Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols' Sushi Lunch 2.0

 

 

Oh yes, it's that time of year - the return of BASEBALL!  ⚾

Spring brings longer daylight, flowers, the nearing end of school terms, and mowing!  😂  What continues to roll on unchanged, despite the seasons?

• Sony and Simon Cowell refusing to move on with their lives and let go of One Direction

• Professional meard Misha Collins and handler Clif Kosterman both continuing to earn a living off of Jared Padalecki & Jensen Ackles in exchange for safekeeping their secrets

• The NFL and its teams having found another way to sideline coach Eric Bieniemy before finally edging him out of the League ultimately landing with a college team, the UCLA Bruins.  (And don't look - we won't tell you how the Washington Commanders began making all the moves once the head coach and assistant coach were gone, almost as though the 2023 season was some kind of token sacrifice.)

• Re-emergences of both Jake Gyllenhaal and his hubs, Austin Nichols to clarify that they're not anywhere near each other 😂

 

And yet, when it comes to Jake and Austin, even though many things don't change, we take delight whenever we do spot something new and different.  It's sort of like a comet or an eclipse, so let's see what they "gave" us this time.

 

• After enjoying and lifting up to admire, a behind-the-scenes photo from Jake's SXSW promo for Roadhouse, with its many shout-outs to Austin, we very soon identified a couple of reasons why he may have done it. 

[In case you missed the awesome Jake photo, the Austin Nichols "Easter eggs" were numerous and can be read about here.]

The first reason for this extraordinary piece of art to have been shared with the world was that mere days later, the beard "needed" to be trotted out in New York City.

The event where we saw Morticia, I mean Jeanne Cadieu, was the NYC premiere for Roadhouse.   And allegedly, Jake's dad Stephen and mom Naomi Foner, were there.   We say allegedly because the few sightings we've had of Jake and his dad have been few and far between for many years now.  Not only few, but very hinky - i.e. photographs from behind, fuzzy shots, etc.   Nor have we even seen Naomi for ages.  The photo that we had was even more suspect.  Allegedly it was with Big Sis, Maggie, back in June 2022.

 

It was just odd to see a wave to someone only a foot away

 

Here is the photo of Jake "with" his parents and Morticia.  The multiple photographs of this particular foursome are all slight variations of the one below, with a few of them smiling or laughing.  But the positions are all the same and there just isn't much difference between them except head or mouth position.  Very strange.

credit:  Getty

There's a reason why so many photo shops have many of its subjects wearing black or another very dark color.  The clothes all melt and run into one another.  This can conceal mash-up manipulations.

 

 

When you blow up a photo like that, you can see some things that are questionable.  In this photo, the first thing that stands out is the unrealistic length of Naomi's left arm.

And why on earth is everyone so bunched-in together?  Naomi is practically standing on Stephen's left foot.  She's pushing into Jake.  That's not realistic when you are in a group of four and ready to pose for a photo together.  There's no need to stadium tier - you stand side by side.  

And it really stands out that Big Sis Maggie wasn't there.  Also, where's Peter Sarsgaard, the father of Jake's nieces?

It looks like Cadieu was there because we do have this little video.  😉  [Who really knows though - they could've filmed the video at another time.)

Narnia isn't going to speculate online our thoughts on Naomi Gyllenhaal's longtime absence from the public eye.  It just continues to puzzle us how the Gyllenhaal/Sarsgaard's have shown a longtime priority in putting on a united or all-is-well front, which is a far and quietly opposite cry from today's tendency to overshare for social media purposes.  While admirable in some ways, it's also kind of melancholic.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ 

Now that some time has passed, we also see these developments with Jake which tell us that the SXSW "behind the scenes" photo may have been shared for another, more significant reason:

 

•  'Lo and behold, the "Unnamed Action Flick" with director Guy Ritchie and actor Henry Cavill finally has a name.  It must actually be legit!

 

 

"In the Grey".   Yeah, one can see why it took so long to create that one.  😏  

It should be evident by now the common theme that runs through Jake's film choices as far as the director and co-stars go.  He has had repeat co-stars (i.e. Eiza Gonzalez, Billy Magnussen) or co-stars which cross over to work with Big Sis Maggie.  

Peter Sarsgaard has been bouncing back and forth between Jake and Maggie's projects like a ping pong ball, so that Jake can shoehorn the words "my brother-in-law" into his interviews and Maggie can say "my husband", even though we at Narnia have long felt that Peter has not been an every day part of the G-haal family for quite awhile, dating back to the car-keying/ping pong blind as well as the incredibly hinky 2012 NYC Easter Sunday photo shop pics on Just Jared.

Those are just side observations, though.  

What is more relevant is that the 40 year old Cavill should be considered at least solid B-list and he has recently been assigned a stunt baby which coincided with the April 13 release of his latest film, "The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare" which is also directed by Guy Ritchie and co-stars Eiza Gonzalez.  

• Then, the announcement was made that Jake is going to co-star with fellow WME/Endeavor client, Denzel Washington on Broadway in 2025,

Othello.   So, that's a pretty big project, good for Jake!  A major step up from his smaller days at the Hudson Theater.

• And finally, despite mixed reviews for Jake's recent film Roadhouse on Amazon Prime, his production company (now minus Riva Marker) Nine Stories has scored a three year, first-look deal with Amazon MGM.

 

 

 

So, based on these three events:  1) Jake "photo'd" with his beard Morticia along with both parents on the carpet (symbolizing family acceptance and involvement),  2)  Jake moving away from indie films and onto bigger, higher profile projects, and 3) signing a three-year first look contract with the likes of Amazon, it looks like the "SXSW photo with three Austin shout-outs", was very likely more of a Sushi Lunch 2.0.  

Not some "felt like it", spontaneous, "hey, this would be cool for our kids" social media posting.  Nope.  Unfortunately, these two guys don't move that way, haven't moved that way for far too long.

Rather, it seems to have been more of another goodbye as Jake pivots to a mainstream, Mark Wahlberg career copy/paste.  A pivot towards movies which appeal to MAGA audiences involving lots of automated weapons, camouflage and WWE/UFC centered, he-man, hyper-sexualized leading-man themes.  

Either he's been spending too much time in Texas or this has become someone's rather off-putting, marketing strategy.

Aaah well.   No doubt, Jake and his partner Austin have had a talk with their Tiles to explain a renewal of the hiding game, right?  There's no way the two parents could be at this point in the kids' ages and not have everyone on the same page.  And now that the kids are all older (their youngest, that we know of, will be nine years old at the end of this year), maybe Jake has more time to be away from home.  

Plus, as we all have experienced for awhile, it is very expensive to feed a family, school them, and provide for their needs and wants.  He and Austin have a lot of mouths to feed, no joke.

So, another pivot.

 

 

 

🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥🎥

 

While we're on the subject of Jake and his real-life partner Austin, two more calendar notes, the second of which is a pretty fun one.

 

• Jake's Apple TV, eight-episode series Presumed Innocent will be showing at the Tribeca Film Festival on Sunday, June 9, 2024.  Morticia's image may be making another appearance since she has shown a pattern of being more likely to appear in NYC rather than LA or Texas.

Supposedly, the showing of Presumed Innocent was "moved up", but Narnia is not sure from what time frame the series was moved up from.  Perhaps the eight episodes will air over the same time that the Gyllynichols will be gallavanting across another of the United States' national parks.   Or maybe they'll be back in their more permanent home overseas.  

Regardless, one more point about the Gyllynichols fam and we have Daddy-o Austin to thank for this planted seed in our brains.  Austin's Instagram account posted a story video the other day and something in the background caught our eye.

There he was - the Birthday Boy on his 44th birthday on April 24, which came with mild fanfare of placing Jake in NYC (but of course! 😂) while this video looked to likely be placing Austin anywhere but.

But this writer has veered off the road again!  Let's zero in on something that's in the background of the video....Rewind, please!

 

 

 

 

Well now, what is that can't-miss image back there?  👀

 

 

Well, now.  Does that say Transit???  As in, the Ford Transit?

I think we've got a match!

Get a load of the Ford Transit, aka the Audi Q7 Family Truckster 2.0:

This is the 2021 model.

Methodical Muser considers it comparable to what we civilians know as the airport shuttle.  LOL!

And what about seating?  The 2023 Ford Transit offers as high as 15 capacity:

 

The seats of the Ford Transit Passenger Van can be arranged in a number of ways, which makes it one of the most configurable and accommodating vans out there. You could technically make it a two-seater, but then you may as well get a Cargo Van. The more common arrangements start at five seats, but you can fit as many as 15 people inside the van. In-between options include seating for 8, 10, 12, or 14 people. No matter how many you opt for, the legroom is always the same for everyone behind the second row - they get 35.6 inches. - Carbuzz

 

Of course, Jake isn't going to be seen driving an airport shuttle-sized vehicle in Los Angeles, lol.  Nor likely is Austin.  Perhaps something like this would be used for a day outing or vacation deep in the vastness of a national park  😄  It would also require a cargo addition just for luggage.  But if an occasion were to require the whole family traveling together, this type of passenger van would be quite adequate and would, no doubt, have darkly tinted windows.

Looks like there would barely be room for Otis' carrier 😉

[A few of us OMG'ers were scoffed at for pointing out Jake's switch from driving a four-door sedan to driving the more family-oriented Audi Q7 back in 2010.  Yet, no one had a valid argument for why a single guy would want to drive a family-oriented style SUV.   Remember, once the Q7 appeared in photos (in two different colors, no less), he was no longer "dating" Reese Witherspoon, who previously had provided him cover by having two small children and also drove an SUV.  Jake and Witherspoon "broke up" in December 2009, prior to him being seen driving the Q7.  

By 2010, Jake and Austin already had several Baby Tiles and Jake did not hide the size upgrade in his ride of choice.

Aaaah, the "good times".  This author isn't sure that we at Narnia will ever grow "bored" with the Jake and Austin saga.  We may not post as much as we used to, but we've still got our finger on the pulse.  

As is evident here in today's post.  😉😊 ]

• Austin will be starring in a Lifetime movie with former co-star and alleged "Wilmington roomie" Jana Kramer called Gaslit By My Husband:  The Morgan Metzer Story.  The movie is reported to be airing on June 9 of this year.   Jana Kramer's real life daughter is supposed to play her offspring in the movie, which is about domestic abuse.  [and whose "bright" idea was that?]   Seems the movie has some twisted form of "promo" going on right now with Ms. Kramer being very loud and clout-chasing in social media for her "thoughts" on Travis Kelce.   It's such a small circle, isn't it?  Who would've ever thought Jana Kramer's "star" would ever cross Travis'?  But here we are.   What do you think they could have in common if they're appearing on Narnia???

• Austin has another flick coming out (amazing how he is pretty quiet about these projects, isn't he???  Much like his hubs - everything is quite controlled.  He will have a role in Tyler Perry's Netflix movie, Six Triple Eight, which sounds incredible; about the 6888th Central Postal Batallion consisting of 855 service women, during WWII, who sorted through three years of mail which hadn't been delivered to troops overseas.   Netflix has not announced the release date yet.

Funny how quiet that filming news was kept.  Production is over - it occurred in March of this year.  Perhaps the filming locations are a big reason why Austin was so quiet about this project.  In addition to filming in Atlanta GA, it looks like quite a bit was done in West Yorkshire and Cambridgeshire, England.  

 😉  Always love an opportunity to pull that gif out.  LOL

That's all this author has today.   Hope everyone is having a good week!

 

 

pic sources:  gifer, wifflegif, Daily Fail, Getty, giphy, Denton Ford, Carbuzz, paultran

our playlist:  Chevy Van - Sammy Johns

                     Double Dutch Bus - Frankie Smith

                     Keep On Truckin' - Eddie Kendricks

                     Holiday Road - Lindsey Buckingham

For Anyone Who Thinks This Puzzle is Already Easy Peasy Solved

 

There are many of us, on social media, who follow someone(s) in the entertainment world closet. Often these celebrities are part of the traditional performing arts and are found in the music or acting professions. But particularly over the last ten years, as talent and news agencies have merged, diversified and globalized, others have found it necessary to follow many celebrities and public figures across multiple entertainment industries, especially into the high-profile world of professional sports.  

In other words, in case anyone hasn't noticed yet, there's an increasing frequency of crossing beams when it comes to professional sports and the acting/recording industries. What Methodical Muser likes to call, not just cross-fertilization, but cross-contamination. 

Without a doubt, there's a huge beam-crossing going on right now and everyone's got something to say about it, including the huge mantra that this highly publicized "relationship" is strictly for "PR" purposes.

Lots of different voices have been chiming in since August, and it can be a veritable minefield trying to navigate through all of this chatter, some of which seem to have come from out of nowhere and some from familiar, trusted sources with great influence.

If it's not apparent by now, that highly publicized "relationship" would be the one between two accomplished and superstar performers in their own respective fields - the NFL's Travis Kelce and the music industry's, Taylor Swift.

In brief, there's no denying Travis has been benefiting from the fauxmance, both financially and publicity-wise.  Narnia has heard over 1000 times already - how jersey sales are up, how he's in some new broadcast commercial every time you turn around. Then there's the highly lucrative Pfizer deal, name recognition, media coverage, etc. 

But has anyone looked behind the curtain and stopped to think that it's highly probable that much of this shift in his celebrity status is part of his compensation, up-front.   Because whenever this contract ends, he is going to be the one shredded in the media. Storytelling always has a villain. And it certainly is not going to be Time's Person of the Year. 

What's not being said enough is that Travis Michael Kelce was ALREADY highly successful before Taylor Swift even came along. 

• His and Jason's New Heights podcast show immediately shot up the charts after its successful debut in September 2022.  The December 1, 2022 Episode with Patrick Mahomes had 3.4 million viewers.  In April 2023, Shannon Sharpe's Episode brought in 2.1 million viewers. Through most of last year, their show became the number 1 sports podcast in the nation and the top 5 overall podcast for most of the 2022 NFL season.

• Travis and Patrick Mahomes have been so successful, since the latter catapulted into the spotlight in his first full season as the Kansas City Chief's quarterback (2018-19), that their New England Patriot counterparts, Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski, have had their fans vehemently arguing and trolling on Twitter since both men became a threat to Brady/Gronkowski records almost immediately. After his initial full season as a starter, Patrick Mahomes became the NFL's MVP for the first time. 

• Travis has been a successful entrepreneur for many years. He's owned his own clothing line, is a business partner in co-owning Club Car Wash, and has his own local endorsements from popular food and grocers establishments. He is a philanthropist who is known for his generosity and inclusiveness, in addition to having his own non-profit Foundation with Eighty-Seven and Running.  

This all was before Taylor Swift even knew who he was.

 

Nov 9, 2022

• Yes, Travis is 34 years old. Of course, he's been planning for his retirement, like any other NFL player at his age.  The Kansas City sports talk community, and local fans have been concerned about this eventuality for the past couple of seasons and have wanted the Chiefs to draft a tight end so that Travis has time to mentor him.  (Unfortunately, in this year's draft, there were several promising TE's, but they were taken by the time the Chiefs' pick selection.)

What's totally out of character is that Travis has not talked about retiring anytime soon but suddenly the recent Wall Street Journal "interview" comes along and it's on his mind more than people would think? Where did this come from? During the Chief's training camp [July 23 to August 17, 2023] when the contract between Swift and Travis had already been signed (because that's how these arrangement work), he said he planned on playing "until the wheels fall off".  So, if anyone wants to conjure up the idea that Swift would be responsible for this 180° turn around and that he's suddenly in a hurry to jump start his post-NFL career, then they haven't followed Travis for very long.

For the sake of keeping this brief and the plan to expand in further detail in future posts, this author is going to say that I have followed this team for years, even used to be a season ticket holder.  Lived in this area my whole life. 

And Methodical Muser and I have closely followed Travis and Patrick Mahomes since Patrick became a starter in the 2018-19 season. Moreover, anyone even slightly familiar with our blogging history and credentials related to closeted celebrities, are well aware of our extensive knowledge of two of Swift's previous fauxmances with Jake Gyllenhaal and Harry Styles. 

Remember, Swift's closet is not the only one going on in this story.  This is not a "PR!" Relationship in which Travis is some kind of barnacle dragging down the big boat (Swift).  

In case no one has noticed, Travis' image and his name have been getting smeared already.  The seeds are being planted for future lyrics, for whenever the "break up" comes.

And now?  Travis and Patrick are in the process of being publicly "separated" after being seen in each other's company for years.   

Management teams are actively erasing parts of their history and established patterns of hanging out with each other and doing so with each passing week.  For instance, these teams are obviously bothered by who Travis' local barber is and trying to make it look like Travis has been flying in another barber for years. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We have some thoughts on this new story that we will share in another post.  But, let's say for now it's interesting that this barber just happens to be named Patrick.  These teams have also re-written and lied about Travis' housing arrangements, which is very telling as well. 

Narnia plans to address some of these erasures, but things are happening so lightning-speed with these two and I don't know about Methodical Muser, but these further elaborations will come out in due time. 

Besides, it's holiday season and we are trying to be merry despite the chaos which December can bring from some of our featured faves' teams.  😉

So, if you happen to see this, please just give some thought that there could be more to this fauxmance than simply marketing and money.

In fact, profit maximization and the raising of profiles, are merely topping the surface of what's happening here. 

For some of us have seen this same story played out too many times before.

 

2018

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2023 Super Bowl

 

 

pic sources:  twitter, Getty, Rest in Pieces, Fox19.com

our playlist:  Do You Hear What I Hear - for King and Country

                     Song for a Winter's Night - Sarah McLaughlan

                     Happy Christmas (War is Over) - King Calaway

                     Stille Nacht - Mannheim Steamroller

                      

An Evening With the Elegant Liam Payne: Sometimes The Boy Really Does See a Wolf

 

The risk of calling a photo "photo shopped" or an incident a "stunt" can possibly backfire simply by using the claim too often.  The effectiveness becomes reduced and the term used as a counter argument.  

Then again, when it comes to photos involving closeted couples, photo shop and video manipulations have become so common place, that sometimes one has to simply lay it on the line and say, "It is what it is, I'm sorry!". 

Yesterday, June 8, new photos appeared of Liam Payne arriving at a 60th anniversary for a place called Annabel's, an exclusive private club in London, UK.  He looked terrific in a pin-stripe suit, sporting a new cross tattoo on his neck and a Zayn Malik-like wayward lock of hair over his right temple (nice shout out to your guy, Liam!).  

One note on Annabel's, which requires a 1750£ GBP annual membership, plus 450£ initial joining fee.  This is now the second time, we are seeing Liam attending an exclusive club, no doubt because he could gain some privacy there. More on the two clubs later in the post.

And more shout out's to his guy, Zayn, with this one being even louder.  During promo for Soccer Aid (huge thanks to the fans who locate the labels, designers, etc. on these guys' wardrobes and share their findings! 💝):

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Her tweet explains it all - the shared denominator of Batman and, of course, the colors of red and yellow, which represent their mic colors.  A wonderfully blatant tip of the hat.  Because of the exclusivity of the club and Liam arriving alone, Narnia would bet money it was Zayn he was going to meet up with inside.

Wake up this morning however, and why should this not surprise?   The previous beard suddenly appears from out of nowhere, allegedly at his side.   

The Daily Fail states the location as Annabel's in London, where an anniversary event was being held and we were told he was attending.  The Daily Fail’s post consisted of a handful of hinky looking photos.  From the Daily Fail alone, there are numerous inconsistencies in length of fingers and heights of involved parties, visible non-3D layering, and implausible extremity logistics.

 

Liam's fingers aren't even "holding" hers

 

Just how long is her index finger? What's going on with its fingernail?

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Note:   Not to mention, isn't her thumb nail at an odd angle?   And his palm is laying ON hers.  There's no clasping going on there.  

 

logistically, the angle of her hand is nuts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Again with the layering.  His hand is just laid on top of hers, no clasping.  That's the photo shopping.

 

Where are her fingers?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do we have clasping here?  😀  Where are the rest of his fingers, though?  That is a mess going on with their hands.

Then there's the lack of engagement between the two. No conversation.  No laughing.  No anything.  The guest in the silver long dress is constantly in the photos, anyone know who she is?  A publicist?  Why would a publicist be third wheeling to a party?  Why is she in so many of the photos?

 

And the biggest inconsistency:

 

The Daily Fail says they were leaving Annabel's.

 

Liam Payne and Kate Cassidy confirmed their romance is back on, while leaving Annabel's 60th anniversary party hand-in-hand. - The Daily Fail

 

While Metro UK and Just Jared, using some of the same photos and with the same door-person in the background, are saying what?

"Liam and Kate were snapped at the Chiltern Firehouse in glamorous Marylebone on Thursday night" - Metro UK

 

Just Jared says they were arriving:

"The 29-year-old “Strip That Down” singer and the 24-year-old Instagram influencer kept close as they arrived at The Chiltern Firehouse on Thursday night (June 8) in London, England." - Just Jared

Aaaaah.  "Arrived".   "At"  "Leaving".

This is one of the photos from the Metro UK website, which stated Liam and the beard were leaving The Chiltern Firehouse, located at 1 Chiltern Street, Marylebone, London, England.  Note the door-person on the left.

Metro UK, "The Chiltern Firehouse"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And this is one of the photos from the Daily Fail, who said their photos were taken at Annabel's, a completely different club.  It's located at 45 Berkeley Square, London.   The same door-person is on the left.

 

The Daily Mail, "Annabel's"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh wait, the two photos look the same, don't they?  That's because they are the same photo.  It's just that they're posted on two different web sites.  With two different locations. 

These two claimed locations are not the same.  There is 1.3 miles between them.

 

 

Hmmmm.  Does the door-person have a twin???

 

More like, somebody's lying.  If the photos are supposed to be true, why is there lying about the location?  

Why is there photo shopping?

Even if Sony gained the beard entrance into either private club (which they could do, absolutely), the same club where Liam was, why do you have to photo shop her with him?

 

Also important:  The photos of Liam arriving at Annabel's were released on June 8.  Not until the next day, June 9, were the photos allegedly with the beard released on The Daily Fail, Metro UK, People, Just Jared, et al.

 

Why the delay?  

We've seen this done before.  That's because Mgmnt needed photos of Liam so that the photo edits could be done.  That does take some time.  We should have had the photos with the beard the same time as Liam's initially appeared, which was Thursday the 8th. 

Just like other management teams and record labels do with their artists, Sony has also shown, time after time, how much they love to deflate and demoralize the One Direction fandom.   Especially, right before a prominent public appearance like Soccer Aid practice today, on Saturday. And particularly after one of the two couples in the group does a shout out to their significant other. Red and yellow. Batman signal, anyone? Even though there is obvious evidence that there are many more freedoms for the group in 2023, there are still undeniable signs that all five (5) band members are still not free.  

And, as long as that is the case, this kind of water balloon dropping is going to happen. Simply remember that these guys are survivors and, in many ways, warriors. The light at the end of the tunnel is visible. There is a masterplan. 

pic sources:  The Daily Fail, Metro UK, Just Jared, Giphy, GetYarn, GoogleMaps

our playlist:  Will the Wolf Survive - Los Lobos

                      Closer to Free - BoDeans

                      Breaking Free - from High School Musical, Drew Seeley & Vanessa Hudgens

                      Big Girls Don't Cry - Fergie