When this picture first appeared online yesterday, June 26, from an Instagram account that has now gone to that great Social Media Graveyard in the sky, we at Narnia smirked a bit because according to our set watches, it was indeed time for the 4th of July pregame show to start. And here he is, our guy Jake with some blond dude whose account name was @geregaco.
However, taking a closer look tonight, we have been alarmed to see that it looks like Mr. Jake has had some kind of Gyllen-calamity.
I don't know, but that looks like a swollen left cheek and dark upper left eyelid to me???? What happened, Jake?! Did the Wisdom Tooth Fairy come barreling through the door? Did Papa have an encounter with one of the kiddo's drones? Unique combo of lavender pencil and Skoal for that balanced image? Lost a ping pong match with a yellow jacket? Did a pinata stick miss its target? Boy! Nonetheless, this "eye-catching" photo has been followed up today with this dandy gem:
Which seems like a sort-of, kind-of facsimile thereof, and in fact reminds me of this lovely botched, photo shopped job ("waist" not, want not after all!):
Not that Narnia is going to super analyze all of Mgmnt's "offerings", but we felt the added cosmetic inconsistencies were worth making note of. If indeed these two Almeria pictures in the same restaurant were to have taken place the same day, it would be interesting to know why Jake needed to have a change of pants? ;-)
No doubt we will be in for more black snakes and sparklers before this 4th of July 2017 is over. Yea for that! :-)
pic sources: IHJ, Instagram, giphy our playlist: Kung Fu Fighting - Carl Douglas Firework - Katy Perry Eye of the Tiger - Survivor Fight Fire with Fire Kansas Brand New Key - Melanie
If only there had been 31 days in the month of April, this
intriguing wayback machine exchange definitely would have been included in
Narnia’s Masterpost:
30 Days of Toothy Tile, Grey Goose and the Baby Tiles. The fortuitous content, from a
husband and wife Facebook conversation, which occurred August 30, 2013, on the
Friday evening before Labor Day weekend. Apparently, the couple involved still
live in NY because the husband’s Facebook location pinpoints Park Slope, Brooklyn as his location.
According to his current FB biography page, Dave has three daughters and a wife named, Victoria Parker-Arena, who he facetiously refers to as “livin’ the dream”. By the way, the Park Slope neighborhood of Brooklyn may sound quite familiar to those who are aware of Jake’s backstory because some may recall that in 2006, his sister Maggie and her husband, Peter Sarsgaard,
very publicly bought a four-story brownstone there, consisting of seven fireplaces.
With that in mind, let's see what ol' Dave had to say the night he teased his wife via mobile phone. He's obviously on notifications, chatting away about "Jake Gyllenhaal", after he's been told that the "movie actor" is at the same playground his spouse and kids are. Given where Maggie's brownstone is located, the likely venue was the Washington Park/J. J. Bryne Playground, a popular family gathering place, only about one mile away.
Jake was not only at the playground, but the wife makes sure to tell Dave that he's great with kids (obviously demonstrating through her statement that she has observed Jake with children before). The understandable shared response from both Dave and his fellow Facebook poster "Irina", is that Jake's presence at a children's playground seemed especially strange given that he doesn't have children, right? That's when Victoria confidently explains that Maggie and Peter have kids so the child he is with is his niece.
A quick recovery there, Victoria. But then again, she was more than likely suffering from a well known condition called confirmation bias, or the psychological tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and
recall information in a way that confirms preexisting beliefs or
hypotheses - a cerebral processing flaw that Jake and his people have exploited every chance they can.
Put simply, the public image is that
Jake has no children. Therefore when he is seen with a a child, the conclusion must
be that he's with Maggie's daughter. People will tortuously tie themselves into a knot to convince
themselves of what they have been told, embracing what is accepted as "facts" in the public domain. Or, sometimes what the Urban Dictionary
calls, Pretzel Logic: Fallible, twisted or circular reasoning that when
dissected is wrong, does not make sense, or does not explain the
situation rationally.
In truth, Irina asked the right question: "Why IS he [Jake]
at a children's park if he doesn't have kids?" But, the query is
immediately shut down with one word, "Uncle."
After this context, let's apply a few facts, that just might supply some much needed clarification. Facts which were supplied only four days later.
Jake made it very clear (crystal clear, in fact) on David Letterman, September 3, 2013 that he was not with his nieces in NY that Friday night. After confirming that he indeed had been in NY, David asks if he had been able to spend time with his nieces over the holiday weekend. "No," because they were over in London with their mom and dad. Letterman: But, you didn't get to spend time with them [his nieces] this holiday?"
Jake: Ah, no. Because they were actually in London. Ah, my nieces and my sister and my brother-in-law were all in London. While my sister worked...."
So in light of this new information, let's briefly recap. Jake was seen at a children's playground on Friday night before Labor Day weekend. The observer immediately comments about how good he is with kids. When asked why he was at a children's playground if he has no kids, the shut down discussion response is that he was with his niece. Four days later, Jake tells David that his nieces had been in London with their parents while Maggie was working that summer.
Being able to use his sibling as cover for his own daughter also helps to explain why Jake made sure to be seen at a children's playground near the home of Maggie and Peter in Park Slope. He figured those who saw him would confirm their bias and conclude that he was with Ramona. Therefore, no harm, no foul if Jake took the risk and was publicly seen with a little girl.
Unfortunately, as so often happens to those who are living a lie the truth surfaces at the most awkward and unexpected of times. Ramona was across the pond, over 3400 miles away. And, just like with that pirate ship at a playground in London in June 2009, and the Club Lounge sighting in May 2012, Jake was seen with a child he wasn't suppose to have. Rationalization is a funny thing though and human decency is not what it used to be - especially in the entertainment industry. After all, people would never lie about such a sensitive subject like having a kid. No one in their right mind would ever do something so preposterous or outrageous to public sensibilities as to lie about a child.
Would they, Simon?
Louis' give-me-strength reaction when Simon begins to speak to them after their final performance on the X-Factor,
December 13, 2015:
Same, Louis. Same.
pic source: Giphy, Timeout.com, Wikepedia our playlist:Itchycoo Park - Small Faces Teach Your Children - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young At the Zoo - Simon and Garfunkel Reelin' in the Years - Steely Dan
Author's Note: This post thoughts and intent of self-harm as part of the subject's life story.
A big thank you goes to Florida Tom who earlier in the week had mentioned to me that there was a great story to check out about a former NFL player coming out. He added that the retired professional athlete was also a former Kansas City Chief as well as a New England Patriot.
As it turns out, I did not recognize his name, but I sure will remember it now. The player's name is Ryan O'Callaghan, an offensive tackle who is no longer playing due to career-ending injuries. I am convinced that with this week's Outsports profile, his continuing impact will now extend far beyond any headline-producing block he may have had while still playing the game. With honesty and compassion, he lets down his guard and bravely speaks out about being gay within his profession, one that is extremely repressive and stifling of those individuals who may be gay or bisexual (please see Michael Sam). This article Former Patriots and Chiefs Tackle Ryan O'Callaghan Comes Out as Gay by Outsports.com is an excellent read and it does not matter if you aren't familiar with his career or you're an NBA fan or soccer, a Larrie fan, a J2 fan, a cop with Smallsville USA's finest, a bank teller, a $900k/salary per year CEO, a minister, a nurse, a Quik Trip clerk......doesn't matter. Ryan's story is fundamentally about his personal and professional struggle which very easily could have resulted in near tragedy. But, his torments were made so much worse because of society's rejection and intolerance of the man he was born to be. Because he knew he was gay as far back as junior high school, this story covers Ryan's heart-wrenching journey before he became an NFL player. He shares his deepest emotions and insecurities; this is what touches you. This is real LIFE, not a publicist's carefully crafted talking points. I'm going to mention just a few excerpts, but please do yourself a favor and take some time to read this story. The issues raised and the experiences Ryan chronicles are contemporary in every way.
"If you’re a gay kid and you hear someone you love say ‘fag,’ it makes
you think that in their eyes you’re just a fag too," O’Callaghan told
Outsports on a recent visit to Los Angeles for his first-ever Pride
celebration. "That got to me a lot."
O’Callaghan decided early on that he would hide behind football. The
sport would be his "beard," and the jersey on his back would throw off
the scent and keep his secret hidden for over a dozen years
Every media image O’Callaghan had seen of gay men had featured chiseled
features and six-packs, so he let his appearance go, becoming a "sloppy
straight guy." He started chewing tobacco because, he figured, you don’t
see many gay men in TV and film doing that.
And finally,
"People need to understand that we are everywhere. We’re your sons, your
daughters, your teammates, your neighbors. And honestly, even some of
your husbands and wives. You just don’t know it yet."
"As long as there are people killing themselves because they are gay,
there is a reason for people like me to share my story and try to help."
collaborated: Prairie Girl and Methodical Muser pic source: Rolling Stone our playlist: Elton's Song - Elton John Born This Way - Lady Gaga I'm Coming Out - Diana Ross A Little Respect - Erasure
