Subtext and Hidden Meaning: Closeted Story Telling and Jake Gyllenhaal's Sasquatch Parable - Part 1

Glossary of terms:

Farce -  a comic, dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations  
Sasquatch (aka Bigfoot):  mythological simian, ape, or hominid-like creature that is said to inhabit forests, mainly in the Pacific Northwest.
Sacagawea (aka a Shoshone princess):  a Lemhi Shoshone woman who helped the Lewis and Clark Expedition achieve each of its chartered mission objectives exploring the Louisiana Purchase.
Primanti Brothers (Bros) is a chain of sandwich shops in the eastern United States, founded in Pittsburgh in 1933. The chain is known for its signature sandwiches of grilled meat, an Italian dressing-based cole slaw, and tomato slices, and French fries between two pieces of Italian bread.


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This past Tuesday night, Jake Gyllenhaal made a routine public appearance on the Jimmy Kimmel show to promote his new Tom Ford film, Nocturnal Animals.  Although this pre-release interview fit well within the lines of standard movie marketing practice, by the end of the ordeal circuitous conversation, not much had been revealed about plot or character.  In fact, even though there was a whole lot of selling going on, Jake's movie was not the focus of his pitch on that evening.  Instead, there appeared to be a whole lot of something else going on.  

In lieu of inside information about production locations, or fun stories about late night shoots, an unrelated topic dominated the banter that, at first glance, seemed nonsensical, yet when put under the microscope of scrutiny actually brings us a little bit closer to the inner machinations of the Hollywood closet.  Why discuss your latest film, when you have the opportunity to set the record straight about the off-the-wall topic of your relationship with Sasquatch?  That's right.  Sasquatch.  For over two minutes, Jake babbles and rambles, all the while attempting to clarify for everyone who Sasquatch actually is.  Not that anyone was asking, but somehow Jake felt it important to clear up the matter.

  
Kimmel starts out the peculiar discussion with an outright lie by stating that the conversation is justified because Jake discussed Sasquatch the last time he was on the show.  The only problem with this statement is that the time frame is completely false.  The original interview in which Jake introduced Sasquatch took place six years ago on December 3, 2009.  In the interim, Jake had been a scheduled guest on Kimmel on two separate occasions, which means that "last time" would not even be close to the truth.  When a host begins a mystifying conversation with a gross misstatement to support why a topic is being brought up in the first place, the viewer would be well served to buckle up and brace themselves for a wild ride.  When dealing with the closet, the cause for such deception is oftentimes related to a desperate attempt to distract from one's true sexual orientation or the gender fluidity of a celebrity.  Or in Jake's case, to bury the rumors that he is married to a man with whom he has had children through surrogacy births.

JK:  Last time you were here, you were talking about a friend whose name was Sasquatch as I recall.  Is this a boyhood friend? 
JG:  Yeah.
JK:  Are you still in contact with Sasquatch?
JG:  Occasionally, yeah.  When he decides to appear.
JK:  He's like the elusive Bigfoot?
JG:  Well, he's really only connected to like, with sporting events.
JK:  Oh, you guys watch sports together?
JG:  Not watch sports together.  Just like he's connected in one way or another.  Sort of through the universe.  Like Sasquatch appears.  Like I was at a Steelers game when I told you about Sasquatch first.  Like Sasquatch was there.  You know what I mean?  Sasquatch doesn't really have to be there.  But, whenever I talk about sports...whenever I'm watching a game, Sasquatch is sort of just there.  So like if there is any reference to anything sports-related, Sasquatch is there.
JK:  Is Sasquatch an imaginary friend?  Or, is this a real...[some of the audience laughs]
JG:  You can laugh.  That's fine.  I guess you could call him that.  [Jake avoids making eye contact with Kimmel]  I mean the other day, Sasquatch appeared on the subway.  On my way up to the City Center in New York where I did "Sunday in the Park with George."  And, he appeared in the form of an interesting exchange.  Yeah, no, no for real.  I was like on the subway.  I was reading my music.  I was getting ready for the show and this dude who was sitting on the subway just came up to me, "Hey, you're Aaron Rodgers."  And, I was like, "No dude.  I'm not Aaron Rodgers."  [He says] "C'mon, Aaron.  You're Aaron, man."  I was like, "I'm not."  He looked on his phone and he looked up pictures of Aaron Rodgers and he showed me, apparently "me."  He was like, "C'mon, Aaron."  And, I was like, "You're right.  You got me."  And, I'm like "I'm a great quarterback, aren't I?"  And, he's like, "You're alright.  Go Giants!"  What?  And in that moment, it was like, Sasquatch was with me.  Do you know what I mean?"
JK:  Not at all.
JG:  I'm really not sure either.


I don't know about anyone else, but the needle on my bullsh*t meter is overextended after measuring that exchange.

Here's the Sasquatch clip from Jake's appearance on Jimmy Kimmel this past week:

Maybe we can answer some of these questions by revisiting what Jake actually said on Jimmy Kimmel in 2009.  Like, "What was the point of all that?"  "Why bring up a mothballed topic in the first place?" And, even more importantly, "Why overhaul a story that Jake introduced six years ago?" 

written by M&M,  small contributor PG
To be continued in Part 2

picture source:  Pinterest
song:  Would I Lie To You - Eurythmics