Author's Note: This post thoughts and intent of self-harm as part of the subject's life story.
A big thank you goes to Florida Tom who earlier in the week had mentioned to me that there was a great story to check out about a former NFL player coming out. He added that the retired professional athlete was also a former Kansas City Chief as well as a New England Patriot.
As it turns out, I did not recognize his name, but I sure will remember it now. The player's name is Ryan O'Callaghan, an offensive tackle who is no longer playing due to career-ending injuries. I am convinced that with this week's Outsports profile, his continuing impact will now extend far beyond any headline-producing block he may have had while still playing the game. With honesty and compassion, he lets down his guard and bravely speaks out about being gay within his profession, one that is extremely repressive and stifling of those individuals who may be gay or bisexual (please see Michael Sam).
This article Former Patriots and Chiefs Tackle Ryan O'Callaghan Comes Out as Gay by Outsports.com is an excellent read and it does not matter if you aren't familiar with his career or you're an NBA fan or soccer, a Larrie fan, a J2 fan, a cop with Smallsville USA's finest, a bank teller, a $900k/salary per year CEO, a minister, a nurse, a Quik Trip clerk......doesn't matter.
Ryan's story is fundamentally about his personal and professional struggle which very easily could have resulted in near tragedy. But, his torments were made so much worse because of society's rejection and intolerance of the man he was born to be. Because he knew he was gay as far back as junior high school, this story covers Ryan's heart-wrenching journey before he became an NFL player. He shares his deepest emotions and insecurities; this is what touches you. This is real LIFE, not a publicist's carefully crafted talking points. I'm going to mention just a few excerpts, but please do yourself a favor and take some time to read this story. The issues raised and the experiences Ryan chronicles are contemporary in every way.
"If you’re a gay kid and you hear someone you love say ‘fag,’ it makes you think that in their eyes you’re just a fag too," O’Callaghan told Outsports on a recent visit to Los Angeles for his first-ever Pride celebration. "That got to me a lot."
O’Callaghan decided early on that he would hide behind football. The sport would be his "beard," and the jersey on his back would throw off the scent and keep his secret hidden for over a dozen years
Every media image O’Callaghan had seen of gay men had featured chiseled features and six-packs, so he let his appearance go, becoming a "sloppy straight guy." He started chewing tobacco because, he figured, you don’t see many gay men in TV and film doing that.
And finally,
"People need to understand that we are everywhere. We’re your sons, your daughters, your teammates, your neighbors. And honestly, even some of your husbands and wives. You just don’t know it yet."
"As long as there are people killing themselves because they are gay, there is a reason for people like me to share my story and try to help."
collaborated: Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser
pic source: Rolling Stone
our playlist: Elton's Song - Elton John
Born This Way - Lady Gaga
I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross
A Little Respect - Erasure
5 comments:
Good for this young man who is trying to do what’s right by standing up to the system and making a difference. He is indeed very brave and I wish him the best of luck. His willingness to come out can only help others through their own struggles.
This may get a little long-winded, but I’m riled up after having read the Sunday cover story in "The Observer" on Louis Tomlinson this evening. An underdog narrative is definitely being invented by Sony/Syco to justify and explain the unstable and anger-filled image that despicable team have been selling about Louis Tomlinson for years. Since 2012, when the rumors about Larry were everywhere, Louis was the one transformed into a “closet case” by management. Someone so homophobic that the fandom was told that he personally separated himself from his mortal enemy, Harry Styles, who was portrayed as the cooler, more talented, gender fluid member of 1D. Someone comfortable in his own skin. Unlike Louis, of course.
If one looks closely, in fact, the transformation that is taking place now is just a continuation of Sony/Syco lies. By March 2015, when Louis’ beard was discarded, Sony/Syco transformed Louis from the doting, domestic boyfriend to a rowdy party boy, going out to clubs, drinking into all hours of the morning, vehicles packed with ready, willing and able women to be transported “home” afterwards.
Since Sony/Syco have been abusing Louis for years, I can easily see how this article is trying to explain his behavior now. Why he hasn’t seemed to produce music like the others. Why he was arrested at LAX. Why he recklessly had a kid he hardly sees with a one night stand fling. Ah, yes. Louis as a victim, someone who has never felt himself worthy compared to the other guys in 1D. What a pile of excrement. That is not the Louis I know, but it certainly is the Louis Sony/Syco wants him to be portrayed as to distance themselves from any involvement from the homophobic mistreatment that has been going on for years.
There are two points from this article that really highlight the whole charade Louis is continuing to be subjected to by his incompetent team. A vengeful group of corporate bosses who are punishing Louis for daring to want to be with his boyfriend and not lie about his orientation. Of course, indirectly Sony/Syco gets the added maniacal bonus of punishing Harry too, by forcing him to look on helplessly while his soulmate of seven years, the man who has become his home is ignored and abused while brutally being compelled to continue the ludicrous farce that is Babygate. No doubt to keep control over the Louis/Harry rumors and extinguish as much of the Larry fandom as possible through gaslighting techniques and cumulative frustration. The Larry fandom has always been Louis and Harry’s power base. Don’t think for a moment that Sony/Sony didn’t arrange to use this “indefinite” hiatus to advance their power by making promises they had no intention of keeping.
Anyone paying attention can see that Sony/Syco has been disparaging Louis’ image at every turn. The other day these buffoons finally updated his website and didn’t even bother to proofread the text. The fandom actually had to step in and point out each one of their shoddy inaccuracies, including something as simple as getting Louis’ age right.
But, here is a classic example from “The Observer” article that illustrates just how Sony/Syco is still very much pulling the strings behind the scenes:
Johannah Deakin was diagnosed with leukemia in early 2016. Tomlinson had been worried his luck would run out; that having been “dealt that amazing hand” to squeak into the last berth in One Direction, he was due some sort of equalising blow. And he gives a bleak little laugh when he recalls where he was when the terrible phone call came. “At Jamie Vardy’s wedding of all places. Talk about your places for something super-traumatic. My mum told me, uh, yeah, that she was definitely terminal.”
Think about it. Sony/Syco really wants us to believe Johannah called Louis on the phone when he was at a wedding which was used to publicly push his fake girlfriend (which his mom certainly knew about like all the other beards) to tell him that her condition was terminal. That’s right. Louis was in the middle of a stunt, at a media covered, high profile event he was obligated to attend to get himself photographed with his beard, when he hears this terrible, potentially life changing news over the phone. Even more incredulous is that Louis was in Cheshire, only ninety some minutes away from Doncaster, but Johannah had to call him at the Vardy wedding instead of asking him to come home to tell him personally. Now, why would this tale be spun? Well, the cover story since her death has always been that Louis’ mom heard that she was terminal sometime in May. And, what does the mention of the Vardy wedding do beautifully. That’s right. It reinforces the official narrative. James Vardy was married on May 25, 2016. What a perfect way of “proving” that the endorsed version of events is trustworthy. Knowing Sony/Syco, however, I would suspect this means that the opposite is true. We will never know, but given their track record, I would bet some serious cash on this one.
The second sample of behind the scenes machinations in this article is the myth being promoted about how Louis was finally feeling confident in 2015, just starting to consider himself good enough, when the group suddenly decides to go on an “indefinite” hiatus. The inference being that he did not want to break up the group and actually argued against the others going their separate ways. Which therefore implies that Louis is not interested in being a solo artist at all. In fact, to this day he doesn’t even know why he’s doing it. Riiiiight. What a great way of explaining why Louis has only put out one song, his team never bothered to promote, in the last 18 months, immersed in baby and bearding stunts, instead of music. He’s been misrepresented at every turn by his so-called management team, but it’s not Sony/Syco’s fault. Because after all, Louis really isn’t even sure if he wants to make music on his own.
And, who does this 1D is autonomous narrative benefit the most? That’s right. Sony/Syco. Many in the fandom know that Babygate is not real. That the whole party boy image that began in April 2015 and ended in the “pregnancy” of some party girl in May is an absolute joke. On June 27, 2015 at a concert in Helsinki, Louis and Liam have a doll thrown up on stage. Louis saying three times, “It’s not real.” Liam then chimes in facetiously, about “Who threw that baby on stage.” Adding about how outrageous it was to do that. Seventeen days later, the headlines hit about how Louis is soon to be a father. At the time, the baby doll tossing was perplexing but in retrospect, Louis was warning the fandom that this stunt was coming. Which means that this so-called hiatus was not something that came out of the clear blue. Louis breaks up with his beard on March 22 (although an announcement is made that the split really happened two weeks before). Zayn leaves the band on March 25. Louis’ party boy image is unveiled immediately in April. And Babygate begins July 14th. By August, public statements are being made that the boys are going to go on an hiatus in 2016. For one year. Then 18 months. Then two years. The story shifting every day. Despite all this sequentially linked stunt driven activity, one can imagine why Sony/Syco wants to persuade the public that the boys planned this entire hiatus on their own. Because closer inspection shows that strategic stunts were coming in rapid fire succession throughout 2015, ending with Louis rolling his eyes in December 2015 when Simon Cowell wanted to let the boys know how wonderful it was to work with them.
My thought is that the boys were promised one thing, but Sony/Syco pulled the carpet out from them and now Louis and Harry are stuck in some contractual Dante Inferno nightmare. It is no coincidence that of all the boys, only Harry and Louis have been contractually tethered to Sony/Syco. As the French say, “The more things change, the more they remain the same.” The Powers That Be would love to persuade everyone that what is happening has nothing to do with Larry. Nothing to do with closeting. Nothing to do with homophobia. The reality, of course, couldn’t be more separated from the truth. It was about Larry in 2012 when Louis and Harry were brutally closeted. And, it’s still about Larry as Louis continues with a baby stunt and the return of his first beard in 2017. Sony/Syco would love to recede into the shadows, but their presence has never been more visible. Or as Harry once tweeted, “There are none so blind as those who do not see.”
On June 27, 2015 at a concert in Helsinki, Louis and Liam have a doll thrown up on stage. Louis saying three times, “It’s not real.” Liam then chimes in facetiously, about “Who threw that baby on stage.” Adding about how outrageous it was to do that. Seventeen days later, the headlines hit about how Louis is soon to be a father. At the time, the baby doll tossing was perplexing but in retrospect, Louis was warning the fandom that this stunt was coming. Which means that this so-called hiatus was not something that came out of the clear blue.
After more thought on the matter, I believe further elaboration on the Helsinki doll tossing incident is worth having. Particularly, after having tried to do a search on the topic today. If someone wanted to read up on Louis’ actions and tried to Google information on the incident, these are the kinds of headlines that would appear. Most stories were uploaded on July 16, 2015. One was dated, July 17, 2015.
a) www.mirror.co.uk › 3am › Celebrity News › Louis Tomlinson July 16, 2015
Watch dad-to-be Louis Tomlinson throw a BABY doll off the stage ...
b) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=No4uaclhbt8 July 16, 2015
'Father-to-be' Louis Tomlinson throws baby doll off stage during One ...
c) www.dailymail.co.uk July 16, 2015
'Father-to-be' Louis Tomlinson throws baby doll off stage during One Direction gig... as new video emerges following Briana Jungwirth 'pregnancy' news
d) Metro.co.uk July 16, 2015
1D’s Louis Tomlinson throws a doll off stage as he continues his silence
e) http://www.lifeandstylemag.com July 16, 2015 at 5:29 pm
What the...: Watch Father-to-Be Louis Tomlinson Throw a Baby Doll Off Stage!
f) www.dailystar.co.uk › Showbiz & TV › Celebs July 17, 2015
Dad-to-be Louis Tomlinson shockingly throws a BABY off stage at One ...
Now let’s look closely to see what these articles might have in common?
1) First off, each one refers to the doll tossing with a splashy headline about Louis becoming a father. Either Father-to-Be or Dad-to-be the unifying caption. Almost like these articles came from one PR machine wanting only one message attached to the doll tossing incident.
2) The second connection is that all the articles are published in UK sources. Known tabloid mouthpieces for Simon Cowell/Syco/Sony. The lone exception being "Life and Style" out of New Jersey. But, when it comes to 1D you can bet there is some association with Sony/Syco lurking in the shadows. And guess what, there is. Bauer Media group and a man by the name of Mark Hardy. Bauer Media Group publishes over 30 magazines and coincidentally "Life and Style" is one of them. In 2013, Bauer Media hired Mark Hardy, a senior strategic director at Sony Music, in the new role of group digital director for its London lifestyle and radio brands. Hardy spearheaded Sony Music’s marketing strategy and prior to that at Sony Music, Hardy was the marketing director for Simon Cowell-owned Syco Entertainment where he “presided over the global launch of the pop group, One Direction.” You really can’t make this stuff up.
3) And the third similarity is that all the articles are dated either July 16, 2015 or July 17, 2015. An odd chronology once one recognizes that this event took place over two weeks before on June 27, 2015. Not exactly a timely headline, is it?
So what do these coincidences mean when all is said and done? Basically, the Helsinki illustration shows just how hard it is for a closeted celebrity to find his voice. To truly make a decision to be out of the closet. Or, to go against corporate image manipulation, even when that manipulation involves an outrageous stunt designed to imprison that celebrity in a Big Fat Lie for years. That’s what corporate bosses want everyone to think, of course. That performers are in the closet because they want to be. A personal decision, if you will. Sort of like the racist myth that African Americans were happy being slaves because they rarely ran away. In other words, when you literally have no options, there is no choice to be had.
As mentioned above, Louis and Liam were undoubtedly communicating with their fans on June 27, 2015 in Helsinki and there was absolutely no association with Louis having just heard that he was about to become a “father”. Rather they were preparing their fans for the shock of Babygate which they knew was being rolled out on July 14. The message they sent was loud and clear: “It’s not real.” Sony/Syco couldn’t have that message out there because it would prove that this whole storyline had been scripted.
As a result, they made sure to rewrite and distort the web-based information available to the public. Consciously, playing a shell game by deceiving the public into thinking that Louis’ actions had to do with his learning about his pending “fatherhood”. If YouTube is searched, however, it is easy to see that not only was the entire Helsinki concert uploaded on July 1, 2015, but a two-minute excerpt of Louis and Liam was also made available on July 9, 2015. In other words, the video was available long before PR stepped in to do clean up. Louis is a clever and a compassionate guy, up against a Goliath with no moral compass. You can see why management fears him. Why they want to destroy his image and breakup his loyal fanbase. By imprisoning Louis, Sony/Syco gets the 2 for 1 benefit of controlling Harry Styles as well. Or, at least, limiting his freedom of action. Like let's say being able to come out. While also cashing in on Harry's celebrity and talent. A win-win, but only for Sony/Syco.
All the more reason to support Louis, I would say. With the added benefit that he is an amazingly talented guy, worthy of not only respect, but admiration.
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