Sitting in the next booth watching WME/IMG/Endeavor Era Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols having themselves a lil' reminder conversation:
I think that's Austin as George Costanza teaching his other half Jake as Jerry Seinfeld, his wily ways since 2002. Right, buddy? ;-) Like Eddie Haskell leading Wally Cleaver down the wrong path....
Sort of.
So anyway, since last we "saw" our fave twosome Jake and Austin, they were on a collision course of both possibly being in Italy at the same time, crossing streams and all of that. At least, Austin for sure, right? Austin was promoted to be coming to Tricase, Italy for the Salento International Film Festival 2018 where his flick, The Iron Orchard, would greet everyone opening night.
Even as late as August 31, Austin was scheduled.
Google translation:
The edition of this year - number 15 - opens with the
national premiere of the film "The Iron Orchard", screened Saturday,
September 1 at 20.30 at the throne room of Palazzo Gallone. Hassie Harrison and
Austin Nichols, the two main actors, will be present at the evening, in
addition to the producer Camille Chambers. The film is in English with Italian
subtitles. Free admission while seats last. - source
In the throne room of the Palazzo Gallone. The Palazzo Gallone began as a military tower built in the 15th century, complete with a prison and a drawbridge. It was purchased in 1661 by the Prince of Tricase, Stefano Gallone along with a nearby fortress and he added the palace. The prison's walls are said to still show graffiti of captives and the palace held a mill, bakery, stables and warehouse space. Prince Gallone was said to want "as many rooms as there were days in the year" and also a "throne room", which is 79.7' x 38' (24.3 x 11.70 meters), large enough to hold more than a thousand people. It was this throne room where Austin and his beard, Hassle "Hassie" Harrison were to participate in a Q & A along with The Iron Orchard's producer, Camille Chambers.
Exterior portion of the Palazzo Gallone:
What history, what architecture! A real castle with a moat, drawbridge, noble rooms. And free admission to see Austin! You certainly can't beat this opportunity.
And Austin "coming all the way" to Tricase, Italy to promote The Iron Orchard via a Q & A. Quite the opportunity since he was apparently unable to join in this Q & A which was held in Dallas in April of this year:
This above Q & A in Dallas was on April 19. Where was Austin? Wellll, we're not exactly sure. On the weekend of March 19, he was in Wilmington NC. We know this for certain because Florida Tom and I were there; we saw him and shook his hand. On April 22 just three days after the Dallas Q & A, he was allegedly "somewhere in Texas" for Earth Day:
Then, in early May, at the Dallas International Film Festival (allegedly). Here he is posing with the dimbulb beard (courtesy of an enabling, Mgmnt-taken-over twitter):
Even though according to The Iron Orchard's official Instagram page, they show neither one of these
We at Narnia know that Austin fans are waiting for real-time pictures of the DGA card holder in Italy at the Salento Film Festival!!
Agree with this long time, devoted Austin fan. They must have been waiting with abated breath like the rest of us and imagine also being in the same country as her tweet seems to indicate! Imagine that. ;-)
But alas.
September 1 has come and gone and we are sad to say that, well...
we're all left looking yonder for hide or hair of Mr. Nichols at the Salento Film Festival.
We see that allegedly, producer Camille Scioli-Mcnamara was there. But it looks like Austin and Hassle were NO SHOWS.
So whaaa? What happened? Where was the beard? Looks like that same day, she was on a boat somewhere. "Doing the least." No kidding.
And Austin? Perhaps this was him.
And Jake? Well, his movie The Sisters Brothers showing at Venice 2018 had representation:
Because remember of course, Jake is filming, working on Spiderman: Far From Home for which we still have been awaiting an official announcement that he is confirmed. Even today, IMDb is reluctant to commit:
But it looks like Jake will be done filming Far From Home just in time for the Toronto Film Festival, one he just doesn't seem to miss.
The Sisters Brothers will premiere at #TIFF18 in Toronto on Friday, September 7th.#TheSistersBrothers #JakeGyllenhaal pic.twitter.com/GkUjQUapbJ— John Dinh Nguyen (@JohnDinhNguyen1) August 20, 2018
Looks like Wildlife is playing as well. He couldn't make Cannes, perhaps TIFF will see a Jakers double play:
👩🏼| This year at TIFF, Carey Mulligan stars in “Wildlife”, alongside Jake Gyllenhaal. Here’s a snap of her from last year’s festival shot by @satyandpratha. #SatyandPratha #CareyMulligan #People #InStyle #EntertainmentWeekly #Portrait #TIFF #Toronto #PortraitLounge #Style pic.twitter.com/M8hfk0Opz9— arthouseagency (@ARTHOUSE_agency) August 17, 2018
Meanwhile, Jake's social media team has already been warming up things, at-the-ready with the Jake/Riz Ahmed romance with the reliable assistance of former Vulture writer, now with the New York Times, Kyle Buchanan. We've seen Mr. Buchanan before:
Im listening MT @kylebuchanan: If your fantasy is Jake Gyllenhaal showing his chest to Jake Gyllenhaal, youre IN LUCK http://t.co/YZeSkVmhZa— Jarett Wieselman (@JarettSays) March 14, 2014
Preach @kylebuchanan! "The Makers of Demolition Asked Jake Gyllenhaal to Shave His Chest Again" http://t.co/J2Fz70AEhc via @vulture— benjaminsolomon (@benjaminsolomon) September 11, 2015
And now he's back at it, preaching to us that Jake and lil' Riz are two lobsters made for each other. Awww. Maybe Jake's new bromantic interest can help politically inspire him in time for the press junket interviews. ;-)
— Kyle Buchanan (@kylebuchanan) September 2, 2018
Watch it, Baby Tiles. Papa's back at it again, looks like. ;-) Another movie, another set romance with his male co-star or male director, courtesy of his thoughtful agent. Looking forward to perhaps some Jake/Riz hand clutching at Toronto, a la Jake and his director Paul Dano at Cannes! Thanks for the heads up, Mr. Buchanan.
Jake and his politically-inspiring lobster, Riz. #awIn Dewitt's based novel, Hermann (played by Riz Ahmed in the movie, but the description in the novel fits better Jake Gyllenhaal) and Morris (played by Jake, and vice versa) seem that they have something more than friendship for me, so THANK YOU AUDIARD THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO SEE pic.twitter.com/jBgN2ZYYMa— 世界の絶景 (@rizahmed_pics) September 2, 2018
And Big Sis? She is making the trek from "Vermont" to screen her film, The Kindergarten Teacher. It'll be another 3/4 Gyllenhaal Reunion; who could forget this
Looking forward to another round, folks!
In reality, Jake, Austin, their Baby Tiles, Big Sis Maggie and her two daughters, and the matriarch Naomi Foner have already loaded the barge and returned Stateside in preparation for a return to work, with a drop-off of the hubs and collective offspring somewhere between customs and Toronto.
But, we'll be polite and patiently wait for the first narrative. After all, if we can wait for Salento FF pics, we can surely wait for TIFF.
Note: Because Instagram has made it impossible (that I know of) to embed anymore, here are some of the Instagram posts that are in the post above, in order of appearance in the post.
the Iron Orchard promo in Dallas, TX - where was Austin?
Austin "somewhere in Texas", for Earth Day, Apr 22, 2018
Austin and Chumley missing for Salento Film Festival Sep 1, 2018
John C Reilly for The Sisters Brothers, Sept 2018
pic/reference sources: itinerari.galcapodileuca.it, pinterest, 123rf,
gfycat, Portia d'Oriente, IHJ, IMDb
our playlist: Escape - Enrique Iglesias
Wishing and Hoping - Dusty Springfield
Ghosttown - Madonna
6 comments:
I mean, I could've saved myself some time and just put up a gif of two pairs of pants on fire, right? #LiarLiar Both of them. Up one side and then right on down the other.
Why even put out a statement of commitment of attending something if you never have any intention of attending?
When you lie just to lie and don't even care. Doesn't matter that this is on several Italian websites who are willing to show your damned movie. Probably bribed to do it, right, Austin? Everyone doing his work for him; I don't think he was ever at the Dallas Film Festival in May. If he had been, he would've been in the official photo on The Iron Orchard's Instagram page. That was your money shot pic. And he and Hassle weren't in it. They had some other photoshop jobs slapped up, just like the Oceana event.
Austin's just going around for the last several years, saying he's going to be here and there, then just plain doesn't show up. Then he has someone come along after him with the scooper, picking up his mess that he left behind. While he and Jake and the kids scamper off to the next vacation spot.
They're already back in the States. Both of them skipping out on promoting their films and leaving it to other team members to do it. I wonder if that producer was even at Salento; wonder if they even showed The Iron Orchard.
Would not be surprised if they didn't show the movie at all. Who's going to know, right? Certainly not a former social media mutual of mine, who could've seemed to care less. It was all "forgotten" because he was never going to be there.
What a deal. Well, that was kind of entertaining to put together. Until the next one.
An excellent post, PG. I chuckled pretty much all the way through it. It's so obvious that these guys are hiding away with their family. Using manips and stupid Instastories to manufactured their own GPS. This would be all well and good, if Jake and Austin were trustworthy sources. We, of course, know they are not. Photoshop is the new favored propaganda tool of management teams from record labels (yes, I'm talking about you, Harry and Louis) and talent agencies. And, what do these four guys have in common? Two words: the closet.
Now it was never said that Jake would be at Venice. He didn't show up at Cannes either, even though both times he very well could have because both times he's been overseas. He's not filming anymore because I would lay odds he was the one with Austin in Maui, in that "exclusive, private" part of Hawaii, the last frontier so to speak. Hassle wasn't anywhere close.
But to be capable of being there, to help out your co-workers & teammates, but not attend because you have a narrative to keep, secrets to hide? What kind of situation would that be? This is why Jake forgoes many festivals I bet. He would rather be with his kids. When you have as many kids as him & Austin have, there is all kinds of drama going on, all kinds of activities, it's a nuthouse. He doesn't have time, folks.
That's kind of sad to only see John C. Reilly and the director there in Venice, isn't it? Now, Toronto? That's a different story. Toronto is on the approved list. It's convenient to New York City, plus convenient to Michigan, where Austin can stay with the kids and get help from his extended family. Because we know that Austin always can use some "help". LOL! Especially if sis-in-law Maggie isn't around, since she will be hanging with her brother, acting as a female blocker and sort of a sis-beard, if you will.
Speaking of work, not looking forward to returning to work since my co-worker is going to be on vacation all week and I'm not a real fan of doing her job. Parts of it are alright, but along with my job, it gets to all be too much. And I don't get a lunch break and all of that boo-hoo'ing. Ah well.
It's so obvious that these guys are hiding away with their family.
Very much so. I could care less how many pictures they photo shop and how many events they are a no-show at. It really doesn't change much as far as what's really going on.
And the fact that the Powers That Be would rather actively lie and actually create their own "photographic" evidence, instead of just letting their clients disappear is what is ultimately disturbing. No need to wonder why we have a "President" who lies 70% of the time and calls the media the enemy of the people, yet still remains in office. Weaponizing lies, regardless of the cost. We are being told daily that there is such a thing as alternative facts. Told that what you're seeing and what you are reading is not what's happening. Or, that facts are not facts because everyone knows that they "develop" over time. Or, that facts are in the eye of the beholder. Remember truth isn't truth according to Rudy Giuliani. Serial lying is a danger to any society. Whether it's in politics or in the broader culture at large. It creates the notion that facts and truth don't exist. This is why online fandoms are attacked on the daily. They know what they know. They know what they see. Facts cannot be changed. Jake destroyed his fandom and now Sony/Syco is dedicated to destroying the Larrie fandom. This kind of assault on the truth is no different that what Trump has been doing day after day. And, don't think for a second that the consequences are inconsequential. They are, in fact, corrosive and far-reaching.
Sorry we don't have a morning musings this morning. I had intended to get one going, but then I got to watching that replay of the US Open rematch and I'm glad I did because I got a real good look at what Serena Williams is like and how she operates. So it was worth it.
We are working to get a post up this evening though. I have to leave now to go into work. Last week was so rough and I had to leave Friday, still waiting for software to work and others to be able to do their thing, so that I could do my thing so that we could be ready to get to it tomorrow promptly. But now things are in motion and I can go in, do what I need to do, so I'm going to get going, get it done.
That was a rambling kind of comment, wasn't it? No one cares, PG. LOL!!
I'm just trying to offer excuses. LOLL!
Jake looked INCREDIBLE last night!! And we're very proud of both him & Austin, even though you know that things pass and change. But that's okay. It's to be expected.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend.
Go CHIEFS!!
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