their ridiculous, lying, stunting ways is like watching the hamster on the wheel, isn't it? You gotta love it. What. Ever.
Now, to get a bit more serious though, if you're not paying close enough attention, you'll miss that Jake seems to be making a career pivot right now. (Yes, again!) Since he garnered the role of Mysterio in the tent pole flick Spiderman: Far From Home. Jake has been assembling an IMDb roster of upcoming projects, of monster proportions:
Goodness!! His company with "minder", I mean co-partner Riva Marker by the name of Nine Stories Productions, is producing projects left and right. Theater seems to be out the door, the discarded flavor of the month, and now Jake is all about starring in films and producing. His latest? What he hopes will be a franchise.
Let's hope this succeeds for him. It seems to be something both he and Austin have wanted, starting with the hopes for HBO's John From Cincinnati for Austin and Prince of Persia for Jake, neither of which panned out. Beginning with the role of Mysterio and moving on to roles which have or will allow him to work with the likes of Golden Globe winner Jessica Chastain, director Michael Bey, Oscar Isaac, etc. Jake seems to be moving to the inside, rather than on the outside looking in as far as Hollywood is concerned.
And by now, we all know what this means as far as required arm squiring of a bearding nature. And up until this point in time, Jake and Austin both have been able to get away with "on again-off again" fauxmances, "private" relationships, all with the occasional manip'ed or real sidewalk stroll photo op. In Austin's case, his now-deceased fauxmance with Chumley, aka Hassie Harrison, was pretty much Instagram-contrived.
If Jake is going to work with the likes of Oscar Isaac and Michael Bey, more is going to be required of him, particularly at the aforementioned age of 40.
So, what we have had, thus far, is Jake stating that the time for having children of his own is rapidly coming up, or as he stated, "getting to be time". This was back in May during promotion time for the children's film, Spirit Untamed.
Of course, despite that headline by Entertainment News, there weren't any "PDA" photos to back up the claim, but this "getting to be time" statement really made the rounds. And just where has Jake's beard, Jeanne Cadieu been?
Wellll.....nowhere to be seen. The last photo shoot she worked on, or modeling work in general, looks to be (according to her Instagram) June 11 ("working with") and then in March, a shoot for a clothing brand. Otherwise, she's been posting generic "selfies" which, who knows when they were really taken and, most photos (of which there aren't many) only showing her face. So, is there something baking in the oven?
If there's been something "cooking" while Cadieu isn't showing signs that she's working, then that could mean a possible "Surprise!" stork announcement late in the year. This is the latest trend anyway, right? Hollywood celebrities don't have to fake the bump anymore. They don't have to risk that Beyonce bump fail. They're also particularly benefited by the pandemic. Many aren't seen much anymore in traditional photo ops. Celebrities now just simply make a surprise announcement. Done deal. Baby born already! "Guess what?" And then, publicists fill in all the made-up information, complete with delivery room drama and near-catastrophes.
There are no real marriages anymore either - we've talked about this hundreds of times now. Hollywood "weddings" simply take place "in private" on islands and barns. There is no real license. The ceremonies are performed by "suddenly ordained" officiators, who usually happen to be friends or peers in the know, I mean in the business. Then there are the plastic dolls for babies, a la Harry & Markle, Bradley Cooper's infant, and of course, little Freddie Reign. Who knows who else has pulled the plastic doll stunt.
So, with all of that kind of assistance, such a charade would be a piece of cake for Jake. Fake marriage with green screen "wedding" photos. Fake baby. Pffft! They can be one of those "uber private couples" and "respect our privacy" types. Maybe that was what that whole "Jake Gyllenhaal is a recluse" makeover has been all about. Not that hard anymore. As long as he plays the game, roles and projects will open up for him. And this is the crossroads where Jake and Austin find themselves at and maybe have decided to take the road for commercial success when it comes to Jake's long-term career prospects.
So, we'll see what happens in the fall/holiday months and won't be surprised if this comes to fruition because there's a shift in the wind with Jake.
And meanwhile today, Jake's Instagram seems to be trying to tell folks that he's in Venice?
And Austin has done a couple of Cameos for fans, otherwise we have no idea what he's up to. But this recent tweet was amusing and entertaining via a very suspect account claiming to have met Austin in Nashville. Tennessee, we assume? Who knows when. "a while back". And then the account "Liked" their own tweet! But the topper may be that Austin's account "Liked" her tweet as well.
👀👀
Oh well, the terrain is so barren for these two guys, that we will sniff at just about anything with their names on it. LOL!
But sniffing doesn't translate to consuming, by any means. 😉
And this is our check in with Jake and Austin. As you can see, even though there is a dearth of sightings, Narnia can still try to connect the dots with what we are given via their management team members.
Remember, Jake's movie "The Guilty" is scheduled to be available for viewing from September through October 1, so an "unexpected" visit by the stork would make some provocative headlines to help promote the film's opening.
September 11 at the Toronto Film Festival
September 24 in limited theaters
October 1 on Netflix
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| Jake in The Guilty |
our pic sources: tenor, fourneauoven, gfycat, wifflegif, makeagif, IHeartJake
our playlist: Convince Me Otherwise - Maroon 5
Waiting in Vain - Annie Lennox
In Another Time - Sade
Are You Nervous? - Rock Kills Kid
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