Tom Holland, You Missed a Few Words To Your Love, Jakey G

Ohhhh, missed a spot!!

lol.  Look at that guy popping up just long enough to point out a miss.

Kind of like this big ol' whiff of Tom Holland's in what's supposed to be a shoutout to his "hubs" Jakers.  And once again, he swings,

.
.
.
and he misses.

“And last but not least... my love... Jake Gyllenhaal”

THIS DUO GIVES ME LIFEEEEE pic.twitter.com/YXci1DBp8B

— Hannah. (@SpideysGalaxy) March 24, 2020

 

Well, we see the words "my love Jake Gyllenhaal" ....

but not quite hearing them, Master Holland. 

Kind of like when both he and Jake couldn't pull off their romance together for the camera on the carpet at the premiere of Far From Home.  Remember that one?  Jake recited his lines first without any sign of Thomas.  And then Holland recited his lines and called for the hubs, but Jake was nowhere to be found.  We have the same interviewer, but....both men fell a few New York City bricks short of a brownstone chimney when it came to performing their act together for the interviewer.

Narnia is pretty sure Team Mara, er - the fellas will be seen working to improve on this, but we wanted to go ahead and ask for a clarification.

In the meantime, perhaps there was a trade off from which other fans can benefit *wink* :

aaaaand some of us can look forward to seeing Jake put together his push-up response while trying to keep his and Austin's kiddos out of the video.  Just don't be this dad, Jake! 

  


















LOL!!  Just think, at some point, if they haven't already, this has been or will be Jake and/or Austin.  At some point.

And that's pure gold just to think about.  😁




cc:  gfycat, giphy, imgur
our playlist: Cheap Seats - Alabama
                    Centerfield - John Fogerty
                    Hollywood Swinging - Kool & the Gang

 

Spider-Man Premiere, June 26, 2019: Far From Reality

A symbol of Hollywood's glitz and glamour, red carpets are usually all about being seen. In addition to dressing up, being interviewed, selling a new project, a fake relationship, and in this particular case a bromance-romance between two male co-stars, each of whom were trying a bit too hard to sell their "love" for each in front of the cameras. The over the top performances from that day, almost like these two had something to hide.

Part II - Narnia Said It Would Be So: The Jake Gyllenhaal/Junior "Tom" Holland Romance

That's right, hiding something, or more like someone, who was lurking in the shadows, behind the scenes. A certain someone who is supposed to be out of sight, out of mind: Austin Nichols.

Exhibit A, initially the only evidence Austin was at Jake's Spider-man premiere on social media, i.e. Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr:

The caption (in case you can't read it!)?  "#austinnichols *hearteyes emoji* June 2019"  How generic is that? No idea where he was at, what date the pic was taken, or what he was doing other than walking and carrying his cell phone.

Well, after a little sleuthing, guess where Austin was sighted and on what date? That's right. This was Management's fallback position just in case someone observed that Austin couldn't be seen in Jake's vicinity at the Far From Home Los Angeles premiere.

Well as we can see, Austin Nichols was indeed very much present at the premiere of Far From Home.  Here's a notable clue from a photo recently posted elsewhere just this past Wednesday on July 17th, three weeks later:

Thanks, neighbor!  And there's the recognizable Hollywood Walk of Fame sidewalk stars in the photo above.  Unless one is an intense student of tile, one would never have guessed that this picture, which was posted first on June 28, two days after the premiere,

was from the famous TCL Chinese Theatre where the Walk of Stars is located.  But, do you see any stars here?  No, I don't either.  But ohhhh, here is the layout on Wire Images which has the pictures showing that this was, in fact, where Austin was photographed that day.

Even though, interestingly enough, no one mentions that he was at the Far From Home premiere at all.  How are they labeled?  Well, they're in the broad category "Celebrity Sightings in Los Angeles, CA", with Austin's photos sweepingly captioned:  "LOS ANGELES, CA - June 26:  Austin Nichols is seen on June 26 in Los Angeles, CA".

Now Zimbio does have two of the photos on their website (credit given to the same photographer).  But, on Google, the pictures are listed as "Austin Nichols Outside the Spider-Man: Far From Home Premiere, June 27.  But, June 27 is incorrect, since the premiere was on the 26th.   

The "outside"the Spider-Man Far From Home premiere is also telling.  In other words, according to the official records, Austin Nichols is on the outside looking in.  But, we here at Narnia beg to differ with Zimbio's version of events.  See, we have footage of Austin indeed "outside".  Obviously, looking for someone.  Here's a screen cap of Austin Nichols asking, "Where's my husband?" to the photographer, who had asked "What's up, man?"  ;-)

And, here's the buried video:  You have to scroll down several rows to find the video

 Oh, and let's not forget the "exclusive new footage" from "undercover" Narnia sources, of Austin "outside" holding both hands up as he looked for someone who had eight (8) tickets:

Just kidding!  Seriously though, remember, Jakers said there were "a couple of Gyllenhaal's here tonight" after all, a bit of an understatement with the ark-load he and Austin have bred, but he can't give it all away, right?  Let's insert the footage of Jake stumbling over his (ne'er more true) words once again,

jake gyllenhaal getting tongue tied is the best thing you will see today pic.twitter.com/n6vuKqTVXb

— c (@ruffalorumour) June 28, 2019

One more point about how Red Carpets are also used as a canvas to convince the public that someone was in attendance.  Add a flimsy Instagram post to provide personalized corroboration and the visual evidence becomes "irrefutable" even though several posting oddities are hard to explain, like the inconsistency of the named location:

With Cadieu, the public is told that she was at TCL Chinese Theatres, when the actual promoted event was at TCL Chinese Theatre (singular, not plural).

HOLLYWOOD, LOS ANGELES (KABC) -- It was a star-studded night at the TCL Chinese Theatre in Hollywood on Wednesday as Marvel Studios and Sony Pictures joined forces for the world premiere of "Spider-Man: Far From Home." 

With Harrison it was an extra "s" and an outdated name which hasn't been used since 2001: Mann's Chinese Theatres

Why not just use TCL Chinese Theatre throughout? An obvious explanation is that PR teams like inconsistency to sow confusion. Especially when it is so easy nowadays to place a pic of someone in a gown or flashy pantsuit in front of a logo display board and say, "See they were there too!" If these shadowy women were truly at the Far From Home premiere, why no pics of either of them with their respective "boyfriend"? Or with one another, since the official narrative is that Cadieu and Harrison are besties? No, it's pretty obvious that the bare minimum was done to "place" these two women at Jake's premiere. While Austin Nichols, the only one of the three whose pictures actually had the correct location of TCL Chinese Theatre throughout, was shoved behind the scenes, apparently trying to hook up with a ticket scalper to get in. LOLLLLL!  *wink*

Below is Harrison leaving without an Austin Nichols in sight. How very odd, don't you think? She's all dressed up and escort-less; while Austin is spotted outside casually attired and looking all kinds of relaxed with nothing to prove to anyone.

And then Cadieu - funny how WireIMAGE seemed to get the location right, although still no money shot with her and Jake. 
 

Gee, it looks like all of the accompanying fanfare that came with the Spider-man premiere is a gift that just keeps on giving. The antics in front of the camera hardly comparing to the low-key, behind the scenes arrival of Jake's real husband. Sorry, Tom. Not sorry.
 


pic sources:  Wire Images, Zimbio
our playlist:  Standing in the Shadows of Love - The Four Tops
                     Save Me - Dave Mason
                     You've Got to Hide Your Love Away - The Beatles

When You Need Cover-Up for Your Cover-Up

A live look at WME/Endeavor and Jake Gyllenhaal's Public Relations Team after their dastardly doin's of having Austin's July 14 Instagram post altered.

In case you were not aware, after Narnia Dispatches published "The Quietest Clapback" on Sunday, July 14, Austin's Instagram post was changed quite noticeably.  Gone was the pointed and personalized "Hey @tomholland2013 can I be Spider Man when I grow up?" and replaced with the generic, "I'm gonna be Spider Man when I grow up" @spidermanmovie @marvelstudios.  

  Here's the original statement, posted on July 11.

And then orders were issued from on high, and an intern took out their correction tape,

and voila!

View this post on Instagram

I’m gonna be Spider-Man when I grow up. @spidermanmovie @marvelstudios

A post shared by Austin Nichols (@austinnichols) on Jul 11, 2019 at 11:55am PDT

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm not exactly hearing Sergeant Schultz here, lol.

Perhaps Junior had some kind of objection???  Maybe someone stayed after class to talk to the teacher?  Holland???

Narnia will stand behind Austin full stop on this one.  He has been censored; put in his place.  Imagine those of you, like myself, who are on social media and someone either tells you to change your tweet or Tumblr post, or has access to your account and takes an eraser to your thoughts and expressions.  They then take out that Fat Sharpie and scribble words for you.  "Here.  This is what you really meant to say, isn't it?"

Austin and Jake came to an agreement on their life road a long time ago.  But it is times like this that reminds them both of the price that comes from being in the closet and publicly denying that the other exists.

Perhaps Jake needs to look at his life partner and realize that most folks have a threshold level for tolerance of all the nonsense that he pulled with Holland. No matter how scripted, words and actions can have consequences on other people.  This goes for any romantic partner of Holland's as well. 

Remember that WME/Endeavor also manages Tom Holland (no surprise there), so they have a built-in win-win with this kind of redaction.  What they didn't win at was totally erasing the original post.  Sorry fellas.

pic sources:  giphy, wikipedia
our playlist:  Stand By Your Man - Tammy Wynette
                     You Can't Change That - Raydio

The Quietest Clapback

Way back in the day, Jake and Austin have given several shout outs to each other.  There was the bling,

The bird shout outs from Jake,

That "Stick It" Chicago Bulls ballcap, "Hey!" from Jake...

[By the way, do you know what date the above Chicago Bulls cap outing was dated on IHJ?   11.11.15.  That would be the birthday of the Baby Tile we at Narnia believe was born on 11.11.11.  :-) ]

Here's one that we missed and thanks to a poster on Tumblr who was posting antique beard nonsense, this little nicety was noticed.  The sharing of a Sturgis cap by these two men. (Sturgis is a city in South Dakota where the biggest motorcycle rally is held annually.)

and then Austin's turn,

Even though that particular set of Laker photos did not reflect a happy situation, it was still nice seeing the sharing and the shout out to each other.

The last several years we have seen few to scarce acknowledgements of each other publicly, although The Day After Tomorrow shoutout in January 2018 was certainly a special kind of high-flying. 

But there's something to be said for being wildly surprised.  This wasn't a pleasant little shout out.  It was a summons.

Austin posted his Instagram on Thursday, July 11.  Forget the dialogue.  Look at who he tagged.

***NEWS ALERT 07 18 19***


Since this posted on Sunday, July 14, someone with access to Austin's account changed his caption.  This is how it looks now with Tom Holland's tag removed, replaced with a quite benign, G-rated, Mr. Rogers Neighborhood "Won't you be my friend?" caption:

View this post on Instagram

I’m gonna be Spider-Man when I grow up. @spidermanmovie @marvelstudios

A post shared by Austin Nichols (@austinnichols) on Jul 11, 2019 at 11:55am PDT

We're not quite positive when Austin's Instagram post was changed.   But it looks like someone wasn't happy with Austin asserting himself.  We'll take another look at this in our next post.  In the meantime...

Narnia out.  And remember,

 







(maybe we should change this to:  "You DID see something.", huh?)

I'm here to love you
Lay my heart on the line for you
Live and die for you

Sure as the sunrise, baby
You can bet that I'll be around
No way I'll go, I'll stay so close
I'll be there

I made a commitment of the heart
To keep this love together
I, I'll do whatever it takes
To make this love work out
I, I'm in this forever
I promise from the start, my baby

Commitment of the heart

I'll be right there beside you
Share the good and the bad times too
Pledge my soul only to you

Commitment of the Heart - Clive Griffin (Diane Warren composer)


pic sources:  giphy, gfycat, IHJ, OhMyGodot
our playlist:  Commitment of the Heart - Clive Griffin
                     Fight Fire With Fire - Kansas
                     Hey You - Bachman Turner Overdrive