October ended in a two week flurry of yellow flags for Narnia's two kings of Sham, Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols, along with the former's go-to guest star beard, "bestie," Greta Caruso. Given the guys' obvious need of attention, Narnia would like to permanently document their antics in that special way we like to do. ;-)
Let's roll the highlight reel for Jake Gyllenhaal over the last several weeks. First off, Management obviously felt that there was a need for a renewal of the periodic meme that "Jake lives in New York City". Therefore, once again, we see Jake's tush squished into canvas director chairs repeatedly, with various interviewers, bland back drops, and muffled questions captured on video. Mostly Instagram-based activity, but somehow attendees were able to capture limited footage of mearding moments like this one.
In other words, very controlled glimpses of Jake designed to send certain PR constructed messages.
jakebullshittingovereverybody credits (for once!) someone named Jessica Marza for the video, although if you check out Ms. Marza's Instagram, there are no videos or pictures from the Q & A on her account; in fact, she only has 22 posts. Another post credits (gasp!) someone called "ihavedepressionsis" for their pictures, but alas, their account is privated. Darn the luck. Yet another post credits @photojuice, but if you look at their instagram account, they only shared a photo of Bill Camp from one of the Q & A's, but none of Jake. Just sort of interesting sources...
Then there was the Headstrong Project Annual Gala which has been held around the date of Baby Tile's birthday for the last three years in a row. What a coincidence - said no one at Narnia, lol. Not when one of the Tiles' birthday is on Oct. 17th and an event such as this can be used to try to prove Jake couldn't possibly have any children because what parent would step out on any possible celebratory festivities?
2016 - Monday, Oct 16
2017 - Tuesday, Oct 17
2018 - Thursday, Oct 18
Here's Jake on October 18 at the "New York Gala"... at where else, but New York City,
Jake Gyllenhaal, Joe Quinn, Seth Meyer and Zach Iscol attend the 6th Annual Headstrong New York Gala (18/10) in New York City pic.twitter.com/e4Ho8D32tf— J. Gyllenhaal Updates (@badpostsjake) October 19, 2018
Supposedly, on the 29th, the recurring lonesome stroll around Tribeca on a deserted sidewalk via People.com. Funny how NY is one of the most crowded international cities in the world, yet the moment Jake appears, everyone seems to scatter. LOLLLLL!
Here's a "livestream" uploaded on YouTube back on the 15th.
Crickets on October 17, Baby Tile #1's birthday.
via GIPHY
MORE Q & A's the weekend of Oct 26 with matching beanies and enabling participant, Ben Stiller.
Got to see Ben Stiller and Paul Dano and Jake Gyllenhaal I’m okay I’m okay pic.twitter.com/A1S0jcdvPG— Zack Pizzazz (@5nowdog5) October 27, 2018
Warning! Warning! Fake posing directly up ahead. And how do we know shenanigans are afoot? Well, when tweets like this appear and pictures are posted on jakebullshittingovereverybody highlighting the "snoozing", staging and propping are surely going on.
That's it. Where is #JakeGyllenhaal? I need to give him a hug immediately. Look at his face! Gotta love him xxx pic.twitter.com/kWcGO9xQWZ— shelly (@michellelane39) October 28, 2018
More empty sidewalk strolls #WheresLeo, #shorts, #muffler, #wintercap, #noshowsocks.
Contradictions regarding appropriate weather attire abound here, don't you think? Is it Spring, Summer Winter, or Fall? Well, Jake is a man for all seasons after all. Always prepared, like the boy scout we know he is. *smirk*
And with all that, we're still not done yet. Jake's last several public weeks of October ended with a loudly trumpeted "platonic" NBA game outing with his "bestie", aka speed dial beard, Greta Caruso. While the likes of the enabling ubiquitous Gyllenhaal Instagrammer jakebullshittingovereverybody, Just Jared, and the Daily Fail loudly bull-horned that the daughter of actor David Caruso is just a long-time, platonic, pal and bestie.....
"longtime friend",
"longtime BFF"
"longtime pal"
But in that characteristic Daily Fail way, they couldn't resist just a bit of "hmmm" with the whispering reference. LOL!
So lots of "Riccolo" shouting of "longtime pal," "BFF," and did I mention "longtime," planted comments of "girlfriend?" and emphatic reminders of being"friends,"
and yet...........
and yet...........
you have this,
Along with a zoom lens shot of Jake sniffing Caruso's foundation and moisturizer where her attire seems to be slipping (LOL), aka a common trait of a Hollywood beard which is stepping out the door with skin-bearing bearding attire,
and the "find someone who looks at you the way etc., etc." shot,this time Greta carrying out her half of the deal......
The kiss cam moment without the smooch, but another dose of "bestie" and "best friend goals" captions.
Let's put it this way, I Heart Jake and Instagram could have saved a lot of cyber space had they simply posted this single live look at Mr. Jakey,
LOL! Whadya think? When one needs to have a beard, yet doesn't want to sign that piece of paper.....wants to sell the hetero, yet doesn't want to actually extend themselves on the PDA and date nights....when one wants to tease "Are they??.....or aren't they....", but yet doesn't want flagrant headlines on the internet for one of the multitude of Baby Tiles to find.....Well, one makes sure all of the press releases insist upon "bestie" and "long time pal", but uses pictures like these to lure viewers into seeing that "little something extra", only to wonder later if they had seen what they thought they were seeing. In other words, interpretation and any possible accusation of "Well, you're the one who sees something that isn't there!" falls into the lap of the fan, not Jake or Greta for leading viewers on. See how that works?
— #DubNation (@DubNation_net) October 29, 2018
Remember, a picture is worth a thousand words without actually having to move the lips.
Again, this narrative in the Nets/Warriors pictures is classic, Grade A taunting.
But, speed dialing Jake wasn't done yet. Following the Brooklyn Nets photo op, we saw Jake throwing a screening party for another go-to, Big Sis Maggie in New York City,
Pictures which were quite similar to these same pics from the NYC premiere on Oct 10,
Very cute pics of Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal at the premiere of THE KINDERGARTEN TEACHER which is a great movie! pic.twitter.com/lBBsctKBJK— THE MANI WHO WASN'T THERE (@ManiLazic) October 10, 2018
A red carpet movie premiere which had their PR teams hyper-focused on the siblings, while the fellow peer actor "husband" was reduced to "oh, and also in attendance" status and a thumbnail pic down at the bottom of the post. LOL !! Where.....oh! there he is!
The common trait of a Hollywood beard again, an abundance of bare female skin, hey even if it's your sibling! ;-)
Another message sent in Jake's OTT displays is gavel'ed in this Instagram caption by the Management run site -
"family over everything..."
- not his own family because to the general public, they are nonexistent, right? But this caption refers to his family which consists of Maggie and her daughters. Not even matriarch Naomi because we do not see her anymore; she's only mentioned in interviews. Nor does "his family" refer to Peter any longer, because we don't see Jake and Peter together, something about a ping pong table and keying a car, disintegrating marriage, etcetera etcetera. The threesome of Jake, Maggie and Peter couldn't even manage to take a photo together for her New York City premiere.
On the 29th through the 31st, a new meme robot began linking Jake to fellow WME/Endeavor artist Rami Malek, who had a
jake gyllenhaal picking up rami malek to go on their daily trip to spit on their fans pic.twitter.com/ArFrtmzz4h— v (@yslchasms) October 30, 2018
rami malek and jake gyllenhaal when their fans get run over in the street before they reach them and ask for videos https://t.co/GzyGT1yqLU— montie (@isleofcrema) October 30, 2018
— ππππ ✰ (@gayparkers) October 30, 2018
jake gyllenhaal and rami malek battling to see who hates their fans more bc all they do is get bullied pic.twitter.com/IwkFRknx8p— brianna (@jacktwst) October 30, 2018
BREAKING NEWS: actor Jake Gyllenhaal photographed seconds before he mowed down a group of his fans outside of his apartment complex this morning. pic.twitter.com/HDtzHUbN4o— leahπ· (@keanurvs) October 30, 2018
Likely a scheme to link two WME/Endeavor clients together and also stuff Jake's social media timelines with content while he traveled to be with his real, but hidden family in Texas. Remember, robot tweets are often distractions, giving Jake cover as he travels to where he's not supposed to be seen. Filling up his search with nonsense, in case a real sighting leaks through.
Let's end this walk down memory lane with a parting shot of Jake's crowning October exit, complete with mearding, bearding, gaslighting, and taunting. A Quadfecta, if you will.
Yup, yup, yup. That's pretty much it. Although not too much to write home about.
And so let's move on to Jake's better half, Mr. Austin, and the last several weeks of his October comings and goings. As had been noted in a recent post, we know that Austin was in Atlanta the weekend prior to Halloween. There were a couple of rare video interviews that came out of the convention, something Austin Nichols fans are unfamiliar with, but when they happen, it seems as though parades and confetti are in order. ;-)
Then there was this one,
Austin Nichols has some awesome memories of working with Andrew Lincoln on #TheWalkingDead. Also, @AustinNichols a super cool dude. #WSCAtlanta— Brandon Davis (@BrandonDavisBD) October 29, 2018
Full interview: https://t.co/v43XrTGhBf pic.twitter.com/wXLyk0I4iG
Wow! Amazing. We go years without interviews and in one weekend, we had two. Austin fans were feasting!
Following the Atlanta convention, Austin bull horned that he had motored on to his namesake hometown, Austin TX, for there was a film festival to attend - the Austin Film Festival. In case of any doubt or skepticism, an abundance of Instagram Stories were posted on social media to show he was indeed in the Big T. A funny thing happened along the way - something from Atlanta accompanied Austin to his hometown, this particular travel companion popping up in video and camera captures over and over and over. Sort of like that NFL penalty, right? Hands to the face, this author believes it is called.
It all seemed to start back on October 13 with his
— Austin Nichols daily (@AustinNsource) October 13, 2018
With his right hand frequently visible in convention photos with arms around the shoulders of fans, holding microphones in interviews, and motioning in conversation, and a noticeable increase in his own social media, the plain gold band was hard to miss.
— AUSTIN NICHOLS (@AustinNichols) November 1, 2018
Can't....miss....the....
π· | @AustinNichols interviewed today with @LaneGarrison2 #TheIronOrchard pic.twitter.com/8CWp29ymz0— Austin Nichols daily (@AustinNsource) October 30, 2018
This is a fun interview, although again. With the ring, Austin.
Ref, can we get another flag over here?
Even via the tight closet enabling bro-in-law Rowdy, whose Instagram remains locked up but thanks to another
— Austin Nichols daily (@AustinNsource) November 1, 2018
Can't.....see....
from the glare of that ring...
Sorry, Ebenezer!! But yes, hard to ignore, hard to dismiss...not to mention we haven't seen Austin wearing a ring since the old, old days of Big Blue, so that dates back to the early Toothy Tile and Grey Goose era.
With planted Instagram comment exchanges between the loved-up Mr. Nichols and Hassle, like "Hurry home to me" and "Homesick, homesick, homesick" (is that in any way related to "No no no no no no!"? Just asking!), the idea of Austin growing a renegade, wild hair and giving a public husband shout-out would be extremely misguided.
Gaslighting? Taunting? Oh, definitely possible. When a thick, gold band ring is practically rubbed into the camera lens as often and as conspicuously obvious as Austin has been doing, no doubt the gesture is intended to elicit a reaction of some sort.
Is it a possible a planted seed? Despite Jake still downplaying his Mysterio role in Spiderman: Far From Home, make no mistake, this will be his most highly visible role since Prince of Persia. Take this prelude, for example:
Fans believe that Dark Berry Dr. Pepper is going to be used to promote the upcoming SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME, as the bottle contains a silhouette that could be Jake Gyllenhaal’s Mysterio. (via @MarvelousRealm) pic.twitter.com/ATJw1eqdFR— Comic Fade (@ComicFade) October 31, 2018
Jake's character Mysterio is going to be on a limited edition series of Dr. Pepper bottles. This is going to be a big tent-pole, blockbuster movie role for Jake, the likes he hasn't seen since Prince of Persia some ten years ago. With Marvel and Sony combining forces at the helm and opening over the July 4 holiday, it will just about be guaranteed a large audience.
Apart from Spider-Man himself, you can't really get more "major" than the character who will likely serve as Far From Home's main villain. - via Cinema blend
That sounds pretty big, doesn't it? And given Jake's aversion to bearding...well, let's just say someone has to step up to the plate. Is the ring a roll-out to a fake marriage for Austin and Hassle? Quite possible.
Tent-pole flick. Marvel. Spiderman. DC universe. Product endorsements. Comic Cons. Tom Holland piggy-back rides (Sorry Paul Dano! Sorry lobster Riz! You two will be yesterday's news, we're afraid.).
Sony. WME/Endeavor.
Those last two words are the final two words in that check list of how big and important this movie role is going to be for Jake. If there will be a sacrifice lifted up to the bearding gods, it won't be him. It will be Austin.
Because when he can't even attend a full sporting event when bearding, well, let's say Jake's already shown he doesn't possess an A-game. In these NBA video highlights from that game on October 28 which range from the beginning of the 1st quarter and scan the crowd back and forth through the 2nd, Jake and Greta Caruso don't show up in their seats until possibly 8+ minutes remaining in the third quarter. If you wish to watch for yourself, their seats are on your viewing left at the end of the court (that's right, not even prime court status, sorry Jakers!). You can see the young man in all-white who was sitting to Jake's left. He is there throughout the entire highlights. We don't see Jake and his beard until the reel hits around the 8:28 mark. LOL!!!! Too hilarious.
Perhaps the cab driver was going to sit outside with the meter running. Aaaah, the little things one finds when one is on lunch break......
And so that was the October of Jake and Austin, quite the display, wasn't it? For right now, hoopla and antics have died down. Game over. Shhhhhhh....the babes are all asleep...
That is, until the next upcoming birthday.
;-)
Collaboration - PG and M&M
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IHJ, You Tube, Daily Mail, OK Magazine
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5 comments:
And that next birthday is coming up pretty darn quick and they know that we know it. So the yellow caution flag will come out and we'll go another round of this kind of crappy nonsense.
I'm sorry, but it is what it is. Jake doesn't want to beard so he uses Greta and his sister to do it for him. As long as they're female and willing to gaslight for provocative pictures, hey he doesn't care.
And that constant "bestie" and "long time" and hey, didn't you know they've been on holidays together and they're just friends, didn't you know? *smirk*
Whatever, buddy.
And we'll see where Management is heading with that bling on Austin's finger. It's not any shoutout to Jake because he's been waving it around since Oct 13. Just now noticed it though during the Walker Stalker con. LOLLLLL!! Sorry, buddy!
We see it now. And big tent pole movies with lots of high visibility, mearding, soda pop bottle labels all add up to Jake needing to put up something on the table. And it very well could be Austin having to go through a fake marriage with the bumblehead beard.
We'll see. Narnia will follow every step of the way. ;-)
Chiefs won, woohoo!! I'm excited. And I'm pooped. Big week ahead and some favorite annual fall activities, Lord willing. :-)
Everyone thanks for checking Narnia out - hope we can all learn some things together on this ride.
I don't have enough brain cells to follow this one tonight, LOL. But what the heck is all this stuff about Jake and Rami Malik hating the fans (shakes head). I just saw Bohemian Rhapsody this weekend. Not the best film, but I did enjoy it a lot, and I thought Malik was great in it.
I also went to one of the special screenings of Wildlife a week ago. Jake came out before the movie, but he didn't stick around for questions afterwards, only Paul Dano did. Jake really looked good, as usual. Since it was just a quick introduction, he didn't even bother taking his coat off though. Wonder why he was in such a hurry to get away.
I really liked the movie, although Jake's part is somewhat small.
I also went to one of the special screenings of Wildlife a week ago. Jake came out before the movie, but he didn't stick around for questions afterwards, only Paul Dano did. Jake really looked good, as usual. Since it was just a quick introduction, he didn't even bother taking his coat off though. Wonder why he was in such a hurry to get away.
Oh reeeeeally.....Dest, thanks for this information. *thumbs up* Reminds me of that time when you, Florida Tom & m went to another screening and that one was pure gold because he didn’t show up at all for the Q & A after the movie. And why was that? Because he was off to Texas and he got caught at I’m trying to think what festival it was, Austin City Limits? I’m going to have to go back and find when that happened.
Oh, believe me, this was Tums-required reading. I tweeted it out late on Sunday night and I warned people “Do NOT attempt to read this tonight - you’ll have nightmares.” LOL.
Good to see you, Destiny!! :-)
And while I’m here, may I add hooray for Sharice Davids winning!! The Sunflower State of Kansas did great!!
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