Monday, March 19, 2018

Dating Jake Gyllenhaal: Would You Like Your Receipt E-Mailed To You?


Where are the


for our guy Jake and his dating history, over the years? Some faded, torn, shabby and curled at the edges, but all from the same box - that of his publicity team's over the years.


I wish jake gyllenhaal looked at me the way he looked at Barbra Streisand.  (10:12PM 12 Jun 2016)

Did you just *see* Jake Gyllenhaal's fawning, adoring look upon Barbra Streisand? Oh, honey...  (10:11PM 12 Jun 2016)
 
   
via Page Six (June 15 '16):
Gyllenhaal was seen trying to take out more than just food at Bar Pitti this week.
A spy said the “Everest” star was at the Village eatery getting a to-go order when something — or, rather, someone — delicious caught his eye.
“Jake was trying to pick up a girl eating dinner alone at Bar Pitti,” said a source.
The woman was “here on a business trip, eating by herself, pasta and burrata salad. He was picking up an order and sat down with her for half an hour chatting her up.” But, “She told him she had a boyfriend!”


jake gyllenhaal talking about rachel mcadams appreciation tweet (during Southpaw promo)
"She's easy on the eyes so you kinda want to watch her" 

More co-stars:






Oh, I know that feeling!  We'll try to keep an even keel though, because we still have more suspense and intrigue to go!


 Page Six, aka PR Tool to the Stars is the source of the next one.  Say no more!  This was from 2006, long before Everest via the gossip site I Don't Like You In That Way. Those darn, pesky rumors!

Gotta love the part of that blurb which observes:  "Last month, Jake was photographed at a Lakers game basically sitting in Austin Nichols' lap".   LOLLLL!  Skywrite that one, right?

And this was in 2014.  Imagine using the funeral of Philip Seymour Hoffman as a springboard to sell faux matchmaking. Not sure which is more wince-worthy, the springboarding or using Perez Hilton:

via GIPHY


MediaTalkOver (@mediatalkover)
3/8/17, 16:14

Taylor Swift, Jake Gyllenhaal NOT “Dating Again,” Despite Report http://www.postperhour.com/2017/03/08/taylor-swift-jake-gyllenhaal-not-dating-again-despite-report/ https://twitter.com/mediatalkover/status/839600115748913152/photo/1 

And who could forget this one?  The article about this blind actually kind of backfired on PR because so many comments pointed fingers at Jake and Austin. We never even had one single picture of Jake anywhere near Katie Holmes.

Gossip Cop blaming others...

  Gossip Cop again,

 

Guess who? Yep, Gossip Cop,


 
and again with the Gossip Cop. There isn't a personal name in the headline tweet, but we assume just the four-letter word "lady" is good enough for Jake's social media team (can you still hear the echoes of their high-fives in the board room?):


and another pondering...


 

from one papped lunch with Rashida Jones:


 

Hmmm, a "Jessica Lowndes".  Who?


 
Here's a way to get some social media action, from a fan account of former co-star Melanie Laurent:


 
And this oldie but goodie merits a mention because Narnia is trying to see the pictorial evidence that these two were even at the same table. LOL!



[p.s. Elizabeth Debicki was in the movie Everest with Jake]


Camilla Belle:
 
via GIPHY


Emma Stone:

 

Hey, who even needs a name?


 

Remember this one?  Just because they took one single stroll down a NYC sidewalk with her (cropped out) "bf" at her side:


 

Another "no-name" mystery:


 

Again with Dakota, but his team tried so hard to make this one happen (several times):


 

Voted Most Unlikely...


 

Written with a straight face?  (no pun intended)
 

When civilians spread their own rumors after seeing the 2015 Golden Globes:


The ol' "Isabel who?":


 
And while Constellations was playing in New York, more co-star pairing and rumors of post-workout shower smooching:

via GIPHY


Minka Kelly:

 

via GIPHY 

Olivia Wilde...


 

Rachel Bilson...
 

 via GIPHY





And then there have been the One Hit Wonders:
PICTURE EXCLUSIVE: Jake Gyllenhaal gets touchy-feely with mystery brunette as they enjoy a romantic lunch date in London - from the Daily Fail





[Just a side note:  The above "mystery brunette" is named Anna Liban in the Daily Fail article.  If you Google her, this is all she is known for - having lunch with Jake one lone time. BUT, for archival purposes, Anna Liban allegedly is the Director of Communications at Tory Burch (a store of women's clothing, dresses, shoes and handbags per Perez Hilton)]

 The band member - Jenny Lewis:


 

The childhood neighbor, Sophie Buhai:

(This is how far they go back - pretty sure this is her):


The post-Berlinale, blue-haired, 2012 one-stroll mystery gal, later identified as actress Lea Seydoux:

The super model Emily Didonato:

The "infamous" picnic table pic with DiDonato before ne'er being seen or heard from again:

 The Chef, Katja Tausig:


 


And - and - and -

via GIPHY 



A revisit to the dinner with former co-star Rachel McAdams, "incognito" behind a restaurant front window:

 

And another Mystery Gal, who later was identified as the college student Mahsa Jafarian (that's Austin's denim-clad right leg that you see on the other side of Jake) as Mgmnt tried the "civilian" angle:



Never heard from the below mentioned "leggy mystery blond" again after this truck test driving.  Not "Ram Tough" enough, I guess?



Yet another "Mystery Female Pal" in 2014:


Shhhhh, we won't tell the unaware that this was just speed-dial beard Greta Caruso disguised as "mystery female pal". *wink*



Pardon me a moment. This is taking a little longer than first anticipated. We're gonna need another pot of coffee over here!


The SoHo Saturday Mystery Gal Pal stroll:



And then when your seat ticket just happens to put you next to....Zoe Kravitz.


 

and Rihanna


 

Viral "Pippa Middleton" dress train carrying and black/white delicate kisses with Okja co-star Lily Collins:


 


Or, hey - in this day and age, how about just letting the fingers do the talking.  How easy is this?


 



Now, THERE's an idea.

And how about the social media laboratory created?  Remember the totally fictional Instagram/Twitter/Tumblr account @*msbccg who pretended in the late-fall 2015 to be with Jake and carrying his twins? She placed herself at Telluride with him & former bro-in-law Peter Sarsgaard, at the Hollywood Film Awards, movie premieres and the December 2015 Dubai visit just to name a few. Then right before the New Year rang in, she deleted everything and re-created a new "@*msbcmc" account.  These are a couple of pics which allegedly are her with Jake.  The fake makeout in the alley #GoodTimes


 



After about month and a half of that pure nonsense, you're like...
 

 
So there we have it.  A Masterpost of sorts, although not in any certain chronological order.  To define any of these as receipts for a 'date' of any kind of legitimacy or reality, would be a stretch, of course. But when you put them all together in a Power Point Deck, the image becomes...

an endless roll!  lol.  And no doubt, will keep on rollin', rollin', rollin', Rawhiiiide!!  Aaaah, but that sounds like a reaction gif for another time, doesn't it?  ;-)


pic sources:  Daily Fail, Wet Dark & Wild, Just Jared, Perez
                     Hilton, Giphy, the Loop, reaction gifs, imgur, 
                     Independent IE, ONTD, radaronline
our playlist:  Why Not Me - The Judds
                      Ruby, Don't Take Your Love to Town - Kenny Rogers
                      We Gotta Get You a Woman - Todd Rundgren
                      Bad Day - Daniel Powter

 
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7 comments:

prairiegirl said...

I have NO words. None. It's something else when you compile them like that, isn't it? Took awhile, too, making JPEG's and sifting through that big black hole aka PG's email Sent folder. ;-)

Florida Tom and I have just been chilling today. A bleary eyed flight this morning and bumpy plane rides until we got back to FLA.

Monday, March 19, 2018 at 6:04:00 PM CDT
prairiegirl said...

Way to go, Wildcats!! How about that, both KU and K State in the Sweet Sixteen. Sweeeet!

You know, Mgmnt doesn't know when to quit. Haven't figured it out yet, and probably won't entirely, but I don't think Austin was late to the con because of "filming". I think he met up with Jake & the kids somewhere between Toronto and Wilmington.

Or he hasn't been to Toronto at all yet. Likely there by now. But sorry, that whole "Jake said hello to my dog at the LA dog park" nonsense gave that one away. They never should have done that.

Monday, March 19, 2018 at 6:07:00 PM CDT
Florida Tom said...

Sorry PG had to leave Florida a little early Florida Tom is under the weather :-(

Tuesday, March 20, 2018 at 2:55:00 PM CDT
prairiegirl said...

Hey Tom! We have a brief weather respite and they are back to boarding folks. My flight was pushed back but at least things are back to moving. I had a good burger at a place called Goody Goody here near my gate and I have to say it was darn good. Then they had this strip of outlets with tables and chairs and I thought hey, cool. But none of the outlets were working and so some of us were rolling our eyes about that. What in the heck?

But it's a nice airport and I'm in an end seat with a charging station and I'm good to go here.

It was ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL for Austin.

;D

Tuesday, March 20, 2018 at 3:03:00 PM CDT
prairiegirl said...

Nah, Tom and I had a great time MOST of the time. We had a heckuva couple of bumpy flights yesterday, there was a slight mix up at the hotel but it was eventually cleared up, we missed our flight to North Carolina because my volume was not "up" on the music player alarm, and I was so dead tired from the day before and what a time it was. smh

And then the convention kept running behind, we missed out on the One Tree Hill Bingo because we got tired of waiting and we were hungry on Saturday. I don't even remember if they had a Q & A on Saturday or not. But we had a great sandwich that night and then Sunday started out rough with the Con running behind and I was getting ready to corner that little convention emcee when he saved his hide and announced that we were soon going to have the first Q & A.

Because he was THIS CLOSE to feeling the stern eye of PG! LOL, I'm not kidding. I was standing off to the side waiting for him to make his way over to where I was standing and I was going to ask if they were going to get their act together and have at least one Q & A.

But then the clouds parted, they called Austin's autograph and Tom & I were OFF. And from that point, it went off beautifully and it was all worth it.

It was so worth it to see Austin in person and I'll never forget it. This girl told us they didn't allow selfies in the autograph lines so I didn't ask. But now I see other people did it, so I don't know. But he had two hawks standing with him and I was lucky to sneak the couple of pictures that I did.

Since I'm headed home earlier than normal, I'll try to get the post up while I'm off tomorrow. Haven't decided if I'm going back to work on Thurs or not yet.

Wow, everybody is GONE. Where did everyone go around here?

Tuesday, March 20, 2018 at 3:19:00 PM CDT
prairiegirl said...

Isn't that a great song by the Judds? An oldie but a real goldie. One of my favorites. Ruby Don't Take Your Love to Town is also a good one, love that song.

You know, on the flight from KCI to Florida, I had a crying tyke sitting in front of me and he cried almost the entire way. Then on the flight from Fla to NC, there was this little tiny tyke who threw himself on the floor in the middle of the airport while Tom was getting his coffee and he didn't want to get up and the mom just stood at the stroller, watching him and waiting very calmly waiting for him to calm down. And yup, darned if those 2 didn't end up sitting right in front of Tom and I. LOL. We were in the very last row of that flight because we had been on standby and here came that mom and her kid and she was so stressed out. I felt bad for her.

And then there had been a couple in the waiting area with two very small dogs and one of them started barking at a lady and they ended up taking the other two seats right in front of us. LOL. Tom and I both wondered what we had done wrong in our lives......

I don't know how people fly so often. It is very stressful and it's cramped and you try to make the best of it, but still. I don't know how Austin & Jake deal with flying so much. I really don't. You don't get good sleep when you travel and your system gets all kinds of wrecked because your normal daily schedule is disrupted. Tom and I were talking about this and thinking of Austin when he had to come to the Con late on Saturday due to his "filming" schedule.

I'm still not sure he had started filming yet or rather, his social media person was just saying that. *raises eyebrow*



Tuesday, March 20, 2018 at 3:30:00 PM CDT
Florida Tom said...

PG is right. Thecemcee at this event was a piece of work. Paid for autographs and meet ups took priority over the Q and A s. But those autographs and meet ups we're what the girls were there for and where the money was made. I asked PG where these young girls got all the money they had to spend for this event but they were totally excited and into it. It was worth it for me spending time with PG, having some good meals and getting to meet Austin. I am at least grateful I did not get sick until the last day. This was a nasty sinus infection that really knocked me on my butt .the pollen here in Florida has been sky high for weeks and the Clariton and flonase I took was not enough to do the job. Hoping that the antibiotics will kick in soon. I am a little better tonight and actually got out to see Love, Simon. It was a very cute and feel good movie but not in the caliber of Broke back, Moonlight or call me by your Name.

Wednesday, March 21, 2018 at 8:27:00 PM CDT

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