In another recent 24-hr span, there were three (3 - count 'em!) Just Jared posts focusing on the return to ground zero that is Mr. Jake Gyllenhaal. In actuality, we could say a 12-hr span. Let's look at them.
1. Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan
The focus of the story is that these two had a baby girl - one of those "oh, by the way" kind of announcements. This is actually one of those "OBTW, around the horn again" kind of promotions because Vanity Fair wrote a story about the secret birth back in September.
In
all photographs of the couple from this summer, she either craftily hid the
bump from bump-hunters, or was photographed from the chest up. What a feat.
Congratulations to the new parents of both a baby and a well-kept secret. -
Vanity Fair September 28, 2018 - VF Sept 28 18
But with the movie Wildlife out and these kids obviously trying to push for Oscar nominations, here comes the story again. And there was Paul Dano on Jimmy Fallon talking fatherhood up all over again. The timing couldn't have been better, you two! And of course, both are currently Q & A'ing in New York City and Los Angeles at an IFC near you. ;-) Lots of photos with Jake and co-star Carey Mulligan, lots of mearding and "find someone who looks at you the way...." you know how the rest of that goes.
Dano claims to have met Jake at Carey Mulligan's wedding.
A wedding which supposedly took place on a farm and it's thought that Marcus' father (because he is a vicar) perhaps performed the ceremony. But don't hold anyone to that! lol. More importantly, this "wedding" took place three days before Austin's birthday, just one of several times Marcus Mumford has helped to provide Jake cover during his husband's birthday week.
And since Jake is involved with Paul and Zoe, that means Big Sis Maggie is grandfathered in as well:
Paul Dano and Maggie Gyllenhaal at the Blaze cast party in Cafe Artois during the Sundance Film Festival in Park City, Utah on Sunday, January 21, 2018 pic.twitter.com/RIoxzVyXYJ— Paul Dano Daily (@pauldanodaily) January 22, 2018
Did you know that Zoe Kazan has appeared in The Deuce?
Impressive first episode of "The Deuce" by George Pelecanos, David Simon with James Franco, Maggie Gyllenhaal Zoe Kazan et al #torrent pic.twitter.com/lH5Kjh26jm— metacode (@metacode) October 26, 2017
Many have learned how to hide babies and create their back-stories, thanks to Jake and Austin, haven't they? ;-)
2. Chris Fischer and Amy Schumer
Where does one start here? One can't be a Jake Gyllenhaal fan/follower without knowing the who, what, when, how and why with Jake and chef Chris Fischer. Chris has been following his own drummer for years, seen regularly with Jake in that pal/buddy capacity and also as a valid (although incorrect) "Is he Grey Goose" suspicion. He and Jake have been longtime childhood pals, no doubt stemming from Gyllenhaal family time spent on Martha's Vineyard, where Chris grew up. Usually in the background when it came to Jake, Chris began to show how far he was willing to go to bat for his close friend however, when he enabled the Jake/Alyssa Miller fauxmance by offering up his restaurant for photo ops in 2013.
And now, he has joined in holy contract with "comedian" Amy Schumer. Although Fischer is supposed to have met his "bride" through her personal assistant, who happens to be his own sister Molly, there's more to this than meets the innocent eye. Chris Fischer's sister Molly (again, Amy's PA) replaced former publicist Carrie Byalick. Byalick has been Jake's publicist. Oh, and here's another gold nugget. According to this Page Six article, Carrie Byalick used to "date" Chris back in 2007! Who knew this? The six degrees to this intertwining is overwhelming, isn't it?
I know, Harry, I know. ;-)
What Jake follower doesn't know about the infamous Malibu "wedding" with the hinky Jake pictures.
Ha! Who could miss the big yellow arrow pointing the way and of course coming from jakebullshittingovereverybody. The Malibu "background" in this one:
Anyway, here's the "hooked up" couple, posted late afternoon on Oct 25, 2018 on Just Jared:
Uh oh, Chris must have been elsewhere, not around for a pic with the gals, was he? ;-)
And the Maggie connection as well:
Maggie Gyllenhaal on #insideamy?! Good call @amyschumer good call. Give that girl the Oscar.— Emily McBroom (@McBroomEmily) May 6, 2016
3. Carey Mulligan and Marcus Mumford
Even though rarely seen together, it was time to roll out their royal wedding attendance and "my husband" insertion. Oh, and the "Her Husband Marcus Mumford" headline. ;-)
Posted on October 25, 2018 early afternoon.
Currently co-starring with Jake in Wildlife, there has been plenty of Carey with Jake, Jake and Paul, Jake Carey Paul & Zoe, Carey Paul & Zoe to go around these last several weeks. Jake and Carey go further back than this author realized - to 2009 it would appear. Carey co-stared in An Education with Peter Sarsgaard, ex-husband, I mean husband of Big Sis Maggie Gyllenhaal. That same year, she had a small part in the movie Brothers, with lil' bro Jake and Natalie Portman. So actually her and Jake date back a bit further than 2009, since filming for Brothers took place December 2007 - early 2008. Remember Jim Sheridan's Boston Herald quote about Jake "being up with the kid" on set? LOL! Well, well, well indeed.
The Maggie Connection:
Maggie Gyllenhaal and Carey Mulligan at an event for The 82nd Annual Academy Awards (2010) pic.twitter.com/1BmGoW7EmT— douleurinquietude (@douleurinquiet) February 24, 2017
In 2011, Carey participated in Jake/Carey rumors as a "perhaps?" pairing (despite her supposed publicized association with Eddie Redmayne) by attending a Three Sisters opening on Broadway with Jake in February 2011
and then supposedly a concert in Nashville, followed by an alleged dinner at City House restaurant.
Later it would be "revealed" that Jake was merely re-introducing Marcus Mumford and his soon-to-be-beard as they had been "pen pals".
Get a load of this backstory:
In a story out of a fairytale, the old friends reunited. Mumford started a tour soon after, but the two kept their romance alive and began a life back in England, where they wed less than a year after they began dating. And it seems like their alleged pen pal past helps them keep their love alive despite the distance they often find between them because of their busy schedules. Mulligan explained that she and Mumford write each other love letters in an interview with The Telegraph. - from "How Did Carey Mulligan & Marcus Mumford Meet? Their Love Story Has a Lot To Do With Letters" in thebustle.com
Alrighty then. I can't say that anyone else has tried the "pen pal" angle though, lol.
~~ ~ ~ ~
So there you have it. Within a 12-hour span on Just Jared, it was like a peek into the Gyllenhaal Connect and Hook-Em Up Stable. Jake and his sister Maggie are intertwined in more ways than one and the Hollywood closet, which has always been a big one due to Jake being in a long-term relationship with Austin, has now become even more noticeable due to their combined Tilt-A-Whirl ride of co-stars, beards, directors and photo-op "friends". It has become a recognizable collision course, showing how tight and co-dependent their lives have become. There are a few additional reasons for this, but we'll save more of that therapist couch story for another time. ;-)
Meanwhile, enjoy watching the ride!
pic sources: Just Jared, Theme Park Review, reaction gifs, giphy,
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our playlist: The Show Must Go On - Three Dog Night
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5 comments:
LOLLLLL!! Good lord, that was a whirlwind. I kept finding out things and M&M and I found ourselves a real little gold nuggito concerning our little Stud/Love Muffins Jake and Austy along the way that we'll be sharing at an opportune time. ;-)
I mean, what in the world. This was just too much with three mere Just Jared posts that appeared in a matter of hours of each other.
Jake and Maggie's worlds have always collided, but now they're like constantly intertwined and kind of matted together. LOL! They have the same professional connections, same friends, Maggie lined up Jake's beard Kirsten Dunst for him, and she has been no doubt, instrumental in keeping her brother in his closet since he wanted to come out way back in 2005-2006.
This really opens up the whole Jake/Marcus Mumford "buddyship" that we now side-eye and is it no wonder why we aren't even seeing Marcus? Where in the heck is he, anyway? Well, looks like he is conveniently supposed to be performing in New Orleans this weekend, but his tour with the band isn't really supposed to start until November. What a prime time for Mgmnt to have been floating the Jake/Marcus bromance, huh?
Guess they can't since Mgmnt needs for Jake and Paul to be Jake's romance, I mean bromance of the month, lol. So many movies, so many dalliances with co-stars and directors for Jake. Sorry, Mumford! You're yesterday's news already.
This paragraph kind of cracked me up. Folks, when you see this kind of vague smudging and fudging, there's something up.
January 2011: Rebound, thy name is…Eddie Redmayne, if rumors are to be believed. As Carey is notoriously tight-lipped about her private life, it remains unclear if these two acting Brits were just friends or if they flirted with some benefits, but the duo was caught smiling up a storm while strolling arm-in-arm in New York. Of course, they also have quite a history of being purely platonic, having served as copresenters at the BAFTAs and even previously been spotted chatting it up at the Costume Institute Gala.
February 2011: Another month, another piece of rumored man-candy. Which may have led to the most fortuitous meet of Carey's life. Just a few weeks after being photographed with Redmayne, the An Education actress was again caught out by paparazzi, this time while hanging out with Jake Gyllenhaal in no fewer than two metropoli. First, the duo attended a performance of Three Sisters in New York (which costarred his sister Maggie Gyllenhaal and brother-in-law Peter Sarsgaard—who also previously costarred with Mulligan) in NYC. Just a few days later, the maybe-couple was spotted again on a night out in Nashville. On the schedule for their suspected date: sharing dinner at the City House restaurant after attending (wait for it) a private performance from Mumford & Sons at a local house party. Awkward... eonline
From The Daily Fail, March 2015:
Jake hung out with his former 'bandmate' Marcus in New York City on Monday, where the two were seen chatting away together as they strolled around Tribeca.
The pair had plenty to talk about, with Marcus no doubt still grateful to the actor for re-introducing him to his wife, actress Carey Mulligan.
Although Mulligan and Mumford were childhood pen pals, they had lost contact until they reportedly reconnected through Gyllenhaal, who starred opposite the English actress in the 2009 film Brothers.
That's where it mentions that Jake was the one to "re-introduce" them. smh.
lol, in that same article, here's the Daily Fail trying to explain how Jake could have just "on a whim" joined that whole Mumford tour without his contact lenses.
Although initially reluctant because he didn't have any contact lenses with him, Gyllenhaal eventually relented and toured with the band for two weeks, 'playing' the trumpet and having his mom FedEx him extra contacts.
What about clean underwear, Naomi? ;-)
This is where Management has screwed up trying to rewrite some of Jake's history because there are some of us still around who can say "Huh?" This Chris Fischer/Amy Schumer thing is such a sham, it isn't funny. I am wondering which of the two really wants the child, is it Chris? Is the baby really going to be his? Or is it going to be Amy's?
And now trying to say that Chris Fischer used to date Jake's publicist Carrie? When was that supposed to be known? I don't ever remember hearing that. LOL.
Like Harry says, "What is this?" Jake's people are just making crap up left and right.
I don't think Paul Dano and Zoe Kazan are a real couple either - their back story is hinky as well. And considering that Dano is far too willing to play Jake's lobster now and was back at Cannes last year, it shows that 1) he has no morals either by trying to erase Austin and the kids and 2) that he has something to hide as well. Because who else would think this was helping a friend except someone who was in the closet as well. It does look like Zoe and Carey go pretty far back together. There are many, many pictures of them and they look quite close. Kind of interesting..........
It's too bad. It's too bad that Jake and his team have to take this angle with every single movie he does now. It's almost like they shop for a new meard rather than a beard with every new film that he does now. LOL.
Gorgeous day today. Beautiful. I'm excited about dinner with a group of friends tonight at one of my favorite places - the Blue Moose!!! I love the Blue Moose. Should be a hilarious time. And will be interesting to see how the next World Series game goes. No way I could stay up for last night's. I left at the 11th. That's just crazy.
Oh my gosh, totally forgot Austin is in Atlanta today - hope to have pics tomorrow at least.
Peace to all on this otherwise distressing day due to more senseless violence and hate crimes.
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