For anyone who has participated in an online fandom focused on a closeted celeb or couple, certain patterns emerge rather quickly. Besides the inevitable mental abuse of gaslighting (using psychological means to manipulate others by having them question their own sanity), there are the 24/7 trolls who harass, ridicule and try to marginalize those who are not willing to toe the party line of management.
Besides the constant queerbaiting that aggressively pushes an implied homophobia (because according to The Powers That Be no one willingly closets themselves), there's also a tried and true technique of divide and conquer to partition and pit one group against another (often believers [hats] against hets) to hopefully use peer pressure to crack down on what is perceived as subversive talk. In actuality this "troublemaking" talk is really nothing more than non-obliging people expressing an independent opinion about what is being seen and heard and refusing to be silenced.
Probably my favorite closeting technique and one that Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols' team use on a regular ad nauseum basis is that of photoshopping while also recruiting other performers, media outlets and personalities into shipping the "stories" they are trying to sell the public. Most recently, Prairie Girl and I have written about the Women's March on Washington and the myriad of photographic peculiarities associated with the day regarding the extent of Jake's "participation." But, as is often the case with paranoid bullies, management simply can't allow any dissent. They must have the last word, particularly when others' observations are dangerously close to uncovering the truth. Subsequently, a few more hilarious attempts happened since last Saturday's coverage that are most entertaining.
Of all the stunts that took place last week, the one that stood out the most involved CNN and actually kicked off the day's narrative. As a quick refresher, the push back efforts on the part of Jake's team all started when Narnia Dispatches had the audacity to question why Jake was the only celebrity the network announced to be at the DC march, but who didn't want to be seen or interviewed on camera. Like clockwork, the on the air pronouncement was quickly followed up with the necessary social media documentation:
— EB (@adartproducer) January 21, 2017
Not surprisingly, Jake's people were concerned about Narnia's insights about why Jake was the only celebrity singled out by the network so just three days later on Tuesday, January 24th, a highly cropped cheek to cheek photo emerged out of nowhere of Jake and CNN's Van Jones:
When no one took the bait, another hilarious second photo of Jake and Van Jones appeared. No doubt the strategic intention was to stop any further questioning on this topic by supplying a another bit of visual evidence that Jake had indeed interacted with CNN that day. The familiar "look people, here's another photo of Jake with a high profile liberal commentator from the network, just like we said" response. The only problem was that the second fauxtographic image provided was even more bizarre than the first one:
— Jake Gyllenhaal BR (@gyllenhaalbr) January 25, 2017
When no one took the bait, another hilarious second photo of Jake and Van Jones appeared. No doubt the strategic intention was to stop any further questioning on this topic by supplying a another bit of visual evidence that Jake had indeed interacted with CNN that day. The familiar "look people, here's another photo of Jake with a high profile liberal commentator from the network, just like we said" response. The only problem was that the second fauxtographic image provided was even more bizarre than the first one:
Looking closely, the most hysterical aspect of this image are Jake's legs. Get a load of how his knees are practically on the ground, his lower limbs actually blurred to hopefully hide the distorted body alignment. What's even funnier is someone must have panicked because by Friday the account that had posted the best buds together at the DC march photo (daniebb3) deleted it from her Instagram. Oh! What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.
After surviving the mire and muck of that nonsense, let's cleanse the palate a bit by reminding ourselves of what reality actually looks like. No smoke or mirrors needed here because this is the kind of simple storytelling that needs no rewrites. No edits.
Tenderness. Adoration. Lust. Love.
Whew! Looks like there is nothing wrong with our eyes. Or the ability to see what's real. No photoshopping necessary.
Our Playlist: For What It's Worth - Buffalo Springfield
Welcome to the Show - Adam Lambert, featuring Laleh
9 comments:
I also want to make the point that Van Jones might be willing to cooperate with Jake and his people given his own uber "private" ways when it comes to his own personal life. If you know what I mean?
Jana Carter and Van Jones
It is kind of hinky.
Not much is known about Jana Carter. She does not not have an Instagram where she posts selfies of herself with her husband and family. Instead, on Twitter, she shares positive posts praising her husband — which proves she is his number one fan. According to a profile about Jones in The New Yorker, Carter is "an employment lawyer."
Jones revealed a little more information about his wife to Oakland Magazine in 2009. "She used to run marathons and climb mountains," he said. "She is a power tools kind of girl. [She's] very independent, which makes it a little easier for her. She's not sitting there, waiting for me to fix the plumbing. She's very resourceful."
The children Jones is speaking about in his very touching comments are his two young sons, who are around ages 8 and 12 years old, respectively. "I've got an older boy that is an incredible athlete; the kid can play any sport imaginable," Jones told CNN in 2013. "And I've got another son who is very introverted, he seems to be an artist like me."
Carter doesn't appear to enjoy the spotlight. Her Twitter bio mentions nothing about her husband or her career. An old photo from 2008 on Jones' Facebook account shows a glimpse of Carter and their two children — but the photo is eight years old.
Is Van Jones married
Another funny "coincidence" is how this tweet appeared out of nowhere earlier in January. No source. Just quotation marks to "prove" Jake said this about Van Jones. When, where, for what reason no one has any idea. But, since quote marks were put around the sentiment it must be true that Jake said those words. *rolls eyes*
So, in other words, PR was trying to supply evidence that Jake and Van were tight in case they needed to bring him in to help support the story of Jake's full participation in the Women's March later in the month.
erik abriss
@AbrissErik
"Listen to Van Jones." - Jake Gyllenhaal
9:23 PM - 3 Jan 2017
Wow, you really can't see Jake's legs in that one photo. And yet it's daytime, and everything else is clear. How does that happen. ;-0
Enjoying the pictures of the 1D boys and Buffalo Springfield, one of my favorite bands.
I'd also like o add that Van Jones has been quite popular on DataLounge, judging by the threads in his name archive. ;-)
Nice job on the post, M&M. If there is one thing I have observed about both Jake and Austin is that the folks who enable them, giving cover, providing GPS back-up to their whereabouts and lying for them at times, are very frequently in the closet themselves (my opinion). And doesn't that make sense? That would be why they're willing to help them out.
The boys Jared and Jensen are in Houston TX today, appearing at the Supernatural convention. The pictures of Jared dressing up as Castiel and wearing dress shirt, slacks, tie and the beige trenchcoat are hilarious.
I wanted to add this story that a twitter Following posted yesterday. Their account name is @beardwiththepow and they've been quite informative and interesting to follow. But anyway, they retweeted this story about Marie Osmond supporting her daughter, who came out recently.
Marie Osmond speaks out
And I am quite proud of Marie because she comes from a super, super conservative family background. I think most people know the entire Osmond family is deep in the Mormon religion, one which I admire because there are a lot of good folks there as there are in all religions, but I do disagree with some of their practices and whatnot. Anyway, this was really huge of Marie to speak out like they did and she spoke up because this rag had published a big splat about her being heartsick over her daughter being a lesbian.
You know, I think each of us has the right to choose who makes that medical decision for us, I think everybody should have the right to share homes and finances with somebody that they care about. You know on those types of things I’m very supportive. When it comes to marriage … I think that civil rights need to be for all.
She did continue this quote with the "marriage" talk, although even with that, her words were kind of odd and non-commital. I'm sure she needs to also please the church elders and we really don't know what she feels in her heart. So baby steps for folks sometimes and I'm so glad Marie spoke out. She doesn't want to lose her daughter and I'm quite happy for her. Boy, Jessica (her daughter) is the spitting image of her mother, too - very, very pretty. She looks just like Marie did in her younger days.
Enjoying the pictures of the 1D boys and Buffalo Springfield, one of my favorite bands.
Hey Dest! That last gif of Harry and Louis is a really nice one. It is pure and unabashed adoration and love.
I was telling M&M the other day that it is funny of most of the pictures and videos of Jake & Austin that we have, there just aren't any of them looking directly into each other's eyes, like we have of so many other couples.
The Laker photos are as close as it has gotten. Think about the Sushi Lunch with Adam Levine and Austin is looking downward while they're standing there visiting. Then later, Austin is walking behind Jake.
In the gym with Sophia photos? Austin is on his phone and looking into the window while Jake is standing behind him.
In the NYC walking with the (suspected) nanny? They're not looking at each other.
At SXSW (which was not a professional photo op, of course there is no eye contact.
At Berlinale? Well, Austin was walking up the steps while Jake waved to the crowd and then inside at the governor's dinner, Jake was looking at Austin while he stood there swaggering with pride, I guess. lol.
Even in the Lakers photos, there is not direct eye contact that I recall seeing in any of those numerous photos. They're talking to each other and flirting, but the camera did not capture direct eye contact. It's just really rare, don't you think?
That's why I like this TDAT pic, even though we can't see Jake at that moment.
:-)
That's why I like this TDAT pic, even though we can't see Jake at that moment.
Oops! This comment really kind of belonged on the last photo. LOLLLLL !!! I was referring to the last post and the picture of JD and Sam staring at each other in TDAT. I'm a duncehead. Sorry about any confusion as to what I was talking about.
I blame all the sugar I had this morning. =O
No doubt about it, except for some early moments before they realized people were watching them Jake and Austin have been very guarded when around each other.
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