Remember in the 1961 movie The Parent Trap when Susan Evers and Sharon McKendrick were trying to get their parents back together by re-creating Mitch and Maggie's first date? The red and white checkered tablecloths, the Martinelli's menu, veal parmigiana, and violinist, all to try and duplicate that special romantic event? But the evening didn't go well and ended up being a disaster. And even though (scene spoiler!) the couple ends up reconciling, the orchestrated moment showed that it's impossible to recapture what is original and organic. Authenticity cannot be staged.
Fast forward to a particular couple known in their fandom for an uncanny frequency of matching or coordinating their clothes when making public appearances:
Red plaids and stripes? How about black and greys?
even denim,
more greys,
and perhaps the most matchiest, coordinating-est of all,
and all the way into 2018:
And so from someone's boardroom brain mearding spasm, this is what happens when Mgmnt tries to re-create this J2 pattern:
An original from 2006:
Attempted facsimile in 2010:
Not quite working, fellas.
You can't beat the original.
Just like Jake, Austin and the Lakers photos. Management tried to eradicate and replace this iconic, unforgettable evening from February 2011:
First up to bury the Jake/Austin Laker photos Google search by burying them with a hetero friendly alternative was Jake (with beard Reese Witherspoon).
From January 2009.
Then, Austin and Sophia were sent out for a walk on the ship plank aka the Lakers game courtside, in 2011:
[in between, there were moments like this]
We know, Austin, we know...
Sometimes Management will not take the re-creation "on set location", but will merely float a story. Like Jake and Austin being long known for having a fondness for the Post Ranch Inn at Big Sur with its romantic tree house option. So what did they do? They floated a story about Jake and pro-beard Tay Swift staying at the Post Ranch Inn as well. Who needs pics when you have a cooperating media?
Jared and Jensen go jet skiing? So Management sends out Jensen and meard, Misha Collins, on a boat.
The movie industry is not the only place this technique has been used either. One of the early iconic moments in Larry Stylinson history was a much beloved ski trip that Louis and Harry enjoyed back in April 2011. Just a few days after the X-Factor Tour ended after 47 shows on April 9, instead of going their separate ways like the rest of the band, Harry and Louis decided to go on a French ski trip together from April 14-19. For cover, the two lovebirds invited one childhood best friend each, Stan and Johnny. Even though the holiday was portrayed as a lad's outing, a few very couply, smile-wide photos emerged. Fond memories now difficult to locate on the Internet. What a surprise.
These two were so sappy, Louis tweeted this on April 15, just one day into their holiday together:
Just four months later another classic Larry memory was their infamous Leeds Music Festival trip, taken during the last week of August. That particular trip was so special to them that Harry ended up wearing his Leeds bracelet for months afterwards and Louis wore his Leeds Festival T-shirt as well.
Boyfriends with matching wellies and Louis commenting on someone's Facebook: "I'm hot I know, and so is Harry, my boyfriend."
This was the trip where Harry implied he had an "accident". Hey stuff happens when cramped together in a tent, camping out under the stars!
The obligatory fan group shot with female fans
And the happy memory every Larry fan remembers
These two were so sappy, Louis tweeted this on April 15, just one day into their holiday together:
@Harry_Styles Night baby cakes x— Louis Tomlinson (@Louis_Tomlinson) April 15, 2011
Just four months later another classic Larry memory was their infamous Leeds Music Festival trip, taken during the last week of August. That particular trip was so special to them that Harry ended up wearing his Leeds bracelet for months afterwards and Louis wore his Leeds Festival T-shirt as well.
Boyfriends with matching wellies and Louis commenting on someone's Facebook: "I'm hot I know, and so is Harry, my boyfriend."
This was the trip where Harry implied he had an "accident". Hey stuff happens when cramped together in a tent, camping out under the stars!
In an effort to sully the fandom's embrace of Louis and Harry's obvious attachment to one another, Syco/Sony made sure to leak the following photo before One Direction kicked off their American tour. Louis and the Beard in the French Alps, February 2012. Right after Harry's 17th Birthday, of course.
Then what did Cowell and Modest do right after the "Up All Night Tour" ended in July 2012? Well, you can guess. Louis "jetted off" to FRANCE to "romance" his beard. Who cares if there are strict paparazzi laws in France that would prevent such photos from being published. Just bring your own photographer to provide a glimpse into an uber private "organic" moment. No fuss, no muss.
"Loved up" couple leaving Nice, France July 10, 2012
Of course, one ski trip to France was not enough for Syco/Sony. There had to be another ski trip in 2014 too, just in case you missed the one from 2012. That'll show those pesky romantic Larries! Louis only had one romantic ski trip with Harry. Take that. Oops! We mean Louis and Harry never had a romantic ski trip. Larry isn't real. Louis' with Eleanor. See, he's always being photographed with her. Harry's a womanizer. Whew! That was close.
And then there was the notable music festival erasure. How dare Louis and Harry have a wonderful time at Leeds in August, 2011 that the fandom loves to still talk about. That's right. Predictably, Syco/Sony made sure to arrange another trip for Louis and the Beard, exactly one year later. And what would a trip to a music festival be without a "cute" couply photo with wellies, of course. This deliberate attempt to not only replace a precious moment shared between the boyfriends with a female counterpart, an ersatz replication of what "the powers that be" deemed to be acceptable romance, would be hilarious, if it wasn't so transparently homophobic.
V Festival, August 18, 2012
ink via a black-and-white photo
of himself, captioning it, “Coming soon @highsnobiety @atipw @alexdemora
@kappa_kontroll @sophiecasha.”
And let's end with the most desperate Syco/Sony stunt from last year. Even people with only a casual acquaintance with Larry are familiar with their complementary tattoos that they have inked on all over their skins, beginning with the heavy closeting, in 2012/2013. Well, Syco/Sony couldn't let that stand, so once the Beard was forced on Louis again in 2017, Louis was made to get another tattoo on his hand with the letter "E". Something Just Jared couldn't wait to publicize:
"The 25-year-old “Back to You” singer took to Instagram on Monday (July 24) to show off his new tattooIt features a capital letter “E” near his thumb on his left hand, which fans are guessing is a tribute to his girlfriend Eleanor Calder. Louis showcased the
Larry fans are relentless, however, and they couldn't wait to observe that the "E" stood for "Edward", Harry's middle name. LOL! You've got to love the resilience of the Larry Stylinson fandom. And there's no doubt that Syco/Sony despises their loyalty and love for the boys...no matter what.
Because despite all the money Syco/Sony has squandered on fake news and staged photographs, it has always been easy to determine what actually was real and what wasn't. This is what a genuine candid moment between two people in love actually looks like through the unvarnished lens of the camera. An impulsive "No Control" embrace, for all the world to see. #Ain'tRealLoveGrand
September 6, 2012 MTV Awards
The other objective? At the same time, Management teams are going for a major artery in the OTP fans. That undercut which will knock you back and sicken you enough that hey, maybe you will have had enough, especially after enough repetitions. "Who needs this? I don't need this. I need a stress-free fandom"
These kinds of duplications and facsimiles are not for the casual, grocery store tabloid rack fan. They're for the serious fans who see the real and organic; a command performance just for them.
So the next time you catch one of these matinees, recognize the performance for what it is - a poor facsimile. Then, give a nice lil' hand wave and tell them no thanks, the original isn't for sale.
collaboration: PG and M&M
pic sources: Getty, Popsugar, Just Jared, zimbio, purepeople, eBaum, maspwinj2, fluffycastiel, elliebellieforever, bilosan, darlingcap, fangasm, padaleckis, Instagram, Our Daily Bread
our playlist: J for Jules - 'Til Tuesday
If I Could Fly - One Direction
Won't Get Fooled Again - The Who
No comments:
Post a Comment