In Sickness And In Desperate Times: Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols Are Far From Done-zo

Rumors, rumors, rumors.   Pesky things, aren't they?  And for two 38 year old men who supposedly were only f-buddies or "buds with benefits" and haven't even taken a NYC broad daylight sidewalk stroll together since 2012 , there's been a sudden increase in "concern" for their relationship.  And Narnia is beginning to feel like Dear Abby - we're not sure who's going to pop up out of the internet bushes next! 

One thing is for sure, the countdown is on.   Jakers has one and a half weeks remaining with his theater gig.  On Friday, July 5, Spiderman: Far From Home will be released.  Between April 1 and July 5, it's anyone's guess the number of Instagram Stories Jakers and/or Austin's fans will be privy to, placing each one here and there, there and here.  No doubt, covering for some extended family down-time until the stretch when Jakers will begin in earnest to pound the pavement promoting the big Flick.

As mentioned before, this will be one of the biggest movies in Jake's career.  It's definitely going to be his most financially beneficial - looks like the Baby Tiles will be able to get new shoes next school year!

And just like last October when Austin was waving & flashing his right finger bling to any camera pointed in his direction, his love-bun Jake appears to now be doing the same.  

 All right, all right... geez! Funny thing.  Remember back in 2008 when Jake made an appearance at the LA Conservation Corp Spring Charity/Scholarship Luncheon?  Let's see how one account preferred to remember it.  

                                                        "Remember when he had to use crutches?"

  Aah yes, the crutches.  Well, some of us older-timers remember this outing as the one when Jake was hiding something under that dress shirt.

A bit of his own bling.  Hidden. On a chain.

Fast forward to March of 2019 and it seems Jake is turning that shirt inside out and trying to convey a "big change" in his personal life.  Sun beams are radiating from the NY Public Theater via endless Instagram pictures where he doesn't seem to mind everyone knowing THIS time around.  ;-)

 
Boom!  Watch out - that ring's a swingin'!

Boy, when these fellas want fans to notice something, they make sure it gets done, don't they?

So, which one of these two OTP halves is going to beat the other to the "barn" altar?  The "private island" altar?  The "private residence" altar? Jake??? Austin???   

The big tent pole flick very well may be requiring the big tent pole fake marriage.   The Gyllynicholsgaard Compound just may be putting the finishing touches on an additional extra mother-in-law cottage as we write!  Because these two men have about run out of stunts.  There's not many believable alternatives left.   

And it's looking more like Jake will beat Austin to the finish line.  Because after all, when the real life hubs is already allegedly carrying on a torrid, polygamous marriage with a former co-star....

Didn't you know????

I've been told!!

Yes, as you can see, it's been non-stop entertainment around the Narnia neighborhood lately.  But the sideshow activity would be hard pressed to beat a Gyllenwedding.  Aaaaah yes.  There would be no competing with that move.  

Well, Narnia is ready and will keep an eye on our internet inbox for perhaps that very special People.com announcement when the ring becomes another a band.

 
pic sources:  Buzzfeed, clipart, IHJ, giphy, LeakingTap
our playlist:  Countdown - Lindsey Buckingham
                     Band of Gold - Freda Payne

 

30 Days and 16 Years: A Pin Up History of Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols - Day 30

We close our 30 day celebration of Jake and Austin pics with another one of the many, many coincidences that may not provide the best of photos, but once the puzzle pieces are interlocked and circumstantial evidence is examined, point to a corroboration of the two being together at a certain moment in time.

Case in point, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard's wedding on May 2, 2009 in a small chapel in Brindisi, Italy. 


From the New Yorker:



Peter Sarsgaard and Maggie Gyllenhaal got married this weekend at a hotel in Italy and because of what we can only assume is a systemic, across-the-board tabloid failure, no gossip magazines were there to document the occasion. OK! was not present to take pictures, and no helicopters hovered above the hotel in Italy where Brooklyn’s reigning Bobo celebrities exchanged vows. Thus, we’ve taken it upon ourselves to reimagine what the ceremony must have been like. 

Pictured Members of the Wedding Party in the Convent's Garden: Stephen Gyllenhaal, Jake Gyllenhaal (wearing a Fedora), Mystery Man in a similar Fedora and Peter Sarsgaard. Unseen: Supposedly 40 close friends, with another family friend officiating the ceremony.

Far left: Stephen Gyllenhaal and Jake / Far right: Mystery man in hat and Peter Sarsgaard  

  Far left: Austin Nichols wearing a Fedora at November 2009 movie premiere of Pippa Lee.  Far right: Mystery Man with dark Fedora standing next to Peter Sarsgaard

That hat looks familiar, doesn't it? To the left you see Austin at the Private Lives of Pippa Lee premiere later that year in NY. To the right, that similar shaped chapeau could very well point to Austin being there too, standing next to the groom, Peter Sarsgaard in the courtyard with Jake and his father. The odd height differences no doubt associated with varying ground levels behind the concrete wall. For example, Jake looks far shorter than Stephen Gyllenhaal, in that photo, which is not the case in real life.

How fascinating that Maggie and Peter made sure to have a very quiet, private wedding and yet, the tabloids followed with stories of how even though there were no other celebrities invited to the wedding, or cameras, Reese Witherspoon was there, which means lots and lots of stunt pics followed!!! Supposedly, there were also multiple PDA's between Jake and Reese that weekend. Oh, and Jake's mother was there looking on while they made out. Must be real, if perennial buttinsky, Mommy Dearest is third wheeling it. Of course, no pic of Reese at the wedding ever did surface, although stories like this began to pop up everywhere:

While the focus was on the newlyweds, Reese and Jake managed to find time for their own romance, which included lots of sweet PDAs while spending the afternoon with his mom. We couldn't resist bringing you a peek at their getaway surrounding Maggie and Peter's big day.  ~ Pop Sugar

One of Narnia's favorite pics from the tabloid gallery, was entitled..."Lovebirds"

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!  Although this "candid" moment was a classic sneak peek into these two's "romantic" weekend, the pic below absolutely screams, LOVED UP COUPLE too.

What needs to be remembered is that this was supposed to be Peter and Maggie's special weekend. Yet, somehow the whole affair became all about Jake and his beard.  Almost like some major "Look over here, not over there" razzle dazzle was taking place. Just enough distraction for a certain Fedora-wearing Mystery Man to skedaddle without anyone (except, Oh My Godot) noticing. Moreover, if the other guests were unknowns and family friends, there would be no need for deception and artifice.

For the record, the "inseparable" lovebirds, Reese and Jake "broke up" six months after this "we can't get enough of each other" pap shoot, while Austin and Jake are still together nine years later. Guess those matching hats don't lie.


And so that wraps up our - what's that??? Huh?

Whatcha got there?  A bit of extra credit, you say?  Well, by all means!  Come on down!

via GIPHY 

Jake and Austin put the rubber to the asphalt on one more occasion back in 2007.  Here they are, sporting essential spandex gear to capture all those "curves" in the road. *wink*

April 07, 2007

Looking good, fellas!!  

And so now we can wrap up this burrito of 30 days and 16 years of Jake and Austin; involving five different states and three different countries.  We saw the men partake in biking, running, driving, working out, shopping, working, schmoozing, public transit'ing, walking, dining, java'ing, partying, dating, playing, and Laker-ing.  

And think about it;  that's just what the cameras were privy to.  ;-)  Thank you all for joining us!  And thank you to Jake and Austin, without whom we would have missed out on so much fun.


pic sources:  IHJ. Oh My Godot, Pop Sugar, Just Jared 
playlist:  You Can Leave Your Hat On - Joe Cocker
                Wedding Bell Blues - Fifth Dimension
                Beg Steal or Borrow - Ray Lamontagne

The Mysteries of Insta Taking

When a birthday-with-friends photo can turn out so well...

But a wedding-meal-with-friends photo not...

We at Narnia seem to be the only ones questioning the wedding meal photo, and that's okay.  At first glance, there doesn't seem to be anything to question, albeit the "sepia" filter which we assume is to add an artsy effect.  

But it really shouldn't take long to realize that Jared's face and hair are extremely blurred and layered.  And the waiter staff person (we assume) in the far background is blurred as well, but is that because he's moving? Or because he's a bearded civilian and therefore won't be able to be positively identified?

And if he's blurred because he's moving, that at least would make sense, wouldn't it?  Should Jared be moving that much as he looks straight ahead, engrossed in conversation?   And if he is indeed talking to the blond woman across from him, why does it appear as though her head is facing the picture taker, yet her hands are gesturing towards Jared?  

Of course, there are the whole "where are the children" and the 'groom just supposedly met his bride several months ago' questions.  Could Jared really have been the one holding down the fort with the ark?  That's saying if there really was a wedding at all.

But time is of the essence when it's this late at night and work is to be had tomorrow.  The burning question remains why in this age of cellphones and their top-notch cameras, some of these closeted OTP's continue to be the victims of terrible picture taking at the worst of times? And there seems to be the forgetfulness of previewing, seeing that a photo is inferior and the option of a re-take.  

via GIPHY

And it appears that the witching hour has now come, time for the patch and repair.   Time for some hocus pocus, eh boys?

pic sources:  sierracynic on wordpress, giphy
our playlist:  Magic - Pilot
                     The Ghost in You - Psychedelic Furs
                     Ghost Town - Madonna

Behold the Emasculation Proclamation! - The Outer Layer Stripping of the OTP Leader (Part 1 of 3)

Or as Liam Payne might say, let's "Strip That Down":

Although this particular closeting tactic has evolved over the years, its growing occurrence and impact are unmistakable. As a PR technique the formula invariably involves one half of a prominent OTP couple, with the primary purpose of fracturing largely female fandoms by encouraging a protective "taking sides" mentality.  This divide and conquer approach essentially targets the one member who is perceived as the ring leader of a pairing when it comes to fighting the system and in the process undermining a management team's carefully crafted lies.

With each of the three pairs under discussion here, one member has been shown to possess many, if not all, of the following characteristics:  outspoken, strong-willed, the pillar, the fighter, the protector, the leader.  That doesn't mean the other half is a pushover or has no fight in them.  But each of these following three men largely have been the ones that Management has felt the need to control and in that process devalue, marginalize and/or enfeeble as much as possible.

You might ask why a management team would for all intents and purposes hurt the image of one of their clients? In other words, what would be the point of that?  As mentioned before, it is useful to weaken the power of a united fandom by favoring one part of a pairing over another. In addition, it is a great way of controlling gay celebrities, by having one perform the majority of the stunting and bearding, while also portraying them as problematic personality types.


No doubt, a goal of over-the-top bearding/stunting is also to turn fans off to the point where they feel the other half "deserves better". Or that the "shameful" behavior of the stunting partner is "holding back" and preventing the quieter half from reaching his "horizon of freedom".  How many times has one read in comment threads or tumblr posts that a fan wishes Harry to leave Louis behind in the closet or Jensen to "move on" past Jared.  Thus, a polarization occurs within the OTP's own fandom,  chipping away at their loyalty and belief.  Exploits and story lines are created to make the male celebrity look unstable, volatile, perverted, and/or of course, there's that whole heterosexual thing as well.

Narnia now looks at three of our OTP halves and how each one has been made an example of by their PR teams.


1)  Austin Nichols  At least by 2010, the movement seemed to start by anons repeatedly labeling Austin as a "D-List" actor "unworthy" of the likes of Jake.

"Anonymous said...

3:11, this is a celebrity blog.

Austin isn't much of a celebrity. He's just not the interesting.

That may change. But it's been at least four years since I've first heard of him, and he still is C/D list status.

He may be a good person, just not an interesting one.

March 13, 2009 3:18 pm" - WFT2

"Anonymous said...
11:32 AM - fingers crossed for Jake to meet the right man SOON!

July 07, 2010 11:40 am" -  WFT2

" Anonymous said...

Oh please. How can he be superficial when he's been with Dunst, Witherspoon and Butthead (of Beavis and) himself - Nichols.

October 29, 2009 7:40 pm" - WFT2

"Anonymous said...

Something I have always wondered. If Austin and Jake are still together, has anyone heard any info. as to why Austin stays. I understand what Reese and Jake may get from the bearding, but I don't understand Austin.

Does he have no pride or backbone? Love does not mean putting up with being in the shadows or treated like a convience. You can love someone and not put up with their behavior.

So, what is Austin getting out of this? We know it's not fidelity or loyalty. At this point, I am not sure it's even love, at least not from Jake's end (although Jake may hang on just because it's easier to do so than to find a steady, stable outlet for sex).

February 14, 2009 7:39 pm"  -  WFT2

"Anonymous said...

anon 1:04: We ass-u-me their great good friends. I guess Chris, and the Levine boys and Ryan Phillippe and Heath are his buddies, too. Along with Lance and Matt. Maybe we should give equal prominence to ALL Jake's great good friends.
Unless by featuring this C-list actor (I'm being nice bcz he works semi regularly on episodic TV) we are having a special celebration of mediocrity.

9:22 PM GMT+1" - Jake Watch (Stalking Jake Gyllenhaal Daily) 


This was followed later by portraying Austin as a man with drinking and drug problems during the Sophin era (with beard Sophia Bush).  After the break up of Sophin, these comment claims morphed into signs of inappropriate behavior. Austin's twitter account was noticeably used by interns to reflect "his" frequently and flirtatiously direct messaging to young and sometimes "under aged" female fans.  Now, it is quite obvious this was done to repulse fans of Jake and Austin and see the Texan as some kind of creepy stalker and pedophile.

kianna ϟ. (@kiannak23)

3/17/12 11:35 PM
@maryohhh    well the context of the tweets were a bit weird to actually be austin. My friend got one saying "what are you wearing right now."

Ca y est je peux mourir tranquille @AUS10NICHOLS you're the best pic.twitter.com/GlHX7Rd7

— Fatma Hamza ♔ (@FatmaHamza97) August 16, 2012

 

Then there was this Twitlonger from a @Nikk_xx, which was a reaction to the 2012-2013 pattern of Austin's twitter account's behavior (edited) :

This one was followed with the "proof":

2012 began a pivotal transition period for Jake and Austin. Following their sushi lunch together in January and trip to Berlinale in February  a pattern was initiated of "moving" Jake to New York City, preparing the way for Austin to begin bearding with Agents of Shield actress Chloe Bennet, which would base him out of Los Angeles, CA, and thus, far away from Jake. A plan was also established to relentlessly troll the Jake/Austin blog "Oh My Godot" into, no doubt, permanent burial.  Previously, Austin had been portrayed as a social media, under-aged fan stalker.  Management thought they would try a different tactic: Instagram Story prop man for the actress Chloe Bennet's dogs and stunt participant:

@austinnichols

A post shared by Chloe Bennet (@chloebennet) on May 11, 2015 at 8:00am PDT

And let's not forget that "accidentally-on-purpose" posted Instagram pic that was quickly "deleted":

"Bless the people who save pictures before they're taken down.  Her boyfriend posted in on instagram, it was not part of the Fappening." - X1 Radio/X-Jock
  

https://fandomshatepeopleofcolor.tumblr.com/post/165571618995/i-cant-find-it-now-but-there-was-a-pretty-damning

 

@_Miss_Kika
1/30/13, 18:00

@AUS10NICHOLS I tweet u 13 times for support,asking Q's & sending love &u ignore all of them but u reply 2 this hum 1/2 http://pic.twitter.com/jUfQr1X9  [author note: the link no longer works but it was an inappropriate tweet sent from Austin's account to this particular tweeter & longtime fan]

Yes, it is amazing that a USC graduate and actor with his DGA (Directors Guild of America) card could be and was eventually reduced to these closeting practices.   
 
But what hasn't proved to be a surprise is that Austin apparently has had little or no hesitation doing what was "required" of him. Is it because he's capable of compartmentalizing to the point where he really doesn't look bothered by the bearding; is able to emotionally handle it better.  This isn't to be confused with "has no issues doing".  There were a few too many pictures such as the ones below during the Sophin era, which show that perhaps Austin had another way of releasing any pent up feelings about what he was going through.

*************************************

TBC with Part 2 of 3


collaborated:  Methodical Muser and Prairie Girl
pic sources:  bluffton, businessinsider
our playlist:  Blind My Mind - Flunk
                     Strong Enough - Sheryl Crowe
                     You Make Me Strong - 1D
                     That's How Strong My Love Is - Bryan Ferry
                     My Weakness - Kris Allen