Sunday, March 3, 2019

Call Us Shallow, But Somehow It Still Comes Back to Jake and Austin



The whole "Bradley Cooper/Lady Gaga Exploding Bonfire of Chemistry at the Oscars" performance caught Narnia Dispatch's attention, but maybe not for the same reason it did for many other viewers.  

And the red flags were caused in part by the immediate, OTT endorsing reactions from the media:



Love that "straight" insertion, Mr. Mack.    This gal is from Entertainment Weekly:


 

Just wow at this one.


 
When you see Dan "Fig" Wootton and the Sun involved...

 


 

Yep, looks like the media was doing their part to help sell.  And who can blame unaware viewers after that "move" by Lady Gaga.  Let's see that again, Gaga.  This takes the cake.

And then you know what they did?  They did this to everyone:




The eye roll at you, the viewers.  Didn't you know this is on you?


 

Translation:  What's the matter with you folks?


 
Nothing to see here!  We fooled you!  So stop shipping us because we can't be bothered with either of us going through another fauxmance.  Besides, Bradley's already got a contract going on at the moment.  ;-)

Interestingly enough, this little announcement was released after the much ballyhooed performance.  


Ohhhhhh.  Newfound footage to bring folks back to the theaters. Now that is some great fortune, how wonderful for the financial backers and actors.  The timing!

















Well played, Bradley.  Well played.

Now, the only issue for a few of us is, our memories go back a bit further than six months.  LOL!  And we here at Narnia were spotting something amiss with the "are they or aren't they" floaties that were bobbing like nobody's business in the internet and social media waters.

First of all, there's that matter of Bradley's "dating" history which includes:  

Jennifer Lopez - Fall 2011 (following her separation from Marc A.)
Zoe Saldana - end of 2011 (while filming together)
Olivia Wilde - 2011 (busy boy in 2011, wasn't he?)
Denise Richards - "rumors"
Cameron Diaz - "allegedly" 2007-2008
Renee Zellweger - (while filming 2009 thru supposedly 2011)
Jennifer Esposito (a four month marriage)

 That's quite the list of beards, I mean "conquests"!  Plus, the blinds, the chatter and some of those telling videos and pictures; but, you have to dig back, just like one does with Jake and Austin.  Waaaaay back. Because while folks aren't looking, PR teams go back and scrub with the Magic Erasers.  There's no denying that Bradley has some very pleasant photos out there with the likes of,

 Leo DiCaprio:




   















Ryan Reynolds:


when it was rumored they were going to star in an action flick together, Ry-Ry and Bradley were seen in Vancouver with professional beard Renee Zellweger along for the outing. Look what a pup-face Ryan was then:

Gerard Butler at the 2013 Wimbledon:











(The next year 2014 at Wimbledon was a bit more low-key)

Dax Shepard:
























Ben Affleck:


 
He just lights up, doesn't he?  ;-)  And then the Victor Garber blind vice and Nikki Finke's not-so-subtle shoutout in her column:


"Bradley Cooper and Kate Hudson presenting. Someone give Kate a cookie: I know the mags said she was fat 3 years ago but, jeez, she’s now wasting away to nothing. As for Bradley Cooper, he and Ryan Seacrest really need to redo their closets."   - wink


Victor Garber:



 From 2015 at Sardi's:



Then there is one past public relationship of Bradley Cooper's that really stands out, and that was the four-month "marriage" between him and Jennifer Esposito way back in 2006.  This look-back, in fact, comes about because of that Oscars "chemistry bonfire" last Sunday.  Jennifer Esposito made headlines because of her Instagram comment on David Spade's enabling post:



Let's take a little stroll down memory lane shall we? True to form,
Jennifer Esposito performed the all-too-common "denial" at first of a romance between her and Cooper in 2006, but soon an engagement was announced by October.  An alleged marriage ceremony took place in the south of France in December, and four months later, Pffft!  They were done-zo, citing irreconcilable differences. Let's apply the dreaded lightning bolt - the official symbol of a couple break up.

LOL!!! Oh my dog. ;D


While the couple enjoyed their time together, their marriage would soon take a turn just four months later when Esposito filed for divorce citing irreconcilable differences.

A rep for the actress said in a statement at the time, “Jennifer Esposito has filed for divorce. She asks that you respect her privacy at this time.”

Cooper’s rep said in a separate statement, “The divorce was mutual and they’ve been separated for quite a while.” - People.com
 
LOL! "Separated for quite a while." They were only supposed to have been married four months!  So, a "low-key" wedding ceremony, over in the south of France, together for less than four months and that's all she wrote. Who are we to doubt the veracity of this love story? *snark*


Esposito has since long-moved on, but there's another fascinating gold nuggito to this story.  Esposito has a link to one of our OTP halves, and ultimately the OTP as a whole.  

 Speaking of links, we're going to provide links for two pictures showing this.  Because these pictures now seem to only be found here at this "Ability Films Inc" and they have their huge watermark splattered right across the center of the pics. We don't want to infringe on their clearly warning copyright finger-shaking at the bottom of the page.  But it's a safe site and we don't mind referencing everyone:

 Jennifer Esposito and Austin Nichols outside of Madeos Jul 19 2007

 Jennifer Esposito and Austin Nichols outside of Madeos Pic 2

 For one thing, the photos are rather mislabeled. They're not "eating" at Madeos.  Unless they have sidewalk seating!  lol

 So this was July 2007 which would have been the summer right after the Bradley Cooper "marriage" that, in hindsight, now has us wondering if those nuptials even took place.  Thanks to our timeline loving M&M, let's look at some dates.  It was during this summer of 2007 that Austin was busy working on the HBO series, John From Cincinnati.

 • The pilot for JFC was filmed in September 2006 around areas of Imperial Beach, California, a community which was quite excited about being used for the location shooting. If the series were to be picked up, it was slated to be aired in late 2007.  By November 2006, twelve (12) episodes had been ordered. 

 • JFC aired on HBO from June 10, 2007 - August 12, 2007

• July 19, 2007 - Austin is photo'd on a dinner "date" with Jennifer Esposito at pap-friendly Madeo's Restaurant in Beverly Hills, CA.

 • July 20, 2007 - Austin appears on Jimmy Kimmel to promote the show John From Cincinnati.
                                                                           source:  Austinnicholsfan

 • But on August 16, John From Cincinnati was unexpectedly cancelled by HBO.

• Eight days later, on August 24, Austin was arrested for DUI in Jackson, Michigan

• Except for those two obviously planned photos to announce their new relationship, Austin and Esposito were never seen together again.

 Now what was Jake doing during this time?  The famous Lakers Photos took place in February 2006 and for the remainder of that year, Jake was bouncing between New York City and Los Angeles, eating out, shopping, etc. One photo op with Natalie Portman was squeezed into the midst.  In 2007, there were more photos with friends, multiple bike rides with "BFF" Austin Nichols.  And the medical visits began.  

 In April of 2007, Jake visited Austin in the famous John From Cincinnati set visit featured in our Masterpost "Don't Come a Rockin...Yet".  On April 8, Easter Sunday, Jake was seen holding a child age-appropriate chocolate bunny as he stepped out with the G-family.
  


 More photos eating out, jogging, walking dogs, the Borders sighting, out with "family and friends".  In November 2006, Jake was photo'd with future beard, Reese Witherspoon on the set of Rendition in LA to lay the groundwork for their spring "are they or aren't they?" rumored fling. The picture had to be floated out early because Jake and Reese did not film one scene together:

Reese_1

Nov 15, 2006 11:06:54 PM | Celebrity Moms


Seed planting.  By July 2007, they were being "spotted" together,  dodging cameras and playing Greta Garbo.  Austin's television series, which was in trouble already, was cancelled.  And the rest is as they say is history.  Jake and Witherspoon went on to beard/merkin for one another until late 2009. Officially, "breaking up" on December 14, 2009.

 Looking at Jake's on-his-own-out-and-abouts (or was he just biding his time for something to happen) throughout 2006 and part of 2007 while Austin was working on JFC and lining up a beard, makes us at Narnia think that the original plan was for Austin to be the franchise series operator with John From Cincinnati, and Jennifer Esposito was being lined up to be his official beard.  The fact that their "relationship" was done-zo after the show cancellation reflects that Esposito was most definitely an experienced beard after her short stint with Bradley Cooper in 2006.  One can see why Jake's people thought that she would be a perfect match for Austin's closet. Talk about speed dating. LOL!

 Interestingly and fortunately as well, note that John From Cincinnati was filmed in Imperial Beach, CA, in the southern most part of California, but convenient to Santa Monica/Los Angeles/Venice, the frequent home turf of both Austin and Jake.  It would have been the perfect situation for a young family, geographically, and job-wise.


Baby Tile was born in October 2007.  The John From Cincinnati trailer visit and the chocolate bunny picture in early April would have occurred at the end of the first trimester, a time that all young couples love to celebrate and come out with the stork announcement of "We're expecting!" to friends and family.  
But life doesn't always work out according to the best laid plans, does it?  Jake and Austin's life together has had several roadblocks thrown in their path, including Reese Witherspoon bailing on her contract with Jake and picking up with Jim Toth only three months later, leaving Jake suddenly without a beard and then taking up with Taylor Swift  in October 2010 to compensate.  We all know how fast that fakery came and went. I believe their fauxmance lasted a total of 48 days. Looks like Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Esposito beat them. But, Austin and Jennifer's "one night stand" on the sidewalk wins the grand prize in the end. Got to love it!
collaboration:  PG and M&M
pic sources:  Getty Images, abilityfilminc, incaustinnicholsfan, Celebitchy, IHJ, mrclarkartesys, Parade, popsugar, hellomagazine,
                     zimbio, thedressdown, People.com, vulture, 
                     gossiponthis
our playlist:  Everything Changes - Kathy Tricolli
                     Remember Me - Diana Ross
                     If I Could Turn Back Time - Cher
                     You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol
   
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Tuesday, February 26, 2019

A Little Tale of Jake & Austin: The Sacrifices of a Parent




Good evening, folks!  Say hi to Chewy ^^ up there.  He's going to join us for this Narnia post and look at him, he's already contemplating and we haven't even started yet!  C'mon Chewy.  You're going to love what we have tonight. Soak it in.

• So after the If There Is, I Haven't Found It Yet "Jake caught in L.A." debacles and the "Sunday in the Park With George " Jake caught in upstate western NY (coffee) and Michigan (tacos) debacles, this time around the fellas have had to lie even more low than usual. But last week, it was the lack of activity which revealed as much than if Jake had been sighted purchasing Happy Meals at a Michigan McDonald's.  Because Jakers' calendar for February and March has been solidly taken care of. He has double shows on weekends and his only 'off' days are Mondays.  Such a tight schedule wouldn't seem to allow for cross-country travel for quick nookie or catching up on Baby Tile woes.  Skype has probably been burning up the cyber waves. ;-)

So what about Austin during these two months that Jake's show Sealife / A Wall has been going on in New York City? Well, except for some Instagram Stories showing Austin holding Chumley's little spiffy dog in various venues, he's been out of sight. 

Remember The Iron Orchard,  the Texas oil flick where Austin allegedly met his beard, Chumley, (aka Hassle "Hassie" Harrison) and was filmed last summer?  On Wed, Feb 20, a movie premiere was held in Ft Worth, followed by several other held Q & A's and finally, Texan theater openings beginning on Friday, Feb 22.  In this photo deck from the film's Instagram account, you can see a nice stage shot from the Ft Worth premiere. But looking through this photo deck below (just click on the small arrow on the right), it looks like Austin is missing!

 

Interesting, isn't it? Austin was nowhere to be seen last week, nor was Chumley.  Even though it doesn't look like he was working on another project, a commitment which could've been deemed valid enough reason for being unable to attend any of the Q & A's or premiere celebrating the theater openings.  What an opportunity to "come home" to Texas and help promo his film, wouldn't it seem?   Instead, it was

 

but for a couple of promo tweets which had all of the originality of an intern's work. Here was one of them:


 

And where was Big Sis during this time?  Well, she was nowhere to be seen, EXCEPT for this story which dominated her social media search:


 

What timing!

Now, on Monday morning 2/25, a new video of Austin appeared on Twitter via a television news station in......Los Angeles - KTLA.  Hmmm...


Which, according to Narnia's way of thinking.....means Austin hasn't been anywhere near LA.  LOL!  Because if he has time to appear on a news station in LA to plug his movie, why didn't he have time to attend some of the Q & A's last week in Texas?















Now this wasn't the first time this being promo MIA has occurred for Austin.  Back in September 2013, Jake was in the midst of heavy promotion for Prisoners.  Jake was everywhere, bromancing it up with Hugh Jackman, accepting bouquets of flowers and getting his derrière fondled during premiere photos. ;-)   Look what I found in my photo folders!  Guess where it was?  In the "Mearding" folder. #facepalm  Check out ol' Hugh here getting frisky. This was on September 6, 2013 at the Toronto Film Festival premiere of Prisoners.

Also on Friday, September 6, Austin's movie Parkland was premiering at the Toronto Film Festival.  

Wow, an opportunity for Austin to go to the Toronto Film Festival and hang with billiards pal Zac Efron and other co-stars Paul Giamatti, Billy Bob Thornton, Colin Hanks, and others.  These kinds of opportunities don't just happen every day for Austin.  

But alas.....no Austin at TIFF that year.  Looks like he must have drawn the short straw and needed to stay home with the kiddos.

Austin may wear the big pants in the Jaustin household, but when it comes to the career side of things, looks like Jake just may "trump" Austin. 

These are two large miscues by Jake and Austin's people, or is it rather that this is a decision made by the couple in the interest of their children?  Do they try to have at least one of them with the kids if possible, save for any romantic we-time trips for two? 

It's hard to say.  With Jake and Austin though, it's not always what or who or when we see them, it can be when we don't see them that is the most telling.

Maybe next time, Big Guy.  


pic sources:  crasstalk, austinnicholsfan, giphy, IHJ
our playlist:  I Live For Your Love - Natalie Cole
                     Miss You Like Crazy - Natalie Cole
                     This Will Be (An Everlasting Love) - Natalie Cole
                     

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