Labor Day at the Park With Jake

If only there had been 31 days in the month of April, this intriguing wayback machine exchange definitely would have been included in Narnia’s Masterpost: 30 Days of Toothy Tile, Grey Goose and the Baby Tiles. The fortuitous content, from a husband and wife Facebook conversation, which occurred August 30, 2013, on the Friday evening before Labor Day weekend. Apparently, the couple involved still live in NY because the husband’s Facebook location pinpoints Park Slope, Brooklyn as his location.

According to his current FB biography page, Dave has three daughters and a wife named, Victoria Parker-Arena, who he facetiously refers to as “livin’ the dream”. By the way, the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn may sound quite familiar to those who are aware of Jake’s backstory because some may recall that in 2006, his sister Maggie and her husband, Peter Sarsgaard, very publicly bought a four-story brownstone there, consisting of seven fireplaces. 

With that in mind, let's see what ol' Dave had to say the night he teased his wife via mobile phone. He's obviously on notifications, chatting away about  "Jake Gyllenhaal", after he's been told that the "movie actor" is at the same playground his spouse and kids are.  Given where Maggie's brownstone is located, the likely venue was the Washington Park/J. J. Bryne Playground, a popular family gathering place, only about one mile away. 

Jake was not only at the playground, but the wife makes sure to tell Dave that he's great with kids (obviously demonstrating through her statement that she has observed Jake with children before). The understandable shared response from both Dave and his fellow Facebook poster "Irina", is that Jake's presence at a children's playground seemed especially strange given that he doesn't have children, right? That's when Victoria confidently explains that Maggie and Peter have kids so the child he is with is his niece.

A quick recovery there, Victoria. But then again, she was more than likely suffering from a well known condition called confirmation bias, or the psychological tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms preexisting beliefs or hypotheses - a cerebral processing flaw that Jake and his people have exploited every chance they can.

Put simply, the public image is that Jake has no children. Therefore when he is seen with a a child, the conclusion must be that he's with Maggie's daughter. People will tortuously tie themselves into a knot to convince themselves of what they have been told, embracing what is accepted as "facts" in the public domain. Or, sometimes what the Urban Dictionary calls, Pretzel Logic: Fallible, twisted or circular reasoning that when dissected is wrong, does not make sense, or does not explain the situation rationally. 

In truth, Irina asked the right question: "Why IS he [Jake] at a children's park if he doesn't have kids?" But, the query is immediately shut down with one word, "Uncle."   

After this context, let's apply a few facts, that just might supply some much needed clarification. Facts which were supplied only four days later. 

Jake made it very clear (crystal clear, in fact) on David Letterman, September 3, 2013 that he was not with his nieces in NY that Friday night. After confirming that he indeed had been in NY, David asks if he had been able to spend time with his nieces over the holiday weekend.  "No," because they were over in London with their mom and dad.

Letterman:  But, you didn't get to spend time with them [his nieces] this holiday?"  

Jake: Ah, no. Because they were actually in London. Ah, my nieces and my sister and my brother-in-law were all in London. While my sister worked...."  

So in light of this new information, let's briefly recap. Jake was seen at a children's playground on Friday night before Labor Day weekend. The observer immediately comments about how good he is with kids. When asked why he was at a children's playground if he has no kids, the shut down discussion response is that he was with his niece. Four days later, Jake tells David that his nieces had been in London with their parents while Maggie was working that summer.  

Being able to use his sibling as cover for his own daughter also helps to explain why Jake made sure to be seen at a children's playground near the home of Maggie and Peter in Park Slope. He figured those who saw him would confirm their bias and conclude that he was with Ramona. Therefore, no harm, no foul if Jake took the risk and was publicly seen with a little girl. 

Unfortunately, as so often happens to those who are living a lie the truth surfaces at the most awkward and unexpected of times. Ramona was across the pond, over 3400 miles away. And, just like with that pirate ship at a playground in London in June 2009, and the Club Lounge sighting in May 2012, Jake was seen with a child he wasn't suppose to have. Rationalization is a funny thing though and human decency is not what it used to be - especially in the entertainment industry. After all, people would never lie about such a sensitive subject like having a kid. No one in their right mind would ever do something so preposterous or outrageous to public sensibilities as to lie about a child. 

Would they, Simon?

Louis' give-me-strength reaction when Simon begins to speak to them after their final performance on the X-Factor, 

December 13, 2015:

                                               

  Same, Louis.  Same.

                      

pic source:    Giphy, Timeout.com, Wikepedia
our playlist:  Itchycoo Park - Small Faces
                      Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills, Nash &
                                Young
                      At the Zoo - Simon and Garfunkel
                      Reelin' in the Years - Steely Dan