Thirty Days of Toothy Tile, Grey Goose and the Baby Tiles
Day 30
*Sniff*
via GIPHY
As the medieval proverb reminds us, "All good things must come to an end." And, the thirtieth day of our celebration of Toothy, Grey Goose and BTs is no exception to the simplicity of this inevitable truth. Choosing what material to showcase throughout the month of April was a labor of love, although the task often proved challenging since these two smitten kittens have supplied us with an embarrassment of riches over the last 15 years.
As may be recalled, we started this journey with the most popular Blind Item of all time, the romantic debut of a closeted Hollywood actor introduced by way of a gossipy, but clue-driven news story entitled, "One Adorable Blind Vice" back in March 2005. So it is only fitting that we conclude this journey with probably one of the most clever hot leads Ted Casablanca set forth as part of his Morning Mail, "Dear Ted" letters; those ongoing and revealing hints that Toothy and Goose were not just hubbies, but a real family unit that did not stop with one Baby Tile, but were instead spawning a growing brood behind the scenes.
The most easily identifiable method he used to communicate the controversial concept of multiple babies was by discreetly producing fan letters on three separate occasions that continued to ask if Baby Tile was human. At one point, a perceptive reader even asked why was Ted posting and answering essentially the same humdrum question three times over a two year period. That, of course was the compelling question to ask because Ted Casablanca had a way with words like no other. Given the man's undeniable prowess with the English language, there is a high probability that his intentional "is baby tile human" repetition had nothing to do with a memory lapse and everything to do with adding another missing piece to the Family Tile puzzle.
September 4, 2008
Dear Ted:
Is Baby
Tile human or animal?
—C.L. in Pa.
Dear
Little of Both:
As human as something can be in this town.
(Baby Tile
#1 is human and was believed to have been born October 17, 2007)
February 24, 2010
Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile human, feline, canine or equine?
—J
Dear Smarty Pants:
Come to think of it, I didn't say kitty, puppy or pony—did I?
(Baby Tile
#2/3 is human and was believed to have been born in December, 2008). This
birth was thought to be twins.
September 23, 2010
Dear Ted:
Is Baby Tile a human baby, or could it be a pet that the Tiles' adopted and
share?
—CF
Dear Baby Onboard:
How disappointing would that be! Nope, while T2 loves his four-legged friend,
Baby Tile is as human as they come.
(Baby Tile
#4 is human and was believed to have been born in the first week of August,
2010)
In
addition to the “Baby Tile is human” meme, Ted also had other smirk- producing
ways of sledge hammering home the notion of multiple Tile bambinos over the years. One observable pattern was how he used January as the kick off month for these crafty tipoffs. That is, at least, up until little old moi pointed out this clue posting pattern on OMG. Having someone figure out what he was doing to clue people into Jake and Austin's continuing "dirty little secret" of a growing family prompted Ted to
change it up the following year, even using a different month to announce the new bundle of joy by
specifically publishing his letter on November 28, 2011, the day Maggie Gyllenhaal’s own pregnancy story
hit the headlines.
This time the common stork arrival language was coupled with a congratulatory “Welcome Babe” letter as well as an unmistakable "changing diapers" reference. Being that BT1 was already four years old by this point, the diaper reference clearly hinted at a welcomed newborn,
not a preschooler.
ONE KIDS 'R' US
BLIND VICE January 11, 2007
PIGS IN BLANKETS
FOR TOOTHY? COMING OUT DAY January 8,
2009
BUNDLE OF JOY
“DEAR TED” LETTER & FAMILY TILE “CONSTANTLY”
EXPANDING IN MANY WAYS January 9, 2010
“WELCOME BABE”
Dear Ted Letter - November 28, 2011
Mon., Nov. 28, 2011
Dear Ted:
I'm a newbie to the A.T. and greatly enjoyed reading
about Toothy Tile's antics. It seems he's been quite secretive lately, is this
due to daddy duty?
—Z
Dear Parental Control:
Welcome, babe. As for Mr. Tile, his papa patrol may have
something to do with his flying under the radar lately, but there's more to the
picture than just that. He's always been able to manage Vicing and changin'
diapers in the past.
Now let's go one step further to the most persuasive evidence of all. If Ted Casablanca had been the only one who provided clues that lead to the high plausibility of multiple Tiles existing, the secondhand confirmation might not have been nearly as convincing. But, let's consider how much more real this proposition would be if our own papa-producing protagonists, Jake Gyllenhaal and Austin Nichols, also jointly participated in their own version of proud parental announcements? That's right, Jake and Austin themselves let the world know every single time the surrogacy stork arrived. The verification was subtle, but consistent with Ted's own chronology. Public pictures of the happy pappies posted within a six month span of each new baby. Sometimes the couply photos appeared before the birth. Sometimes afterwards. Nevertheless, regardless of circumstance or contract restrictions, which sometimes caused a beard, bro pals, or some other, never to be seen again miscellaneous female to be included in the pap walk, the pattern was never broken.
October 17, 2007 (Baby Tile 1)
April 3, 2007 [photos taken] - Griffith Park, Los Angeles, CA
December 2008 (Baby Tile 2)
March 5 , 2009 [photo taken] - Brentwood, CA
December 2008 (Baby Tile 3)
April 13 , 2009 [photo taken] - Santa Monica, CA
Twins? Because this is the only year in which 2 pics are posted of Austin and Jake together within just five weeks of one another
August, 2010 (Baby Tile 4)
May 29, 2010 [photos taken] - Los Angeles, CA
Note: Austin's beard at the time, Sophia Bush,was included in some of the staged photos
November 11, 2011 (Baby Tile 5)
January 18, 2012 [photos taken] - Studio City, CA
November/December 2012 (Baby Tile 6)
November 9, 2012 [photo taken] - East Village, NYC
November/December, 2015 (Baby Tile 7)
March 12, 2016 [photo taken] - Austin, TX
Perhaps Ted Casablanca summed it up best on December 29, 2011 with an end of the year post that named Jake Gyllenhaal as one of the 99 reasons we love Hollywood. Because despite the fame, the fancy clothes, and the glamorous lifestyles, "it's the little things in life" that make the difference. Right, Jake?
Author: Methodical Muser
Pic Sources: Just Jared, Giphy, Twitter, IHJ
Our Playlist: What is Life - George Harrison
Little Things - One Direction
Wild Horses - Rolling Stones
Wild Horses - The Sundays
