[psst! Warning to those under 18 - there is nudity in the post!]
LOL! Timberrrrrr...
Well, here we are. Christmas Eve and some of us are still wrapping. Still taking a sip of the 'nog. If you have any children, you may be watching The Grinch Who Stole Christmas for the 45th time.
Narnia Dispatches would like to take this time to wish everyone a very Merry Holiday season. To those in the midst of the eight nights of Festival of Lights, a Happy Hanukkah. And as for our OTP men and honorary members? Well...
'Twas the Night Before Christmas, when all through the house,
not a One Directioner was stirring, not even a mouse
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
The One D'ers were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of Patrick Mahomes danced in their heads;
and Jake in his 'kerchief,
and Austin sandwiched by caps,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Austin sprang from his bed
to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon
on the breast of the new fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to Travis Kelce's eyes below.
When, what to my wondering Austin-eyes
should appear,
But a bigass sleigh full of Gyllenichols goslings,
and six Padackles Dingle-Judas Dream-offs,
With a little old driver
so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. "Nichols".
More rapid than eagles his coursers they came,
And he whistled,
and shouted,
and called them by name;
"Now BT1! now BT2! now BT3 and BT4!
On, Padackle1! on, Padackle2! on, Padackle3 and 4!"
To the top of the pap-proof condo! to the top of the wall!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!'
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;
So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
With the sleigh full of toys,
and St. Nichols too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,
Down the chimney, St. Nichols came down with a bound.
He was dressed all in fur,
from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all covered in ashes and soot;
A bundle of toys he had slung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.
His eyes -- how they twinkled!
his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses,
his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;
He had a broad face and a little round belly
That shook, when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;
a wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk
And laying his finger inside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;
He sprang to his sleigh,
to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down on a thistle
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Can I have just a little?" Whaaaa? No, no, no, no, Adam!! That's not what he said. He said,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a Good Night!!"
Bravo, men!!! Bravo!!!
Narnia Dispatches wants to again, wish all of our visitors and readers a very Merry Christmas!!
pic sources: Giphy, tenor, deskgram, rphelper, freerepublic, gifer,
pinterest, Royals.com, Columbia Dispatch, GQ,
Facebook, Listal, Times Malta, Perez Hilton
our playlist: What a Glorious Night - Sidewalk Prophets
Light of the Stable - Selah
All Creation Sing (Joy to the World) - Seth Condrey
Born is the King (It's Christmas) - Hillsong
Go Tell It on the Mountain - Seabird
Christmas Day - Michael W Smith w/ Mandisa
And To All a Good Night - Band of Merrymakers
4 comments:
What a festive and cheeky post, PG. Loved it. I'm not sure if Blake Shelton will be pleased with the chubby and plump elf designation, but alas...if the curly-toed slipper fits. LOL! And who doesn't love 'Stylish" dimples and Gyllenhaal "moon" shots? Am I right? Ah, and to be young and able to fall asleep anywhere. Those were the days.
Oh, and how much did Mr. Nichols look like he enjoyed being that mid-day snack? Or is it a whole damn meal? Sorry, Jakey. But, if you snooze, you lose. In any event, I'm finally feeling better, although still recovering from that darn flu that's been going around so this post certainly helped to lift my spirits. Hope everyone had a wonderful holiday and may 2020 bring smashing successes to all our OTPs. With a special shout out to Liam Payne who deserves so much better than the sabotage he had to endure for his first album. We see you Sony/Syco and are not being fooled by the scripted/manufactured interviews, or the re-imaging campaign. Having followed 1D for nearly 9 years, no one will rebrand these guys as anything other than the multi-talented, hard-working, and kind-hearted young men that they are. They are still standing despite the career sabotage and brutal closeting.
One day they will be free. While Simon Cowell will be living on botox and his "restructured" face. We here at Narnia have to ask, "Does the man not own a mirror?"
Oh my DOGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
My apologies to everyone if you listen to the music player and had to listen to Auld Lang Syne until this morning. LOL!
I had tried to change the music yesterday and ran into a brick wall. I mean, BOOM. Things stopped working and so I was telling ol' M&M about it this morning and when I got home, we both got on our computers to try and see if things would start anew with no issues. Oh no. No, it couldn't do that. And so then we tried a different music player and that didn't work either and so I threw in the towel and said well, that's that. No more music and so I was pissed.
But lol. M&M, being the problem solver that she always is, tried to see what I was talking about and see the computer screen that I was seeing and long story short, she ended up resolving the issue!!!
So once again, M&M has come to the rescue and bailed out my #WhiteFlag ass. We won't go into the gory, car wreck details that was me going into a cell phone meltdown, but just know that whichever of us goes first, you will either have a blog with no music and the same closet/pantry/mudroom/sheshed picture and color template for the next 50 years (if I go first) ORRRRRRRRR
you will have a bunch of leaping off the dock posts and a lot of "Okay, well PG was wrong, it looks like and now this is me eating crow." (if she goes first)
LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Yup, it's going to be one of those scenarios. ;D
Wow, time to get rid of the Christmas pudding, too. I have really just been slacking. Well, I'm back to work on my War & Peace Musings post. It's going to be like a CVS receipt.
LOLLL! Well, I guess that means neither of us can "leave" then. Waves victory flag high while unfurling my cape. :-)
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