Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols' Sushi Lunch 2.0

 

 

Oh yes, it's that time of year - the return of BASEBALL!  ⚾

Spring brings longer daylight, flowers, the nearing end of school terms, and mowing!  😂  What continues to roll on unchanged, despite the seasons?

• Sony and Simon Cowell refusing to move on with their lives and let go of One Direction

• Professional meard Misha Collins and handler Clif Kosterman both continuing to earn a living off of Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles in exchange for safekeeping their secrets

• The NFL and its teams having found another way to sideline coach Eric Bieniemy before finally edging him out of the League ultimately landing with a college team, the UCLA Bruins.  (And don't look - we won't tell you how the Washington Commanders began making all the moves once the head coach and assistant coach were gone, almost as though the 2023 season was some kind of token sacrifice.)

• Re-emergences of both Jake Gyllenhaal and his hubs, Austin Nichols to clarify that they're not anywhere near each other 😂

 

And yet, when it comes to Jake and Austin, even though many things don't change, we take delight whenever we do spot something new and different.  It's sort of like a comet or an eclipse, so let's see what they "gave" us this time.

 

• After enjoying and lifting up to admire, a behind-the-scenes photo from Jake's SXSW promo for Roadhouse, with its many shout-outs to Austin, we very soon identified a couple of reasons why he may have done it. 

[In case you missed the awesome Jake photo, the Austin Nichols "Easter eggs" were numerous and can be read about here.]

The first reason for this extraordinary piece of art to have been shared with the world was that mere days later, the beard "needed" to be trotted out in New York City.

The event where we saw Morticia, I mean Jeanne Cadieu, was the NYC premiere for Roadhouse.   And allegedly, Jake's dad Stephen and mom Naomi Foner, were there.   We say allegedly because the few sightings we've had of Jake and his dad have been few and far between for many years now.  Not only few, but very hinky - i.e. photographs from behind, fuzzy shots, etc.   Nor have we even seen Naomi for ages.  The photo that we had was even more suspect.  Allegedly it was with Big Sis, Maggie, back in June 2022.

 

It was just odd to see a wave to someone only a foot away

 

Here is the photo of Jake "with" his parents and Morticia.  The multiple photographs of this particular foursome are all slight variations of the one below, with a few of them smiling or laughing.  But the positions are all the same and there just isn't much difference between them except head or mouth position.  Very strange.

credit:  Getty

There's a reason why so many photo shops have many of its subjects wearing black or another very dark color.  The clothes all melt and run into one another.  This can conceal mash-up manipulations.

 

 

When you blow up a photo like that, you can see some things that are questionable.  In this photo, the first thing that stands out is the unrealistic length of Naomi's left arm.

And why on earth is everyone so bunched-in together?  Naomi is practically standing on Stephen's left foot.  She's pushing into Jake.  That's not realistic when you are in a group of four and ready to pose for a photo together.  There's no need to stadium tier - you stand side by side.  

And it really stands out that Big Sis Maggie wasn't there.  Also, where's Peter Sarsgaard, the father of Jake's nieces?

It looks like Cadieu was there because we do have this little video.  😉  [Who really knows though - they could've filmed the video at another time.)

Narnia isn't going to speculate online our thoughts on Naomi Gyllenhaal's longtime absence from the public eye.  It just continues to puzzle us how the Gyllenhaal/Sarsgaard's have shown a longtime priority in putting on a united or all-is-well front, which is a far and quietly opposite cry from today's tendency to overshare for social media purposes.  While admirable in some ways, it's also kind of melancholic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Now that some time has passed, we also see these developments with Jake which tell us that the SXSW "behind the scenes" photo may have been shared for another, more significant reason:

 

•  'Lo and behold, the "Unnamed Action Flick" with director Guy Ritchie and actor Henry Cavill finally has a name.  It must actually be legit!

 

 

"In the Grey".   Yeah, one can see why it took so long to create that one.  😏  

It should be evident by now the common theme that runs through Jake's film choices as far as the director and co-stars go.  He has had repeat co-stars (i.e. Eiza Gonzalez, Billy Magnussen) or co-stars which cross over to work with Big Sis Maggie.  

Peter Sarsgaard has been bouncing back and forth between Jake and Maggie's projects like a ping pong ball, so that Jake can shoehorn the words "my brother-in-law" into his interviews and Maggie can say "my husband", even though we at Narnia have long felt that Peter has not been an every day part of the G-haal family for quite awhile, dating back to the car-keying/ping pong blind as well as the incredibly hinky 2012 NYC Easter Sunday photo shop pics on Just Jared.

Those are just side observations, though.  

What is more relevant is that the 40 year old Cavill should be considered at least solid B-list and he has recently been assigned a stunt baby which coincided with the April 13 release of his latest film, "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare" which is also directed by Guy Ritchie and co-stars Eiza Gonzalez.  

• Then, the announcement was made that Jake is going to co-star with fellow WME/Endeavor client, Denzel Washington on Broadway in 2025,

Othello.   So, that's a pretty big project, good for Jake!  A major step up from his smaller days at the Hudson Theater.

• And finally, despite mixed reviews for Jake's recent film Roadhouse on Amazon Prime, his production company (now minus Riva Marker) Nine Stories has scored a three year, first-look deal with Amazon MGM.

 

 

 

So, based on these three events:  1) Jake "photo'd" with his beard Morticia along with both parents on the carpet (symbolizing family acceptance and involvement),  2)  Jake moving away from indie films and onto bigger, higher profile projects, and 3) signing a three-year first look contract with the likes of Amazon, it looks like the "SXSW photo with three Austin shout-outs", was very likely more of a Sushi Lunch 2.0.  

Not some "felt like it", spontaneous, "hey, this would be cool for our kids" social media posting.  Nope.  Unfortunately, these two guys don't move that way, haven't moved that way for far too long.

Rather, it seems to have been more of another goodbye as Jake pivots to a mainstream, Mark Wahlberg career copy/paste.  A pivot towards movies which appeal to MAGA audiences involving lots of automated weapons, camouflage and WWE/UFC centered, he-man, hyper-sexualized leading-man themes.  

Either he's been spending too much time in Texas or this has become someone's rather off-putting, marketing strategy.

Aaah well.   No doubt, Jake and his partner Austin have had a talk with their Tiles to explain a renewal of the hiding game, right?  There's no way the two parents could be at this point in the kids' ages and not have everyone on the same page.  And now that the kids are all older (their youngest, that we know of, will be nine years old at the end of this year), maybe Jake has more time to be away from home.  

Plus, as we all have experienced for awhile, it is very expensive to feed a family, school them, and provide for their needs and wants.  He and Austin have a lot of mouths to feed, no joke.

So, another pivot.

 

 

 

🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥

 

While we're on the subject of Jake and his real-life partner Austin, two more calendar notes, the second of which is a pretty fun one.

 

• Jake's Apple TV, eight-episode series Presumed Innocent will be showing at the Tribeca Film Festival on Sunday, June 9, 2024.  Morticia's image may be making another appearance since she has shown a pattern of being more likely to appear in NYC rather than LA or Texas.

Supposedly, the showing of Presumed Innocent was "moved up", but Narnia is not sure from what time frame the series was moved up from.  Perhaps the eight episodes will air over the same time that the Gyllynichols will be gallavanting across another of the United States' national parks.   Or maybe they'll be back in their more permanent home overseas.  

Regardless, one more point about the Gyllynichols fam and we have Daddy-o Austin to thank for this planted seed in our brains.  Austin's Instagram account posted a story video the other day and something in the background caught our eye.

There he was - the Birthday Boy on his 44th birthday on April 24, which came with mild fanfare of placing Jake in NYC (but of course! 😂) while this video looked to likely be placing Austin anywhere but.

But this writer has veered off the road again!  Let's zero in on something that's in the background of the video....Rewind, please!

 

 

 

 

Well now, what is that can't-miss image back there?  👀

 

 

Well, now.  Does that say Transit???  As in, the Ford Transit?

I think we've got a match!

Get a load of the Ford Transit, aka the Audi Q7 Family Truckster 2.0:

This is the 2021 model.

Methodical Muser considers it comparable to what we civilians know as the airport shuttle.  LOL!

And what about seating?  The 2023 Ford Transit offers as high as 15 capacity:

 

The seats of the Ford Transit Passenger Van can be arranged in a number of ways, which makes it one of the most configurable and accommodating vans out there. You could technically make it a two-seater, but then you may as well get a Cargo Van. The more common arrangements start at five seats, but you can fit as many as 15 people inside the van. In-between options include seating for 8, 10, 12, or 14 people. No matter how many you opt for, the legroom is always the same for everyone behind the second row - they get 35.6 inches. - Carbuzz

 

Of course, Jake isn't going to be seen driving an airport shuttle-sized vehicle in Los Angeles, lol.  Nor likely is Austin.  Perhaps something like this would be used for a day outing or vacation deep in the vastness of a national park  😄  It would also require a cargo addition just for luggage.  But if an occasion were to require the whole family traveling together, this type of passenger van would be quite adequate and would, no doubt, have darkly tinted windows.

Looks like there would barely be room for Otis' carrier 😉

[A few of us OMG'ers were scoffed at for pointing out Jake's switch from driving a four-door sedan to driving the more family-oriented Audi Q7 back in 2010.  Yet, no one had a valid argument for why a single guy would want to drive a family-oriented style SUV.   Remember, once the Q7 appeared in photos (in two different colors, no less), he was no longer "dating" Reese Witherspoon, who previously had provided him cover by having two small children and also drove an SUV.  Jake and Witherspoon "broke up" in December 2009, prior to him being seen driving the Q7.  

By 2010, Jake and Austin already had several Baby Tiles and Jake did not hide the size upgrade in his ride of choice.

Aaaah, the "good times".  This author isn't sure that we at Narnia will ever grow "bored" with the Jake and Austin saga.  We may not post as much as we used to, but we've still got our finger on the pulse.  

As is evident here in today's post.  😉😊 ]

• Austin will be starring in a Lifetime movie with former co-star and alleged "Wilmington roomie" Jana Kramer called Gaslit By My Husband:  The Morgan Metzer Story.  The movie is reported to be airing on June 9 of this year.   Jana Kramer's real life daughter is supposed to play her offspring in the movie, which is about domestic abuse.  [and whose "bright" idea was that?]   Seems the movie has some twisted form of "promo" going on right now with Ms. Kramer being very loud and clout-chasing in social media for her "thoughts" on Travis Kelce.   It's such a small circle, isn't it?  Who would've ever thought Jana Kramer's "star" would ever cross Travis'?  But here we are.   What do you think they could have in common if they're appearing on Narnia???

• Austin has another flick coming out (amazing how he is pretty quiet about these projects, isn't he???  Much like his hubs - everything is quite controlled.  He will have a role in Tyler Perry's Netflix movie, Six Triple Eight, which sounds incredible; about the 6888th Central Postal Batallion consisting of 855 service women, during WWII, who sorted through three years of mail which hadn't been delivered to troops overseas.   Netflix has not announced the release date yet.

Funny how quiet that filming news was kept.  Production is over - it occurred in March of this year.  Perhaps the filming locations are a big reason why Austin was so quiet about this project.  In addition to filming in Atlanta GA, it looks like quite a bit was done in West Yorkshire and Cambridgeshire, England.  

 😉  Always love an opportunity to pull that gif out.  LOL

That's all this author has today.   Hope everyone is having a good week!

 

 

pic sources:  gifer, wifflegif, Daily Fail, Getty, giphy, Denton Ford, Carbuzz, paultran

our playlist:  Chevy Van - Sammy Johns

                     Double Dutch Bus - Frankie Smith

                     Keep On Truckin' - Eddie Kendricks

                     Holiday Road - Lindsey Buckingham

Is It Fake or Is It PR: How About a Two-Fer for Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift

 

Where does Narnia even pick up from our previous post on the garish saga of Chiefs' tight end Travis Kelce and Shifty, aka Taylor Swift.

And while a quickly increasing audience has expressed weariness of the show, to the point of filter blocking their names from their social media, Narnia wanted to take a different angle and point out a trend amongst written media and fans that merits attention.

And that is the argument of whether their very-public "relationship" is PR or real.  If it's not real, that makes it fake, right?   Is a "PR" relationship the same as a fake relationship?

A PR relationship is one which generally benefits both parties, maybe to raise the profile of one or promote a flick/television show that they both star in.  Can a celebrity relationship be anything other than for PR and not be real, aka fake?  Of course.  And what would be the underlying reason?  Answer: that one or (more likely) both parties are members of the LGBTQ community.    

The whole fauxmance really commenced on Sunday, September 24, at the Chiefs second home game againsst the Chicago Bears.  Shifty appeared up in a suite, along with a crowd of hanger-on's, sponges, childhood friends, who knows who all was in there.  They even sent the Kelce brothers' mom, Donna, to the suite for an "impromptu" and totally inorganic photo op.

 

 

Good lord.  We at Narnia are having a recurrence of Olivia Wilde/Jeff Azoff post-nightmare syndrome just re-posting one of the videos, of which there were superfluous amounts.

And since the Bears game, it has been one rag story, one twitter trend, one podcast, one White House presser quote after another regarding "Travis and Shifty", and "are they or aren't they"?  You surely don't need Narnia to point many of them out.

It should be noted with a "new couple" roll-out such as one with two stars of this magnitude (each in their own profession, although Travis had also already broken ground in the entertainment industry), that the media coverage is enabled by cooperative outlets as well as supplied quotes from compromised enablers.  In this case, the range of enablers was wide spread.  We had quotes, videos, and podcasts to last for weeks, with everyone throwing in their two cents and "thoughts".

What was mind-boggling was the feed at the post-game presser, which is normally reserved for game-related questions, i.e. players' performance, special teams, defensive play.  Instead, we had Coach Andy Reid being asked about the side-show and (kiddingly) taking credit for "setting the two up, and quarterback Patrick Mahomes commenting how he had to make sure to get a TD pass to Travis for Shifty's sake.

                                                            Credit:  KSHB 41 News via twitter

And on CBS Sports, we even heard from JJ Watt, retired from the Arizona Cardinals, who had to "squeeze" in a mention of his beard, I mean wife:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You name them, we heard their thoughts.  I mean, Rosie O'Donnell???  That merits a Just Jared post?

And not to mention all of the enabling of local sports talk radio station 610 Sports - AM, of which this writer is a frequent listener.  As has been mentioned before, 610 is a "broadcasting partner" of the team, not to mention a member of their morning show being a Chiefs sideline reporter and one who travels with the team.  People like him see things in the locker room, they know much more than they're allowed to talk about.  So, to listen to all of the hosts' nonsense about the sideshow was quite head shaking.

The "spontaneous, by-chance" video by the son of Walter Payton, @paytonsun, (employee of the Chicago's WGN), who said he just happened to be at the right place at the right time to capture the video of Travis/Shifty exiting the stadium after the game...

 

 

And Travis just happens to be wearing a suit which has indirect ties to Shifty?  Just Jared tells us so!

Travis was seen arriving to the Arrowhead Stadium (and also leaving with Taylor after the game), wearing a white denim ensemble that looked to be splattered with blue paint.

However, eagle eye Swifties dug deep and unearthed that the look was actually the “1989 Bedroom Painting” set from Kid Super.

There’s a direct connection to Taylor‘s 1989 album, which she announced as a re-release just a few months ago.

In fact, she actually just unveiled the full track list for it days ago.

Just Jared - "Travis Kelce Wore a Taylor Swift Inspired '1989' Suit to Chiefs Game", Sep 25, 2023

I mean, do we look like this is our first day on earth?

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can we just pause for a moment in this teen romance fan fic that Shifty is recreating for her fans and take a look at where "Danny Zuko and Sandy" were supposed to have had their post-game date at after this ride onto Kansas City's grand highways?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh wait, wrong file!  lol, here those two kids were, leaving Arrowhead, spotted by some fortunate person also in the right spot at the right time,

 

 

 

gotta love the glimpse of the "civilian's" car hood to add authenticity!

 

Looks like Travis decided to forgo his usual chauffeur-driven ride this time.  😏   Not to mention, LOL!, are those road detour barriers that Travis and Shifty are headed for?  Let's hope that Travis is making a right or a left.  😂

And then, there was the place where Travis was supposed to have taken her (we'll just ignore the likelihood that Travis probably dropped her off at the next corner in that sweet ride of his).  

 

 

 

Helen's JAD Bar and Grill?  In the KC Northland, where allegedly Travis is supposed to have formerly lived in Briarcliff West (10 min from Helen's JAD B&G)  before he moved to his new digs???  😶 🙈

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But hold up!  Looks like that was a false sighting?  Because TMZ told us that the twosome were at a place called Prime Social on the Plaza.  They should've stuck to the Helen's JAD Bar & Grill rumor, lol.  Because this photo ranks right up there with a lot of Liam Payne and his beard's antics.

"Travis appears to be looking down" - TMZ

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

😂  , "appears to be looking down".

And Travis is listed at 6'5".   How can those be his legs?  What is the mess going on down below with everyone's legs?  There are extra shoes in there.  Are there really that many people standing in one spot?  Look at what is supposed to be Shifty's left leg in proportion to the rest of her body.  Her foot/shoe shrank.  Significantly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Oh yes, sometimes you just have to keep zoomin'.  I mean, what is going on...I can make out his shoe, but the alignment of the pants leg with the shoe is suspect.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anyway, the photo brought back great memories to Narnia, of this 2009 on-set throwback of Jake and his beard, Reese Witherspoon.   I'm thinking this is quite a classic likeness. Jakers, now that we re-look at this old sighting, Narnia wonders - were you really there?  LOL!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What a roll-out.  Narnia isn't going to get into all of it, to cover all the different, tabloidish headlines would take longer than anyone has time for.  We've seen enough already and it is so apparent that this is quite the behemoth of a contract which involves at least three (3) parties:  Travis, Shifty and the NFL, with Shifty and the NFL benefiting the most.

It's been confounding to see the number of different figures in the sports and entertainment industries weighing in on the showmance such as:

Kelly Clarkson, Kay Adams, Tony Gonzelez, professional beard Olivia Wilde, Reba McEntire, Drew Barrymore, National Security Council coordinator John Kirby and White House press secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. Even former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy and former prez, buffoon #45 Donald Trump offered their thoughts. And - Adele's "boyfriend"???

Not to mention the New Heights podcast being used to provide updates on the matter.   Plus, there was Donna Kelce guest spotting on NBC's Today Show, even though she didn't exactly provide a ringing endorsement.  Nonetheless...she was a guest. 

Who didn't see the huge soiree held in a suite at the New York Jets game, complete with arrival videos and pics - Shifty and her posse which included actor Ryan Reynolds, his beard Blake Lively and newly-beardless (insert lightning bolt! 🗲) Hugh Jackman.  Jackman was sponging because he and Reynolds have a big flick coming out next summer.  

And Jake from State Farm was also at the game, sitting next to Donna Kelce, gathering their own attention.   

And reluctantly, we mention too, that also hanging around was Jets attention-starved quarterback Aaron Rodgers, who chose this particular game to return, after tearing his Achilles tendon in the first regular game of the season, making sure to be where the cameras were, by chatting up both Patrick and Travis.  

Publicist teams have been running on high-octane ever since the Bears game.  It's way too early to tell how long the contract is for and what the end will be - is it a short contract?  Or do Travis and Shifty's people have more long-term ideas?

 

🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈🏈 

One thing we at Narnia have no doubt of - it's a showmance, fauxmance, whatever you want to call it.  How do we know this?  You have to watch for the signs.

• The power holder is Shifty.  This is about her movie, her music, her huge fandom and the audience they bring, her impact on ratings.   And when the contract is over, it will continue to be about her music and "poor Taylor" image as Travis will have to pay the piper and endure the "Jake Gyllenhaal, Harry Styles, and Joe Jonas" treatment.

• Even Travis' game arrival/travel wear is not up to him.  Two outfits so far have been about Shifty.   The blue/white leisure suit that he wore leaving Arrowhead at the Bears game, was designed to be a shout-out to Shifty's 1989 album.  Oh yes, they think these things out wellllll ahead of time.

It's all supporting of Shifty and her upcoming re-release of album, 1989!

And then the brown crushed velvet pants for his Minnesota Vikings trip wear:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her fans point out something about matching drapes in a video with Shifty....and then Travis, when asked about the pants (since when has he been asked about a specific travel ensemble??), says something about how "comfy" they are.  

See what they do?

This is typical Shifty MO.   She plants all of these "coincidental" occurrences and lyric drops, which her sleuthing fans and media are allowed to continue to speak out on, and then Shifty turns around in 2023 and says, "It's not my problem you imagine that I'm sending clues!"

 

 

Mind blowingly rich, isn't it?  The prime definition of gaslighting.  This is on her because the clues and "Easter Eggs" all point back to her music.  Her lyrics.  It starts with her camp and then everyone else falls in line and plays along.  This includes her merkin at the time, the merkin's family members, friends, peers and media.

•  This is how, over the years, Shifty has dragged out her fauxmances without fully committing to "are they or aren't they".

 

 

"Stop saying they're dating!"

Who travels back and forth from NYC to Kansas City to attend a ball game, get video'd leaving together after a game, sits and kisspers with the mom and dad in a suite, suddenly acts like besties with Patrick's "wife", and is photo'd trying to show how she and Travis hung out together after the Bears game?  

Is that still "quietly hanging out™"?  They are gaslighting you. This isn't Wonder Years and Shifty isn't Winnie Cooper and Travis isn't Kevin Arnold.

They're getting the het cred without having to act like a real couple.  

Again - prime gaslighting.

 

UPDATE:  October 15, 2023

And now, we have "confirmation" of couple-dom.  Because the Chiefs played on Thursday night, Oct 12, the players didn't return to practice until Tuesday the 17th (Baby Tile's birthday!)  So Travis and Shifty showed up in NYC on Saturday, Oct 14, and both guest spotted on Saturday Night Live before officially "coming out" as a couple, holding hands, smiling, cooing, and Travis acting all kinds of chivalrous.  It was quite the spectacle.

 

 

We're not posting all of the videos, gifs and photos with accompanying flash bulb light show.  How many times do we need to see bearding photo ops?  We're well familiar with how they look.  Not to mention with these two, we're being taken back to our middle and high school days.  Danny Zuko and Sandy Olsson indeed. 

But isn't it interesting how everything worked out just perfectly with the Chiefs having a Thursday night game and having four (4) days off for R & R.....the Eagles playing the NY Jets on Sunday for folks to speculate that Travis & Shifty would show up at that game to show support for Jason (of which only Travis showed, long enough to be have an endorsement moment) ....amazing.

And we're already being told how Travis is wanting to spend time following Shifty around while she starts her tour overseas, a start which just happens to coincide with the Chiefs' overseas game in Germany on Nov. 5.  That game vs. the Miami Dolphins just happens to be followed by no games for two weeks.

Isn't that just something?  NFL Scheduling, Narnia is looking directly at you because this took some maneuvering and moving around .... 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This fauxmance went from 0 to 60 in Roadrunner speed because Shifty had to squeeze it in before her international tour.

 

• No doubt, there is a plethora of marketing benefits for all three parties:  Shifty, the NFL and Travis.  Who can't see it?  Ratings are up for NFL telecasts where the Chiefs are concerned.  Travis' jersey sales, Travis' commercials are everywhere, and Shifty's movie  riding some extra publicity, Shifty's selling of Erin Andrews' jacket, the New Heights podcast as popular as ever, Jason Kelce everywhere, Donna Kelce everywhere, even "pops" Ed Kelce getting camera time.  It's been blanketing to say the least.

But there's another important reason for the fauxmance, one that most are missing.  One that is the underlying, foundation of a reason.

Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce both need het cover. 

Over the past several years, Shifty's team, much like Jake's team, have done a masterful job of virtually erasing all of the old rumors.  Originally written and linked on Twitter back on Feb 11, 2014, this tweet linked to an article which labeled Shifty as being a power beard and was not discreet about it.

 

 

The Sugarscape link is no longer valid, but the article can still be seen here, under a URL belonging to International Business Times.  👀  The tweet did not have oxygen for long on Twitter and quickly disappeared.

Besides her tell-tale pattern of "dating" ➞ "break-up"  ➞ "break-up album",  Shifty's more than giveaway "dating" history has been the biggest red flag 🚩, a history that has included the likes of Joe Jonas, John Mayer, Taylor Lautner, Tom Hiddleston, Harry Styles, and Jake Gyllenhaal.  

Jake was a slam dunk, but the rest of that list was, too, really.  Jake was simply the slam dunk of slam dunks.  LOL!

 

 

While Shifty has done good works, i.e. helping to bring to attention the corrupt practices of Ticketmaster and LiveNation, plus helping the movie theater business with the tremendous sales from her Era Tours Movie, it's the antics from the U.S. leg of her Eras Tour and her current fauxmance with Kelce, which tell us she's not going anywhere from her practice of exploiting closeted men who need cover, for her own benefit.  

She's part of the new guard in Hollywood, those who play the game and are rewarded, while helping to recruit and endorse the new, younger up-and-coming, helping to keep them in the corral of the controlled.

Joining forces with entertainers like Beyonce, 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And actors like Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively and Hugh Jackman.  They're part of the established power holders in Hollywood.    It's a system.  

Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman are going to be in Deadpool 3, which is set for release in 2024.  Shifty is rumored to have a cameo in the movie. Shawn Levy, in the rust-colored jacket below, is one of the producers and writers of the movie.  Here they all were at the Chiefs/Jets game on October 8, just out having a lot of fun" at an NFL game. via NY Post:

 

Shifty, Blake Lively (Reynolds' beard), Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman and Shawn Levy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

These four big-time celebrities were the human spotlights that day at the game.  Not Travis. Not the Chiefs or Patrick.  (Granted, it wasn't one of their best games. LOL!)   It was about these four people right here, the self-induging selfie from Hugh Jackman's Instagram.   Since when has Hugh Jackman even shown any interest in the Chiefs?  or Reynolds or Blake Lively for that matter?)  You're never going to get all of the water out of this sponge of a selfie.

Again - Ryan Reynolds' marketing company, Maximum Effort, was behind the Donna Kelce (Travis and Jason's mom) and Jake from State Farm visibility during the game. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Isn't it amazing how "open" they're all being with us, the general public, about how contrived and marketing-oriented this "relationship" is????  Shouldn't we be grateful they're letting us in on what should be hidden from us???)

 

Oh, and can we mention that Reynolds' company Maximum Effort, holds a 24% investment in the Alpine Formula 1 team.  Now, Travis and Patrick Mahomes are amongst a group of athletes who just joined as investors in the Alpine F1 team.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let's see, let's connect all these dots...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

•  And then there's Travis, who hadn't been with the Chiefs but for several years before he apparently "needed" a dating show, Catching Kelce, a show that aired in 2016 and is still used today to label him as a dating machine.   Does this guy look like he needed help finding a date?  Come on.  😂

photo credit:  chuh - cleveland heights univ. heights

 

Publicly, Travis has actually had a rather limited dating profile.  

But he has used his fashion wear to code something quite contrary:

 

 

February 2019, the rainbow snow suit 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

rainbow shirt by Guess in 2019

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

at the ACC Golf tournament in 2019 - triangles every which way

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the sunglasses

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

the Pink Floyd T shirt,

 

front and center, the triangle and a rainbow sneaked in as well

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And loudest of all, this past May 2023 at the ESPY's.  There was no mistaking this message, which sparkled against the stark whiteness of his suit.  And he wore it just a couple of months before Shifty's concert at Arrowhead, an attendance which would start the ball rolling on the fauxmance.   

He wanted to make his statement before his life would drastically change.

I mean, it was right there, in your face, folks.

 

Travis is a different breed from some of Narnia's faves and yet he shares a number of common traits with the likes of Jared Padalecki and Louis Tomlinson.  These three men fill a room like none other.  

They're man-spreading, confident, loveable, gregarious, incredibly charismatic men. 

Travis was already successful before Shifty came along.  He's a shoe-in, future Canton, Ohio Hall of Famer.  His professional records and accolades are numerous.  But he also had built a reputation and image as the life of the party.  He started up the 87 and Running Foundation which helps "underserved youth strive to become productive citizens by mentoring and motivating them to explore and develop their abilities while learning critical life skills."  Travis set up 87 and Running in 2015, just two years after he was drafted by the Chiefs and is very active to this day, alot of his involvement going unseen. 

Travis also has his own clothing brand - Tru Kolors.  

"I like to show off who I am through what I wear," - Travis Kelce. Tru Kolors website.

His podcast with Jason became a runaway success and so people across the NFL came to know more about both men than just the x's and o's.  They liked what they saw.

After the 2023 Super Bowl victory, the time was right for his Saturday Night Live hosting gig. And to no surprise, he was a hit.  A natural.  And he's not looked back since.

So of course, Shifty caught that that runaway horse right out of the gate.  That's what she does.  She nabs the IT guys.

And we believe we are already seeing some signs that she's going to break this wild horse like she's done to all the others.  Their teams are already dropping the seeds.  Take your pick which ones could be used.

Travis allegedly owes back taxes in Ohio

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The "Catching Kelce ex-gf" warning Shifty of his alleged cheating

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

sending Travis out for cigars on his recent birthday

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are they going to later say he is "too protective"??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Are they going to pull up these stories from this year's past training camp, of Travis suddenly picking scuffles with teammates?  Remember those two incidents?   Will they give him a narrative of "anger issues"??

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or is there going to be "cheating"?   Management first set this scenario up when the "Traylor" rumors began.   Travis' "Catching Kelce" winner Maya Benberry  went on a Twitter-wide viral tour, telling her "story" and warning Shifty of Travis' alleged unfaithfulness.  

 

 

Shifty's "been warned"!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so then, guess who else pops up, also with her own viral social media posts?  Travis' last "gf", Ms. Kayla Nicole.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hmmmm....is her viral re-emergence merely reinforcing het cred via flashbacks?   

Or is it setting up a "cheating scandal" to cause the break up of Traylor?

Isn't this interesting that as we approach the Nov 5 game in Germany between the Chiefs and Miami Dolphins, that "ex", Kayla Nicole, is 1) still getting publicity?

 

 

She should be yesterday's news long by now

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

and 2)  is now being seen "flying away"?   Wait, don't tell us - she's flying overseas?

Are they setting up a "cheating" scandal?

Hmmmm....

Why is a former "gf" getting so much coverage?

 

OR....or is this contract a wait-and-see situation?  If Traylor proves to be a juggernaut of a fauxmance, could it extend to something more permanent?  Shifty is 33 years old and will turn Travis' age in December.  Both are still single and have been able to make it without a wedding band to this point.  But no doubt, another one of Travis' motivating factors for signing up for this nonsense is because he has a promising entertainment career awaiting him after his playing days are over.  And his playing days are not going to be for much longer.  How much longer can Shifty keep getting away with these whirlwind "romances", followed by a "it's not you, it's woe is me" album?  

Both individuals are at the top of their game right now.   Imagine such a celebrity wedding.  Believe us, we are not glamorizing such a spectacle.   But looking at it from a PR team perspective?  You could see it being very possible.  In addition, between her touring and Travis' schedule of NFL games and training camp could limit those photo ops.  It could work for both of them.

Nonetheless, are you as exhausted of all this as we are?  Our brains hurt at this point.  

The point is, there is a distinct difference between a fauxmance being for "pr!" purposes and one being for het cred.  Fauxmance'ing for het cred goes beyond trying to sell commodities.  And for those who wish to remain private about their personal lives, this can be understandable.  The powers that be in Hollywood run a tight leash if someone wants to advance up the entertainment ladder, something which Travis wishes to do.  It's something he would be so successful at.  

What is a shame is someone like Shifty taking advantage of the situation, just like she has in these two following examples.  It would be different if the contracts ended without much fanfare.  But no, instead, these men must continue dancing for TPTB.  Taylor Lautner popping up at Arrowhead in 2023, paying homage?  How bizarre was that?  Again - Shifty was holding the leverage here. 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

And how is his career going?  If his performing back flips at screenings of Shifty's movie is any indication, it's not going very well at all.

Joe Jonas had to be portrayed as a rotten ex, while Shifty "comforted and protected" Sophie Turner, offering a NYC apartment as a "safe refuge" for her and the children during the phony divorce proceedings.   Joe Jonas became the "bad" guy, if you were to believe all of the headlines.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And then, there was Harry Styles at this year's Grammy Awards.  We were shown that Shifty wanted to show his fans that she fully supported Harry,

 

 

 

The fact that she is the first person we are shown on screen following the end of his performance, tells us everything.  See?  They're friends!  It's all "amicable".

Then we had the images of "friendship, acceptance, and support" reinforced again:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Fast forward:  should it really be any surprise now that we're told Joe Jonas and Sophie Turner have miraculously come to a temporary but mutual agreement (for the sake of the children!) for joint custody.  That helps out, doesn't it?  smh.  "Amicable" agreements and "still remain friends" are code phrases for mutual bearding contracts coming to an end.

* Exhale *.  Is it time to end this section of our post?  LOL!  These fingers need a break.  We have more to examine, but let's save it for next time, okay?  There are still a few other interesting asides that need expressing.  😉

Meanwhile, in the Narnia cul-de-sac, we have a couple of other bits of news:

•  What's Austin's former beard, Sophia Bush, up to?  She recently sort of came out  -  on Baby Tile's 16th birthday, no less!  Was that kind of a wink*wink to BT's infamous parents?

In an announcement that went viral due to surprise and disappointment of Sophia looking like a home-wrecker, what is nonetheless interesting about it:

- There are no direct quotes yet from Sophia, even though the story was published by People.com, which is still considered a go-to source.

- Chad Michael Murry's camp wanted to remind everyone that he and Sophia were once involved, albeit a very brief marriage.  Another "ex" of CMM's  has to grab headlines and remind everyone of his "het-ness" because he cheated on her with Sophia!

 

 

Where is this story going?  Will Bush/Harris become a "one time exploration" on Sophia's part and then she'll walk back the semi-coming out?   Or is it the beginning of a different stage in her life?  Guess we'll just have to wait and see.  

 

•  Look kids, it's JibCon 2014 - 2.0!   Remember JibCon 2014?  That was the Jus in Bello where Management gave Jared a shoulder injury which sidelined him big-time from the Saturday schedule of the Cockles-centered convention.

This weekend Jensen Ackles and professional meard, Misha Collins, are appearing at Comic Con Liverpool.    Who even anticipated wondering where Jared Padalecki was?   Not us!  But Management doesn't fail to show their insecurity by pretending Jared's beard, Genevieve Cortese, took this photo of Jared and daughter, Odette.  

Jared is supposed to be sidelined with the flu.   Welp!  Guess that rules out any possibility of him crashing any "Cockles" photo ops, huh?   I mean....we're still doing this?

JibCon 2014 2.0, folks

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We'll ignore a GPS "coincidence" that Jared and the beard were in Scotland, UK, merely two weekends ago...

227 miles separate Liverpool and Edinburgh. 

Yet, somehow today, Jared has made a super quick recovery and is allegedly in Austin, TX, at a Formula 1 race.  👀

 

✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ ✈ 

It is time to end this massive post before any other needed addition is discovered.  Apologies for the long read if you made it this far.  😉

Seriously, it was one of our more important posts in quite awhile.

Have a great week and Go Chiefs!!

collaboration:  Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser

our pic/edits sources:  Cougarboard, KSHB 41 News, WGN's Jarrett Payton, Just Jared, 

                           lifesdailylessons, pinterest, mapquest, TMZ, giphy, International Business

                           Times, NY Post, gfycat, cleveland heights - university heights, 

                            kelcemenow, hourlytraviskelce, ESPN via You Tube,TaylorSwiftUpdates

 

our playlist:  Closing Time - Semisonic

                     Just For You - Lionel Ritchie

                     Shining Light - Annie Lennox

                     Real World - Matchbox Twenty

                     Waiting in Vain - Annie Lennox