Oh yes, it's that time of year - the return of BASEBALL! ⚾
Spring brings longer daylight, flowers, the nearing end of school terms, and mowing! 😂 What continues to roll on unchanged, despite the seasons?
• Sony and Simon Cowell refusing to move on with their lives and let go of One Direction
• Professional meard Misha Collins and handler Clif Kosterman both continuing to earn a living off of Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles in exchange for safekeeping their secrets
• The NFL and its teams having found another way to sideline coach Eric Bieniemy before finally edging him out of the League ultimately landing with a college team, the UCLA Bruins. (And don't look - we won't tell you how the Washington Commanders began making all the moves once the head coach and assistant coach were gone, almost as though the 2023 season was some kind of token sacrifice.)
• Re-emergences of both Jake Gyllenhaal and his hubs, Austin Nichols to clarify that they're not anywhere near each other 😂
And yet, when it comes to Jake and Austin, even though many things don't change, we take delight whenever we do spot something new and different. It's sort of like a comet or an eclipse, so let's see what they "gave" us this time.
• After enjoying and lifting up to admire, a behind-the-scenes photo from Jake's SXSW promo for Roadhouse, with its many shout-outs to Austin, we very soon identified a couple of reasons why he may have done it.
[In case you missed the awesome Jake photo, the Austin Nichols "Easter eggs" were numerous and can be read about here.]
The first reason for this extraordinary piece of art to have been shared with the world was that mere days later, the beard "needed" to be trotted out in New York City.
The event where we saw Morticia, I mean Jeanne Cadieu, was the NYC premiere for Roadhouse. And allegedly, Jake's dad Stephen and mom Naomi Foner, were there. We say allegedly because the few sightings we've had of Jake and his dad have been few and far between for many years now. Not only few, but very hinky - i.e. photographs from behind, fuzzy shots, etc. Nor have we even seen Naomi for ages. The photo that we had was even more suspect. Allegedly it was with Big Sis, Maggie, back in June 2022.
 |
| It was just odd to see a wave to someone only a foot away |
Here is the photo of Jake "with" his parents and Morticia. The multiple photographs of this particular foursome are all slight variations of the one below, with a few of them smiling or laughing. But the positions are all the same and there just isn't much difference between them except head or mouth position. Very strange.
 |
| credit: Getty |
There's a reason why so many photo shops have many of its subjects wearing black or another very dark color. The clothes all melt and run into one another. This can conceal mash-up manipulations.
When you blow up a photo like that, you can see some things that are questionable. In this photo, the first thing that stands out is the unrealistic length of Naomi's left arm.
And why on earth is everyone so bunched-in together? Naomi is practically standing on Stephen's left foot. She's pushing into Jake. That's not realistic when you are in a group of four and ready to pose for a photo together. There's no need to stadium tier - you stand side by side.
And it really stands out that Big Sis Maggie wasn't there. Also, where's Peter Sarsgaard, the father of Jake's nieces?
It looks like Cadieu was there because we do have this little video. 😉 [Who really knows though - they could've filmed the video at another time.)
Narnia isn't going to speculate online our thoughts on Naomi Gyllenhaal's longtime absence from the public eye. It just continues to puzzle us how the Gyllenhaal/Sarsgaard's have shown a longtime priority in putting on a united or all-is-well front, which is a far and quietly opposite cry from today's tendency to overshare for social media purposes. While admirable in some ways, it's also kind of melancholic.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Now that some time has passed, we also see these developments with Jake which tell us that the SXSW "behind the scenes" photo may have been shared for another, more significant reason:
• 'Lo and behold, the "Unnamed Action Flick" with director Guy Ritchie and actor Henry Cavill finally has a name. It must actually be legit!
"In the Grey". Yeah, one can see why it took so long to create that one. 😏
It should be evident by now the common theme that runs through Jake's film choices as far as the director and co-stars go. He has had repeat co-stars (i.e. Eiza Gonzalez, Billy Magnussen) or co-stars which cross over to work with Big Sis Maggie.
Peter Sarsgaard has been bouncing back and forth between Jake and Maggie's projects like a ping pong ball, so that Jake can shoehorn the words "my brother-in-law" into his interviews and Maggie can say "my husband", even though we at Narnia have long felt that Peter has not been an every day part of the G-haal family for quite awhile, dating back to the car-keying/ping pong blind as well as the incredibly hinky 2012 NYC Easter Sunday photo shop pics on Just Jared.
Those are just side observations, though.
What is more relevant is that the 40 year old Cavill should be considered at least solid B-list and he has recently been assigned a stunt baby which coincided with the April 13 release of his latest film, "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare" which is also directed by Guy Ritchie and co-stars Eiza Gonzalez.
• Then, the announcement was made that Jake is going to co-star with fellow WME/Endeavor client, Denzel Washington on Broadway in 2025,
Othello. So, that's a pretty big project, good for Jake! A major step up from his smaller days at the Hudson Theater.
• And finally, despite mixed reviews for Jake's recent film Roadhouse on Amazon Prime, his production company (now minus Riva Marker) Nine Stories has scored a three year, first-look deal with Amazon MGM.
So, based on these three events: 1) Jake "photo'd" with his beard Morticia along with both parents on the carpet (symbolizing family acceptance and involvement), 2) Jake moving away from indie films and onto bigger, higher profile projects, and 3) signing a three-year first look contract with the likes of Amazon, it looks like the "SXSW photo with three Austin shout-outs", was very likely more of a Sushi Lunch 2.0.
Not some "felt like it", spontaneous, "hey, this would be cool for our kids" social media posting. Nope. Unfortunately, these two guys don't move that way, haven't moved that way for far too long.
Rather, it seems to have been more of another goodbye as Jake pivots to a mainstream, Mark Wahlberg career copy/paste. A pivot towards movies which appeal to MAGA audiences involving lots of automated weapons, camouflage and WWE/UFC centered, he-man, hyper-sexualized leading-man themes.
Either he's been spending too much time in Texas or this has become someone's rather off-putting, marketing strategy.
Aaah well. No doubt, Jake and his partner Austin have had a talk with their Tiles to explain a renewal of the hiding game, right? There's no way the two parents could be at this point in the kids' ages and not have everyone on the same page. And now that the kids are all older (their youngest, that we know of, will be nine years old at the end of this year), maybe Jake has more time to be away from home.
Plus, as we all have experienced for awhile, it is very expensive to feed a family, school them, and provide for their needs and wants. He and Austin have a lot of mouths to feed, no joke.
So, another pivot.
🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥
While we're on the subject of Jake and his real-life partner Austin, two more calendar notes, the second of which is a pretty fun one.
• Jake's Apple TV, eight-episode series Presumed Innocent will be showing at the Tribeca Film Festival on Sunday, June 9, 2024. Morticia's image may be making another appearance since she has shown a pattern of being more likely to appear in NYC rather than LA or Texas.
Supposedly, the showing of Presumed Innocent was "moved up", but Narnia is not sure from what time frame the series was moved up from. Perhaps the eight episodes will air over the same time that the Gyllynichols will be gallavanting across another of the United States' national parks. Or maybe they'll be back in their more permanent home overseas.
Regardless, one more point about the Gyllynichols fam and we have Daddy-o Austin to thank for this planted seed in our brains. Austin's Instagram account posted a story video the other day and something in the background caught our eye.
There he was - the Birthday Boy on his 44th birthday on April 24, which came with mild fanfare of placing Jake in NYC (but of course! 😂) while this video looked to likely be placing Austin anywhere but.
But this writer has veered off the road again! Let's zero in on something that's in the background of the video....Rewind, please!
Well now, what is that can't-miss image back there? 👀
Well, now. Does that say Transit??? As in, the Ford Transit?
 |
| I think we've got a match! |
Get a load of the Ford Transit, aka the Audi Q7 Family Truckster 2.0:
 |
| This is the 2021 model. |
Methodical Muser considers it comparable to what we civilians know as the airport shuttle. LOL!
And what about seating? The 2023 Ford Transit offers as high as 15 capacity:
The seats of the Ford Transit Passenger Van can be arranged in a number of ways, which makes it one of the most configurable and accommodating vans out there. You could technically make it a two-seater, but then you may as well get a Cargo Van. The more common arrangements start at five seats, but you can fit as many as 15 people inside the van. In-between options include seating for 8, 10, 12, or 14 people. No matter how many you opt for, the legroom is always the same for everyone behind the second row - they get 35.6 inches. - Carbuzz
Of course, Jake isn't going to be seen driving an airport shuttle-sized vehicle in Los Angeles, lol. Nor likely is Austin. Perhaps something like this would be used for a day outing or vacation deep in the vastness of a national park 😄 It would also require a cargo addition just for luggage. But if an occasion were to require the whole family traveling together, this type of passenger van would be quite adequate and would, no doubt, have darkly tinted windows.
 |
| Looks like there would barely be room for Otis' carrier 😉 |
[A few of us OMG'ers were scoffed at for pointing out Jake's switch from driving a four-door sedan to driving the more family-oriented Audi Q7 back in 2010. Yet, no one had a valid argument for why a single guy would want to drive a family-oriented style SUV. Remember, once the Q7 appeared in photos (in two different colors, no less), he was no longer "dating" Reese Witherspoon, who previously had provided him cover by having two small children and also drove an SUV. Jake and Witherspoon "broke up" in December 2009, prior to him being seen driving the Q7.
By 2010, Jake and Austin already had several Baby Tiles and Jake did not hide the size upgrade in his ride of choice.
Aaaah, the "good times". This author isn't sure that we at Narnia will ever grow "bored" with the Jake and Austin saga. We may not post as much as we used to, but we've still got our finger on the pulse.
As is evident here in today's post. 😉😊 ]
• Austin will be starring in a Lifetime movie with former co-star and alleged "Wilmington roomie" Jana Kramer called Gaslit By My Husband: The Morgan Metzer Story. The movie is reported to be airing on June 9 of this year. Jana Kramer's real life daughter is supposed to play her offspring in the movie, which is about domestic abuse. [and whose "bright" idea was that?] Seems the movie has some twisted form of "promo" going on right now with Ms. Kramer being very loud and clout-chasing in social media for her "thoughts" on Travis Kelce. It's such a small circle, isn't it? Who would've ever thought Jana Kramer's "star" would ever cross Travis'? But here we are. What do you think they could have in common if they're appearing on Narnia???
• Austin has another flick coming out (amazing how he is pretty quiet about these projects, isn't he??? Much like his hubs - everything is quite controlled. He will have a role in Tyler Perry's Netflix movie, Six Triple Eight, which sounds incredible; about the 6888th Central Postal Batallion consisting of 855 service women, during WWII, who sorted through three years of mail which hadn't been delivered to troops overseas. Netflix has not announced the release date yet.
Funny how quiet that filming news was kept. Production is over - it occurred in March of this year. Perhaps the filming locations are a big reason why Austin was so quiet about this project. In addition to filming in Atlanta GA, it looks like quite a bit was done in West Yorkshire and Cambridgeshire, England.
😉 Always love an opportunity to pull that gif out. LOL
That's all this author has today. Hope everyone is having a good week!
pic sources: gifer, wifflegif, Daily Fail, Getty, giphy, Denton Ford, Carbuzz, paultran
our playlist: Chevy Van - Sammy Johns
Double Dutch Bus - Frankie Smith
Keep On Truckin' - Eddie Kendricks
Holiday Road - Lindsey Buckingham
